If Only
by sakuraicehime
Summary: Matsumoto Rangiku & the SWA are about to cause one of the greatest commotions in all Seireitei, however the audacious fukutaicho will find that her latest project might not only cost her her rank, but also her heart. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Copyright & disclaimer notice

**Hello, everyone! I had forgotten to add the mandatory copyright & disclaimer notice at the beginning of this story, so here it is: I do not own any of the Bleach characters. I apologize for the initial omission though, but I hope you can forgive me as this is my first fanfic ever. All reviews will be welcomed. Thank you for picking this story to read. Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeers! **


	2. Chapter 1

Good news

The clock struck six, and Matsumoto found herself eager to leave her office with an anticipation she hadn't felt in a long time. This wouldn´t be just another boring post-Aizen afternoon devoted to endless talks with Nanao-san on how her friend had unknowingly allowed her shameless captain to take over her heart when he hadn´t yet shown any sign of wanting to give up his womanizer ways, or her own pathetic –and ever weaker- attempts in creating new excuses to turn down her boyfriend´s silent requests to finally become intimate after the already excruciatingly long time it had taken for him to confess his feelings to her. But anyway, those topics couldn't –thank kami- be farther from the issue she, along with the other members of the Shinigami Women´s Association, had decided to discuss that afternoon. So, without so much as a back-glance at the place where her seriously workaholic captain usually devoted himself to revising endless mountains of paperwork, Rangiku leapt from her comfortable sofa in the middle of the Tenth Division bureau, and used her revived energy to perform an expert shunpo that would take her away from her lonely working day and directly to the SWA´s headquarters.

"Ran-san!" –cried Isane with a soft blush on her cheeks upon seeing Matsumoto enter the room. Rangiku returned her friend´s greeting with a blinding smile. She couldn´t believe how after so many years of both embarrassing and memorable experiences shared as part of this club the tallest shinigami in all Seireitei was until incapable of leaving her shyness behind. She looked a little more relax than in previous sessions, though; probably due to the fact that her own captain would be presiding the meeting for the first time since Unohana decided to take a more active role in their association, which in turn had ended up in her being voted their new President.

As Matsumoto looked around, she couldn´t help letting out a sigh of relief mixed with awe. Their SWA, which had started with the single purpose of covering all their dirty little mischieves, had definitely reached its golden era. At present they were the only ones who could pride themselves of having the best recreational premises, including a huge lounge, a pool area, and their beloved auditorium, which would be the chosen scenario for today's meeting. The auditorium, of course, was usually reserved only for important discussions such as Soifon's desperate need to unwind in order to avoid annihilating her own insufferable fukutaichou, and Yachiru's obstinate denial about her obsession with candies and Byakuya; though lately she had actually managed to even merge both fixations, all thanks to Rangiku's inappropriate x-rated comments. Yachiru's hot-blooded nature had, as a matter of fact, turned out so unpredictable and potentially dangerous, that Nanao-san hadn't waste any time in appointing Matsumoto as the eleventh division´s fukutaicho´s "instructor", namely after the pink-haired menace started requesting advice on how to seduce a man. Kusajishi-san, on the other hand, had taken very seriously her first –and self-assigned, it must be said- task: to copy Matsumoto's trademark habits, such as her ability to drink sake like a pirate, and to wear her uniform in the most provocative way imaginable.

"Anyway," –Rangiku thought out loud- "that might be due to my obvious natural charms, haha".

"My, my, woke up in high spirits, eh Rangiku?" Nanao suddenly appeared behind her with a small smile on her face and her eyes focused on the file she was holding while crossing out another item from what seemed to be a checklist. "Or have you already devised a new plan to get us in trouble with the administration again? Wait, wait, better not to know, I guess. I need witnesses to prove I have nothing to do with your crazy ideas."

Matsumoto couldn't help laughing merrily at her friend's comment. "Really Nanao-chan, you and my taichou keep getting wittier every day. Guess I've grown on you two, haven't I? I feel sooo proud!" replied the voluptuous shinigami right before giving her friend one of her infamous hugs. Matsumoto had to admit it, she almost felt alive again whenever she did that; after all, it was only directed to those closest to her heart… so getting them physically closer to it came pretty natural to her as a result. The only insignificant problem was that the way she expressed her affection was never fully appreciated. Like this time, for example.

"Oh, cut it out, Matsumoto! My notes are falling to the floor and mind me, they are very important."

"Oooh!" –said the 10th division fukutaicho with a fake impressed look and an unbeatable Cheshire cat grin –"guess you really are my captain's long lost twin! I'll have to give him the news as soon as he comes back from his reiatsu checkup!"

Nanao adjusted her glasses delicately. "Isn't he back yet?"

"Nope." Said Rangiku while looking around to find her SWA comrades. "I'd never noticed anything really, but he had been saying his reiatsu was a bit off control. Guess he was right, as always, because I spoke to Isane-san yesterday and she told me that although there was nothing to worry about, he would have to remain under Unohana's direct supervision for the rest of the week."

"Does that mean you're free to teach me my first lesson, sempai-san?" asked Yachiru who came out of nowhere, as customary, to join –or interrupt, more likely- their chat. The candy lover certainly looked ready to kill: long pink hair tied in an alluring loose bun accompanied by an equally loose uniform that accentuated her now feminine curves, the hyperactive fukutaicho had turned herself into a walking fantasy to many (foolish) men in Soul Society.

"Wow, Yachiru-chan! Seems like you're interested in the intensive course, eh? I'll let you know of the date and hour, ok? Rest assured, you'll get whoever you want, you just have to be patient because not all men are easy, and yours is definitely among the rare exceptions."

"Oh, I am sure", said the pink-haired menace, and with a bright smile that could even rival Matsumoto's, she was gone.

"God, hope she knows what she's doing...",exclaimed Nanao with a lost look at no place in particular.

"Yeah, but you've got to give my pupil some credit. The man actually has the biggest fan club in all Seireitei and is not some unseated idiot with no future; he's a captain, and fortunately not hers, don´t you think?", said Rangiku with a well-practiced wink in her confidant's direction.

Nanao sent a half-intended glare at Rangiku, and was about to retort when Unohana Retsu's voice suddenly filled the halls and the lights around the around them went off.

"Girls, please; now that I believe all our senior members have finally arrived, I'll appreciate if each of you chose a comfortable seat from either of the two first rows and join us in this much anticipated reunion."

Neither Matsumoto nor any of her colleagues needed to be told twice. In an instant, everyone found an appropriate seat near the centre stage where the heads of the current board were already waiting for the session to begin.

"Good evening, ladies" –began Ise Nanao in a solemn tone. "As the SWA's Vice-President, I'll commence today's meeting with the first and most important item in our list: this year's calendar project."

Immediately, lots of whistles and excited voices could be heard at unison.

"Silence, please", commanded Unohana Retsu, with her unwavering gentle smile on place.

"Thank you, madam President", said Nanao while readjusting her glasses for the third time.

"She shouldn't bother about her damned glasses considering tonight's theme", though Rangiku to herself. The read-haired shinigami had the distinct impression that everyone else was, in fact, thinking along the same lines when she heard muffled laughter all around the auditorium. When the noise started growing lauder, of course, her short-tempered friend chose to put an end to it with one of her famous death glares.

"Well, as most of you may already know, for many decades we have requested the Soutaicho's approval of our initiative to elaborate a nude calendar showing our male officers as models, but always with a negative response. In this occasion, however, and thanks to captain Unohana's intervention in the negotiations," –at this point they were all holding their breaths- "our proposal has been… accepted!" What came next was utter madness. Matsumoto punched the air in triumph, Isane and Kiyone hugged, Yachiru actually ran towards captain Unohana to kiss her cheeks repeatedly, and even Nanao couldn't stop herself from laughing openly.

Eventually, the president of the SWA had to step up again to calm everyone down.

"Ok, ok, please dears, just return to your seats quickly because there's plenty to be decided to get this done. Besides, you still need to be made aware of the conditions set up by the Soutaicho during our most recent discussion".

At once, the joyful crowd retreated to their seats eager to learn the details of the arrangement.

"Very well," said Nanao-san not minding to rearrange her glasses once more, but actually removing them herself, "first and foremost, we need to clarify that this will be a one-time project. In other words, we won't be making any other calendars of this nature in the years to come, at least not as long as the officers included in this one remain in the same positions".

"Nevertheless," continued Retsu, "there is a possibility an additional special edition might be released this year as well." Matsumoto instantly exchanged looks with Nanao who, to her surprise, seemed just as disconcerted as the rest of her colleagues. "Wow! This better be good. I've never seen the healer lady smile like that before…", whispered Yachiru to her right, as if echoing her own musings.

"So-so-sorry, captain," said Isane with her left hand half in the air, "I don't understand. If the original edition will show… tempting pictures of good-looking seated officers, what could the special one offer? Will there be any, any… to-to-total nudes of them?"

The noise came back in full force, but before anyone had time to speculate, the 4th division captain replied. "No, but I got an even better deal. You see, provided we get a profit of over 1000% from the regular edition, and we donated all of it to a research the Soutaicho is interested in as well as to the reconstruction of Rukongai's poorest districts…"

"Over 1000%?", interjected Kiyone in total indignation, "That's outrageous! What could the old geezer possibly be offering to us?"

At this, Isane hit her sister on the shoulder, clapped her hand to her mouth, and opened her usually sleepy eyes to the size of large saucers. Her captain simply smiled.

"I see you've caught on, Isane-chan. But you mentioned it yourself the other day, didn't you? So I thought there would be no harm in asking…"

"What?" interrupted Yachiru this time, her eyes glowing with excitement and half of her body ready to jump off her seat's cushion. "Just tell us already!"

"If we reach the goal determined by the Soutaicho and proceed as I have said, he might offer us the chance to make a special edition… , but featuring the Gotei 13".


	3. Chapter 2

2. Hangovers & resolutions

Rangiku woke up the next morning to one of the worse hangovers of her life. The usual signs of a wild party laid scattered around her in the floor: her pair of shinigami sandals, a wide variety of sake bottles, her friend Nanao, a few blankets she had apparently tried to grab from her bed before passing out… "Eeh…?" said Matsumoto finally fully opening her big grey eyes and turning to see her comrade in arms totally and undeniably "drunk?", she finished in such a thrilled high-pitched yell that successfully woke her friend up with a start.

"Who? What? Rangiku!" The lean black-haired fukutaicho jumped from the floor like a spring and, after a couple of seconds she took to shoot a tired and angry look on her friend's direction, launched herself into a desperate quest to find her glasses. The redhead, on the other side, was doubled up in such a fit of laughter that it took her several minutes to calm down.

"Oh, don't get pissed now. Truth be told, I couldn't believe it when you decided to take up my offer to go for a few drinks, Nanao-chan", pronounced Rangiku, pure proud flowing through her veins.

"Matsumoto, what time do you think it is?", demanded Nanao with as much dignity as she could muster while looking under her friend's hopelessly disorganized furniture. Her subtle question, however, hadn't succeeded in diverting Matsumoto's attention at all.

"Uhmmm, but I have to confess, that was one hell of an excuse they gave us to celebrate last night, eh?"

"Yeah, yeah…", admitted Nanao with a defeated sigh Rangiku knew too well. Circling her arms around her friend's shoulders, she comforted her.

"Oh, come on… don't worry, ok? Kyoraku is a Casanova alright, but he needs to realize there are other big fish in our sea; his ego has long been asking for a good lesson, you know? I can bet this dirty little project of ours will redirect the interest of his groupies quite effectively", said Matsumoto, a knowing smirk on her face.

"Well, I guess that would actually make sense. But you're letting out the other very possible result: that he might take full advantage of the spotlight to show off even more than usual to get new airheaded one night stand wannabes".

It was Rangiku's turn to sigh. "We know he might very well do it Nanao-chan, but remember the rules we established yesterday in case we hit the Gotei 13 jackpot: 10 individual pictures for our 10 male captains –Kurotsuchi Mayuri excluded, of course, for obvious reasons. To increase our customers' expectations none of them will expose the same amount of flesh, so their degrees of nudity will vary from 10% to 100% and will be determined at random in a raffle supervised by Unohana herself to ensure the process' transparency. If you think about it logically, only those unfortunate soul reapers who get 70% up will be forced to show what they're made of; the rest will just be a nice delicacy before the main course", explained the sake lover with a mischievous smile on her lips.

"You're right. Hope he ends up at the beginning of the calendar with nothing to take off except for his shoes! By the way, doesn't it bother you at all that your own boyfriend will have to pose for our first project?"

Matsumoto'smile turned into a painful grimace.

"Oh, Nanao… What wouldn't I give to feel bothered about that, you know? I've done my best to make this work, but everyone else seems to have noticed I'm… not that into him. Even the other day Yumichika was asking me for the zillionth time this month if I ever thought it was fair to keep Shuuhei tied to me for no reason". Rangiku messed her hair up in desperation and let herself fall limply across her perfectly made bed.

"Well, he's got a point. After all, he might be wrong in thinking he's Seireitei's paradigm of male beauty, but he's an expert in matters of the heart. You have already given your relationship many chances to blossom, and so far you haven't even gotten used to kissing him. This isn't you not being able to recover from old painful heartbreaks, this is your headstrong self trying so hard to make it work that you have forgotten these things are supposed to come natural. Weren't you the one who told me the staying-together part was the only hard part in the rollercoaster of love? Though how would I know, really…"

"Oh, no, no, no. Come here", said Rangiku hugging Nanao who had sit on the edge of her bed. "This isn't over, ok? Listen to me; if Shunsui really cares about you as much as I'm sure he does, he'll have to learn the hard way; and I'll give Shuuhei just one more opportunity to sweep me off my feet, otherwise I promise here and now that I'll ask him to be my friend only. Agreed?"

Shaking Matsumoto's outstretched hand, Nanao finally managed a sincere smile.

"Well, if my drunk playboy captain doesn't finally grow up, I swear to you I'll have to request my transfer to another division, because I won't continue doing his paperwork while he fools around with his pathetic tramps every bloody day".

"Woohoo! Well said, Nanao-chan!"

"Oh, but Rangiku, wait! Haven't you, eh, forgotten something?"

"Uh, no… like what?"

"What about YOUR captain?"

"My cap… Oh, fuck! My taicho!" Matsumoto, who had been celebrating jumping over her mattress, halted so abruptly she fell to the floor with a painful thud. After rubbing the affected area for a moment the voluptuous shinigami let out a protracted sigh.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! I better start thinking of some nice alibi, or else you won't be the only fukutaicho heading for the transfer".


	4. Chapter 3

3.

To Matsumoto, the next couple of days went by pretty fast in a bittersweet blurred mix of brain-taxing debates with herself, and contagious fangirlism. But, while she hadn´t yet thought of a strategy smart enough to secure her position at the Tenth Division, the calendar project was very much on its way.

"Oh, come on, Matsumoto-san!", pleaded Kotetsu Isane completely out of breath after having ran all around Seiretei looking for the redheaded shinigami only to find out that she was leaving for the Real World. "I really, really need your help with this task. I promise I'll never ask anything from you ever again!"

"I am sure you would keep your word, Isane-chan, I definitely do; but your own captain has already made it very clear –you know, in her delicate but casually creepy tone of voice- that she needs me to assist Nanao with some important last minute shopping in the Real World that apparently can't wait, and that it would be better if we came back the day after tomorrow the latest so as to avoid any problems. In other words, if we don't leave now, we're screwed".

"But, but…", started the tall fukutaicho with an expression of pain that resembled that of a frustrated toddler too small to be able to reach for her favorite sleeping blanket. Matsumoto couldn't help to stop packing for a moment to give her colleague some moral support.

"Look at me, Isane-chan. There's nothing to worry about at this stage, ok? You actually have the easiest and funniest task of all, which is to make a small poll to gather naughty fresh ideas for our photo shoot sessions, right? I know you might be a bit scared right now-"

"I'm freaking out!"

Matsumoto laughed heartily. "Ok, so you're freaking out because of this project. Well, many of us are. However, if you want my honest advice, you have to overcome that cute shyness of yours, otherwise you won't survive the next couple of weeks".

"Survive? What is that about? Have you been given a nasty mission, Kotetsu-san?" Hisagi had just entered Matsumoto's quarters and was standing next to the door with a concerned expression on his face. Isane immediately flushed and started stammering.

"Honey!", exclaimed Matsumoto just before shupooing to wrap her arms around Shuuhei and distract him from the little chat he had inadvertently interrupted. The tattooed shinigami had gotten so used to her lack of attention –she had told him she wasn't openly affectionate when in a serious relationship- he felt deeply moved whenever she acknowledged him as her boyfriend; even more so if she did it in public, like in this opportunity.

"Oh, Rangiku! Wha-wha-how…how are you doing? Are you two going somewhere?"

"No, Kotetsu-san here is staying, while I go to the Real World. However, you won't even have time to miss me because I'll only be away for a few hours to get a few things for Unohana taichou. Ain't that right, Isane-chan?". Her fellow SWA member instantly blushed once more. Matsumoto sighed knowingly.

"Sure, sure. Nothing to worry about, Shu-I mean, Hisagi taichou", said an incredibly read Isane. "Well, I think I'll get going as you recommended, Matsumoto-san. Have a good trip!"

"Eeh? Hey! Where…? Rangiku, is everything really ok? Kotetsu-san did seem kind of scared…", pondered the confused former fukutaicho with his eyes following the disappearing shadow of the fourth division's officer. By the time he turned around to look at the owner of his heart, of course, she had already left his side to finish packing for her upcoming assignment.

"Rangiku?"

"Yes, Shuuhei?", answered Matsumoto, this time with a more genuine but less happy smile on her face. The moment had arrived.

"Do you still want us to have dinner together this evening? It's fine if you prefer to cancel to get ready for your trip. When is it, by the way?"

"Oh, no. Don't be silly! My trip may be tomorrow, but I already have what I need. Besides, Nanao-chan will be with me, so there's no chance I can "lose my focus" as my taichou always says".

"Great! Oh, wait… did you say you have to go tomorrow?"

A sad look took over his handsome features. Matsumoto had to admit she completely appreciated having such a transparent man next to her, but his growing disappointment was beginning to get to her. She knew he was expecting that night to become "the night", especially since she had been the one to come up with the idea, but…

"I know. I'm sorry", she said sincerely. "Though, if you want, we can eat early so that we can spend more time together, right?"

"Of course!", he replied full of excitement. "You needn't even ask, my love".

At that, Matsumoto froze. She searched his eyes for a confirmation and there it was. The man in front of her had gone totally red, but wasn't taking anything back. Hisagi Shuuhei had definitely said the magic word every woman in love waited to hear, right before what was supposed to be the day she would finally dump him.

"I-I….Shuuhei…"

"Don't worry, Rangiku. I don't need an answer. I actually don't want it right now, not before our dinner, ok?".

The redhead smiled in relief, took his hand, and left to change before their evening out.

"Oh, dear kami!", she though grimly. "Guess there won't be any closure today".


	5. Chapter 5

4.

"I will not kill him, he isn't worth it.", thought Nanao for the twentieth time that morning. Soft rustle and a woman's muffled laughter could be heard coming from her taichou's private library at the back, almost distracting her from her paperwork. When she finished, of course, she laid her stack of papers with as much force as she could muster over her lazy boss' desk. The resulting noise caused all other unwanted sounds to stop abruptly. She knew it would definitely earn her additional harassment from the above individual, but instead of that, the doors to her office parted to show a yawning Matsumoto.

"See you've come to cheer me up, haven't you?" asked the bespectacled shinigami darkly, though her expression could not conceal her relief in seeing her friend there.

"Awww, that's so sweet of you!" An amused smile formed on Matsumoto's lips when she recognized the real feelings behind the cold attitude. Her own eyes, however, sported very noticeable bags under them; bags that spoke of frustration and lack of sleep.

"That's my Nanao-chan, alright", agreed wholeheartedly the Eighth Division taichou suddenly appearing from behind his subordinate. "How are you doing, Ran? Had a tough night?", added Kyoraku wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, at which Matsumoto reacted taking her hands to her hips in playful faked indignation. The man on the pink haori chuckled.

"Oh, you know I'm just kidding. Besides, I heard it was Shuuhei with whom you went out last night, so I'm pretty sure nothing ha-ouch! Why did you do that, my sweet Nanao?" His assistant had just smacked him over the head with a heavy wooden clip notepad.

"Are you ready, Matsumoto?", asked Nanao completely ignoring her taichou's offended pose.

"Of course! By the way, have you packed any sexy stuff in that trunk you have there? Remember there might be good-looking men in the Real World".

"Real World? When…?" Shunsui looked at the black haired officer confused. She sighed, annoyed to say the least, and started looking for something in his messy pile of unread reports. A few seconds later she retrieved a big, fluorescent post-it note with her handwriting on it. The date on the top of it was from the beginning of that week. Kyoraku had the decency of looking ashamed, but only got a tired glare and a cold snort in response.

"Well," –continued the infuriated shinigami in a casual way, but still avoiding speaking to her head of division- "I certainly have clothes for those occasions that I could take along, but I'd rather go shopping there. I will let you assist me, if you wish-oww!", finished Ise Nanao almost suffocated beneath Matsumoto's painfully-too-excited bear hug.

"Yes, yes, yes! I knew you'd let me someday, Nanao-chan! It will be so fun!"

"Eeh, ehem, fun it will be, it seems. Sure you won't need any male company just to make sure you lovely ladies don't get too many unwelcomed guys around you? I think a couple of weeks down there might do me some good considering nothing interesting has-", but suddenly Kyoraku was forced to interrupt his inspired speech at the glare that Rangiku was directing at him. Nanao, on the hand, had momentarily frozen in her tracks like a cat ready to jump. The sake-lover fukutaicho, of course, lightened up the mood with her well-practiced sarcasm.

"Oh, you see, Ise? I knew there was something we had forgotten to pack: a strong, powerful male captain who can protect us from being approached by simple human men during our short, meaningless trip! Hey, but wait. Don't you think protecting ourselves was precisely what we were taught right after we entered the academy, lesson 101?", said Matsumoto in a falsely sweet and subtly reproachful tone.

"Now, now, Ran. I'm not the chauvinist type, and I'm certainly aware of your worth. I'm just trying to say that I worry about-"

"About what?", interrupted his subordinate yet again; this time finally turning around to exterminate Shunsui with her best disgusted look. "About being left here behind with no chance to waste your time in the Real World instead of doing it here? I'm pretty sure getting drunk and flirting with bimbos hasn't been added to your official list of duties".

The laid-back captain stood watching her silently with an unreadable look in his dark eyes, while Ise Nanao broke their eye contact to continue arranging her luggage. Neverthess, the moment he got closer to her to assist her, she decided to strike again.

"You will excuse us, sir, but we have actual work to do and if we are lucky enough to take some time off while in the real world, we'd rather not spend it babysitting obnoxious, intoxicated officers with no pride. Besides, if I may remind you, I still have almost 2 months of holidays I haven't been able to use yet, and I would very much like to do so before my fukutaicho days are over. Are you ready, Matsumoto?", suddenly asked the bespectacled woman with a serious expression on her face that told her friend that she was definitely burning inside. The 8th division taichou looked openly hurt and mortified, but Rangiku thought it best to just play dumb and concentrate on the fun part of their day.

"Sure, I just need to check a couple of things and I'll be ready to go, girl. I'm soooo looking forward to this!"

"Hmph! Typical…"

"Hey!", exclaimed Rangiku with her classical pout in place, at which even Kyoraku couldn't help laughing.

"Oh, Ran, you never change, ne?"

"Why would I? I'm not hiding anything. What you see is what you get, dear, and if you don't like it… then you're an idiot!", she replied gaily. Matsumoto gave her friend's boss a meaningful look he subtly returned, though not before directing a gloomy, brief glance at his severe assistant.

"We should get going, Matsumoto. Taichou, our travel claim has been approved by the budget committee, therefore there are no forms left to be submitted on that regard. Our accommodation details are on that report. We'll be back in less than a week if things go according to plan. Excuse me".

Nanao took her bags swiftly and walked outside the door without closing it behind her so that her friend could follow her, which she certainly did after excusing herself. A few minutes later, and far from earshot, Ise finally relaxed, sighed deeply, and slowed down a bit.

"Damn! That was quite a tirade, Nanao-chan. You're getting too good at exploding. Did Kyoraku and Ukitake go out last night on another of their "bloody Thursday outings" as my captain calls them?"

"Ha! Good one. Yes,", she said darkly, " as always. And then he came back to the division with an extra special bonus of a young, busty, unseated woman with no moral and, of course, no dignity".

"Bid idiot… He definitely refuses to see the whole picture, doesn't he? Was she still there?"

"… Of course, where else?"

"Sorry about that, my friend".

"Don't be. I think I've got the right solution in mind now. Nevertheless, I'll still need to leave my job".

"And request to be considered for the taichou's examination instead of waiting for their nomination? Don't do it, Nanao; it's too risky".

"But _your_ captain did it that way! I may not be a genius, but I'm about to reach my full bankai and I won't waste the opportunity. You know I can do it, and I know it too, damn it!", exclaimed Ise a little louder than she had meant. Rangiku felt a rush of pride flow through her veins at her friend's brave resolution.

"I do, Nanao-chan. But I also know how sensitive Central 46 is right now what with the Soutaicho's possible replacement and everything…, and you can be sure they'll ask for an explanation as well. That just wouldn't be the right way. No man is worth that kind of sacrifice. The only thing we need is a good strategy, you know? That fool has to realize that women aren't all desperate for him, and that he surely isn't the best one out there, got me firecracker?" Nanao couldn't help smiling weakly at the mention of her old nickname.

"You just give me this couple of days dear, and I'll have a plan ready, ok?", said Matsumoto half hugging her to emphasize her determination. Her friend sighed deeply.

"You're right; this isn't the right time to think about that. So, what's next? Have you brought any maps we can use to get to Karakura as fast as possible?", asked Ise changing the uncomfortable subject to focus on the task ahead of them instead.

"Well, we won't really need any. I know all the coordinates by heart due to my frequent missions down there, so I'm pretty confident I can lead us to Kurosaki´s town without delay. Did Unohana taichou managed to get us permission to use the senkaimon at such a short notice?"

"And without any type of special escort? Yes, she did. Actually,", added Nanao narrowing her eyes slightly, "that hell butterfly coming our way tells me that she wants us to leave right now".

As If in queue, Rangiku extended her hand automatically to let the jigokuchou proceed with its duty and, in an instant, the sliding doors opened.

"Guess this is it, isn't it Matsumoto?"

"Yes! Oooh, you'll love it, Nanao, trust me. No bosses, no paperwork, no worries, and lots of hot stuff to buy! Isn't this exciting?", enquired the taller shinigami with a bright smile on her face which, surprisingly, seemed to be contagious enough to cheer up her colleague, whose half-hearted smile had unusually turned into a full wicked one.

"No bosses… I have to admit it, Matsumoto; this really is kind of exciting".


	6. Chapter 6

5.

"Ichigo, get up already and get the door! It must be that geek, stuck-up boyfriend of yours coming to ask for some book back again!"

"Shut the hell up, Karin! And he's not my freaking boyfriend, for kami's sake!", replied a very angry, substitute shinigami while jumping down the stairs to take a shortcut to the door. When he opened it, a young man in glasses greeted him with a slight smirk on his face.

"Hope you haven't forgotten to finally put the notebook you borrowed from me a week ago in your backpack?", asked Ishida Uryu teasingly, one eyebrow arched high in obvious skepticism.

"Hi to you, too", responded Ichigo through gritted teeth. Not so subtly, though, he reached to check his backpack with his other hand for reassurance. The Quincy heir rolled his eyes coolly.

"Good morning, geek!", said Karin casually passing next to them.

"You know Karin, if you don't do something about that attitude; you won't be welcomed to spend Christmas together with my family when I have my own children".

"Ha! And who would be the poor mother, pray tell? 'Cause I can't really figure out who could possibly wish to take _you_ as a husband"

Ishida snorted at Karin's retort, causing Ichigo to glare at him.

"Well," –he insisted, not giving up on his now common argument with his rebellious sister- "it is not like I had to report my personal stuff to you; but in case you didn't know, I've been on lots of dates lately"

"Reeeally?", asked both his bad-tempered sibling and his impassive friend in unison.

As expected, a livid Ichigo turned around abruptly, deliberately bumping his rucksack against Ishida's shoulder to make his way out of the house without saying goodbye to Karin. She, on the other hand, just laughed derisively and left to join her younger sister, Yuzu, who was in the kitchen making pancakes for breakfast.

Outside of the house, the orange-haired young man forgot his friend and began walking at a great speed to let out his frustration.

"You know Kurosaki, I'm not planning to run behind you all the way to the campus. And, in case you have already forgotten, I'm still waiting for my notebook", pointed out Ishida while adjusting his glasses tiredly. A bit less infuriated, Ichigo slowed down his pace to let his old classmate catch up with him.

"It's not the first time you've been to my house, Uryu, so don't start pretending you're not aware of my … _issues_ with Karin".

"If I pretended, Kurosaki, I'd go along with your far-fetched stories about anxious women lining up to go on a date with you. Fortunately, I'm not as stupid".

"Ha! Thanks for the support".

Ishida beamed slightly.

"Don't try to teach me sarcasm, Ichigo. Besides, making up things like that won't help you change your sister's image of you. If you ask me, it will only-"

"I know, I know, I know. It will only make her think that I'm even more pathetic that I actually am, right?", said the taller teenager frustrated.

Ishida laughed more openly this time, however chose to stop in his tracks right before entering their campus, arms crossed over his chest, to let his friend open up.

"Uryu, I just… miss my life as a shinigami. Even if it was half a life, I could actually make a difference, help people".

"May I remind, Kurosaki, that you're on your way to becoming a doctor?"

"Yes, but that's what's been bothering me lately. I still got five more years to graduate; I don't feel like doing much for others right now. And I miss… , I really miss everything about it, you know?", he finished lamely with a far-away look that made his former rival's blood boil slowly.

"Everything, you say? Does that mean you're finally admitting _her_ absence affects you as well?", asked Ishida getting once more to the point where things always became complicated with his partner. In this occasion, however, Kurosaki Ichigo didn't say a word and just kept his eyes fixed on the raucous coming from the large group of people gathered ahead. Given the sudden change –or possible progress, to be more precise-, his friend conceded him a break, and decided to drop the subject momentarily, redirecting his attention to the increasing disturbance that awaited them near their campus' front doors.

"What's that all about?"

As if in queue, a familiar voice started calling them out.

"Kurosaki-kun! Ishida-san!". The voice belonged to their old classmate, Asano Keigo, who was rushing to meet them as fast as he could.

"Whatever it is, I'm afraid we won't be able to avoid it", whispered Ishida readjusting his glasses yet again in a clear sign of annoyance. Ichigo chuckled softly.

"What is it, Keigo? What's going on?"

After panting for several minutes, their friend finally spoke.

"Ichigo! You-your… friend, the one who visited you last time, she-she's back!", he said too excited to actually make sense. Kurosaki's face, however, went completely pale.

"Who is back, you say?", asked Ishida trying to save Ichigo from his own private emotional hell.

"Well, I don't really recall her name, " -at this point Uryu was definitely rolling his eyes in exasperation- "but I believe last time she, along with a weird group of guys, took our school by surprise, remember? Oh, she's so, so…"

"Wait, wait, wait. Breathe. Great, now that you have relaxed a bit, could you try to describe the person you're referring to without hyperventilating in the process? We can't get to see this woman from here", explained the Quincy half upset. Ichigo, on the other hand, had replaced his expression of utter confusion with a wide, brilliant smile nobody had seen in weeks.

".way!", he exclaimed, laughing his heart out.

"What?", asked Ishida disconcerted.

"Oooh! You've remembered her, haven't you, Ichigo? She's come back; and this time she has brought a beautiful-looking friend with her!", added Asano enthusiastically.

"I see. Kurosaki, please explain what this idiot is babbling about. My patience is running out".

"Haha, can't you see, Uryu? What kind of woman have you ever met capable of causing such commotion among men, eh? A hot woman usually surrounded by a weird-looking group of dangerous guys…"

"My, my, Ichigo. Talking about me behind my back before even taking the time to say hi is no way to treat a lady, you know?"

When Ichigo and Uryu turned their heads, Seireitei's most exuberant shinigami female officer greeted them with her best pose. Next to her, a curious yet very cautious Ise Nanao stood silently, waiting for the right moment to excuse herself, run to the nearest bathroom, and destroy the damn, slutty college uniform Matsumoto had chosen for them as supposedly adequate clothing to be used while in the Real World.

"_Adequate my ass"_, thought Nanao grimly after having confirmed first-handedly that her partner's concepts on clothing were entirely different compared to those of normal people.

"Rangiku-san! Nanao-san!", yelled Ichigo pleasantly surprised. "What are you two doing here? Where is the rest of the gang?", he enquired eagerly.

"We've come for another reason this time, Kurosaki", replied the Eighth Division fukutaicho calmly.

"That's right, Ichigo. And we're here alone, by the way".

"I… don't get it. Why have you come here, then? I thought you had required… assistance".

"Oh! No, no," -Matsumoto reassured him dismissively- "we're here on some SWA's business. Nothing life-threatening, you see?"

"SWA?", asked Keigo Asano slightly puzzled.

"Oh, it's our Sh-Sexy Women's Association, is it not, Nanao-chan?", answered again Matsumoto, winking at Ichigo and Uryu mischievously while Nanao cleared her throat to restrain herself from stepping on her friend's feet. They were attracting too much unnecessary attention from everyone.

"Ehem, what we definitely need your help with, Kurosaki," –she interrupted- "is in locating Orihime-san for us. We went to her house, but apparently she has moved out. Do you know what her current address is?"

"Inoue?", started Ichigo, immediately worrying about his ex-girlfriend.

"Well, we certainly have her address", replied Ishida noticing his friend's reaction. "She decided to move a few months ago to be closer to her university, however it isn't far from here. Actually, she's still within Karakura's jurisdiction. There really is nothing serious going on, is there Ise-san?"

"Sure. We just -"

"We just thought it would be fun to let her join us in our little break. You know, like a girls week out?", added Rangiku with a tell-tale innocent look on her face.

"That sounds great!", said Ichigo more relaxed. "Hope you have a good time together, then. She's missed you a lot".

"Oh, we will certainly have our fair share of fun, Ichigo-kun, just leave it to us".

…

"So, how much into our project are you planning to get that poor girl in, Matsumoto?", asked Nanao quizzically a few minutes after they had said goodbye to their human comrades. The redheaded shinigami laughed hard, but did not to reply.

"Matsumoto…", insisted Nanao warningly. Her tone though, was so subtly patronizing it made her friend laugh even harder for its similarity to her taichou's.

"Come on, Ise-chan", said Rangiku finally recovering her composure. "I know what you're thinking now, but corrupting such an unspoiled girl isn't my plan. By the looks of it, Orihime's love story with our dear Kurosaki-kun didn't have a happy ending. I'm sure you didn't miss his expression a while ago, ne? She definitely deserves some time between friends; especially if it is with more experienced women like us, don't you agree? We need to stick together!"

Nanao nodded her head and sighed. "Well, I guess you're right. At least nothing wrong can happen to her if I'm around".

"Hey! What are you insinuating, eh?"

"I'm not insinuating anything, Matsumoto; that's for people who fear being honest", retorted the Eight Division fukutaicho playfully.

"Oh, you're so mean to me", pouted Rangiku.

"Yeah, right. Now, going back to our discussion, what will we do with Inoue Orihime these days? Do you think it would be appropriate to take her with us to those… what did you call them? Sex shops, I think?"

"Of course!", exclaimed Matsumoto so excitedly she almost knocked an old lady in the middle of the street without even noticing. "Oh, don't glare at me like that, Nanao-chan. This young lady is not a high school student anymore, and I bet loosing up a bit will help her overcome her recent heartbreak".

Ise Nanao just rolled her eyes and smiled slightly at her friend's motivational speech.

"I hope you're right, Matsumoto. Because you do remember our current situation with Kusajishi-san, don't you?"

"Oh, please! That wasn't my fault at all! I never suggested Yachiru to transform herself into an exaggerated copy of me during our sessions. Besides, I assure you Orihime-chan won't turn out that way".

"Well, as I said Matsumoto, I hope you're right"

"Of course it will. Now, move it, grumpy! We have a girl to find and a few hours to get ready for our shopping spree tomorrow!", shouted Matsumoto immediately shunpooing away from her accomplice's rage at her taunt.

"_The hell",_ thought Ise Nanao with a small smile on her face. And with a quick look back to make sure there were no humans around, she disappeared into the distance following her crazy partner's shadow. "You better speed up, Matsumoto!", she yelled half-laughing. _"Grumpy my ass!"_


	7. Chapter 7

5.

"Onee-chan?"

"Ha-ha-hai!", stammered Isane Kotetsu at being caught in deep thoughts by her younger sister.

"What are you doing here, nee-chan? Daydreaming with tattooed-kun again?", asked the small third officer in a low voice while pinching Isane's arm lightly.

"Ouch! What? I'm not daydreaming, alright? And quit saying outrageous things like that out loud; it isn't proper coming from a seated officer."

"Calm down, nee-chan. No one would ever come to eavesdrop on us, really; people know better", finished Kiyone Kotetsu with an expression of fearless pride adorning her round face.

"Yeah, right…"

"I AM right. And in case you haven't noticed, I do respect Hisagi-san cause he's extremely professional and is my sempai… just like Rangiku-san, by the way."

"Precisely! Hisagi-san, my FRIEND, has finally begun dating the woman he's always longed for, who in turn happens to be a dear friend of us, too. Don't you think it is about time you let go of this romantic drama nonsense? Getting me involved in dirty rumors is the last thing I need now", begged a flustered Isane to her sister for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were that upset. What is it that's got you so tense, nee-chan. Is there's anything I can do for you?"

"Well…"

"You can trust me, Isane; this is the perfect time for me to help you. My taichou's just decided it is my turn to run the division's official errands this month, so I'm kind of free to go wherever you require me to", offered Kiyone more gently, kneeled in front of her sister in an attempt to comfort her. The white-haired shinigami hesitated for a moment, but ultimately gave in and smiled.

"Mmm, if there's no problem to you, I… I have to… do something for the SWA…"

"The SWA? That's what you're all stressed up, nee-chan? But that's great! If Unohana-san has confided you with some tough assignment for, you know, our ultra special secret project, you can absolutely count me in."

"Okay, then… I guess."

"Isane Kotetsu!"

"Fine, fine, fine! I'll tell you, alright. Sweet kami, I'm the oldest one here, and yet you keep-"

"…helping you out of your endless dilemmas?", interrupted yet again her younger sister now crossing her arms in a bored pose.

"I… know," -said the fourth division fukutaicho in a soft broken sigh- "it is just that mine is not exactly a tough mission, you know? To be honest, the only thing that's been holding me back from completing this simple task alone is more a matter of… pathetic, teenage embarrassment, than anything else. You see, all I've been asked to do is a survey."

"A survey?"

"Yes."

"I… don't get it. What can you be embarrassed of o-oh!"

"Exactly, this is not a common, administrative survey; it is a… a… sex-related, adult survey."

"Yes! That's more like it! Woohoo!"

"Can I go on?", said Isane annoyed, directing a futile glare at her sibling who simply nodded. "Anyway, I am to select a decent mix of both female and male officers, and pose really private questions to them to get some ideas our organizing committee needs for the project."

The youngest officer felt herself getting more animated by the minute; however, the intense blush on her sister's worried face convinced her to take the issue more seriously for both their sakes.

"Uhn, I see; now I understand why the lost expression. But, you can't miss the bright side of this, nee-chan: two heads will always work better than one, so there's no way we can fail. And, if you don't mind me suggesting something-"

"Ha! Like you could restrain yourself from it…"

"Hey, I heard that! Anyway, I was thinking that you should just take this chance to finally get rid of that cute shyness of yours."

"Mmmm, I appreciate your help, imouto, but I like myself this way."

"Nee-chan, don't take it the wrong way, okay? All your friends feel a great respect for you, and most of the girls here would give their zanpakutos to recover at least some of that natural sweetness you have. The only thing you need to move on, however, is to be more daring and to stop hiding away from the spotlight."

"Kiyone, don't start giving me reasons to regret having asked for your help…"

"Trust me, Isane. I don't want to see you daydreaming anymore; not even if you're having really awesome, hot, x-rated, never-before-seen sexual fantasies playing over and over in that pretty head of yours, understood?"

"Wha-what? Fa-fantasies with whom?", jumped the usually quiet officer in a high pitched voice that didn't sound like hers anymore, accidentally hitting her sibling in the chin.

"Ouch! I don't remember saying your clumsiness was cute, nee-chan!"

After a few minutes of shared laughter, both women stumbled to get themselves back in a straight position.

"So… I'll just have put myself in your hands and let you help me with this mission?", finally asked Isane a little more confident than she felt.

"That's right. You just give me a couple of weeks into this project, and you'll be a renewed fukutaicho!"

"Oh dear…"

"Haha, come here, Isanee-chan, and pass me those notes you've been carrying around with you to check what our association's pervert president is asking for so that we can prepare our questionnaire. This is going to be SO cool!"

X

X

X

"Okay, so now what?"

"Shh! Just be a little patient, Nanao-chan. Don't you see that cute boy down there is trying to steal our friends' heart while pretending to walk her to her apartment? This is so romantic!"

"You must mean YOUR friend, Matsumoto. As far as I remember, I have not been officially introduced to Orihime Inoue-san yet. Actually, if I recall correctly, you had indeed promised to introduce us in the past, but failed to do it in the end for having passed out drunk after the last war."

"Oops! Sorry about that, I-"

"Sure, sure. And about that cute boy you're referring to, I personally doubt this girl is interested in him at all. Even though I don't know her yet, she seems kind of uncomfortable from here. Perhaps it would be more reasonable to search nearby for some place to stay for the night before assaulting her as you had suggested."

"Hmph, I guess you're right there."

"Really? That's a first."

"No, I mean, she really doesn't seem to give a damn about that poor boy." Nanao rolled her eyes silently, already used to her colleague's well-honed skill to avoid listening to things she didn't agree with. She certainly needed to learn how to do it herself.

"Matsumoto…"

"Ok, ok, boss. If the girl is uncomfortable, then what we must absolutely do is, in fact, to… interrupt them right now!"

"Matsu-damn!"

"Orihime-chaaaan?", yelled the tenth-division fukutaicho while appearing out of nowhere to surprise her human friend and push her scared date to the side.

The young girl was shocked as hell at first, but the unique warmth of Rangiku's trademark hug caught up with her almost instantly. A slightly annoyed Ise Nanao nodded courteously at Orihime from behind waiting for the reunion scene to end.

"Oh, Matsumoto-san! How come you're here? And with a… friend?", enquired the young college girl in an attempt to deviate the spirited shinigami's attention from her.

"Yes! This time I've brought Ise Nanao-san with me. She's my friend… and colleague", added Rangiku with a wink.

"Really?", asked Orihime surprised, getting the message right away. "Well, nice to meet you, Nanao-san. Sato-san here is a very close friend of mine from college. He was escorting me home due to the late hour." The boy next to her suddenly reacted to the sound of his name after having stared shamelessly at the two beautiful women who had so inadvertently interrupted their conversation. His mind, though, took a few seconds more to register his classmate's subtle introduction.

"Oh! Yes, yes I am. Nice meeting you both. See you are long-time friends with Inoue-san?"

"Indeed!", replied a smiling Matsumoto while mentally laughing at the boy's temporarily blushing cheeks and lost expression, something she was all too used to.

"Oh, and you've come such a long way, now that I think about it", added Orihime slightly worried. "If you haven't got any reservations yet, would you like to stay at my place?"

"That would be great. Thank you", answered Nanao promptly.

"It's settled, then. Sato-san, thank you very much for being such a gentleman with me tonight, but I'm sure my friends here are in urgent need of food and rest to recover from their trip. In return though, can I owe you a lunch?", finished Orihime with a flawless smile that rendered his companion momentarily speechless.

"Sure!", he accepted with only too much enthusiasm. "Enjoy the weekend with your friends, Inoue-san, you deserve it. We'll have lunch together next week, then. Nice meeting you, ladies!", bid farewell the young boy before turning around and punching the air in silent triumph.

After he was gone out of earshot, however, the smile on Orihime's face faded, something her fukutaicho friend decided to point out.

"Oh, I recognize that expression very well, dear. We all have those dates, but you certainly handled it pretty well there. I'm so proud of you!"

"Yeah… the only problem is that it has become kind of a habit, really. But, never mind, I can't believe you are here! Is there anything wrong going on? Please say no."

"There's no need to worry, Orihime-san. Matsumoto and I came here on much less preoccupying affairs. This is actually just an unofficial visit, not a mission." Their hostess sighed in relief.

"I see. Is this like a holiday for you two, then?"

"Haha, nope. I mean, you could take it like that in a way, but, we would rather let you in all the dirty little details once inside your apartment. Besides, I'm starving!"

"Matsumoto, that's so rude!", chastised Nanao-san hitting her bouncy partner with her paper fan. Orihime just laughed, surprisingly a lot more relaxed than a few minutes before, and guided her unexpected visitors into her rented loft.

"Wow! See you're doing fine, Inoue-chan! This is absolutely charming!"

"Thank you, Rangiku-san. The owner is actually a close relative of one of my old school classmates. She offered me a special agreement for this place. It has the best view in the district, so I love watching the orange sunset from the balcony whenever I can; it brings back good memories… By the way, how did you get my address?", asked the girl with a melancholic tune anticipating the answer.

"I think it was Ishida-san who kindly gave it to us, Orihime-san; hope you don't mind", said Nanao politely, trying to avoid bringing up Kurosaki's name in front of their human ally.

"Oh, no! Not at all, Nanao-san. I have to admit I've been feeling a little lonely lately, so your company is exactly what I need; especially if there isn't any dangerous mission going on because my college exams have drained me completely."

"Not to worry, not to worry", replied the bouncy shinigami dismissively. "The only assignment we've got here is, believe it or not, pretty fun!"

"Assignment? So you do have work to do here?"

"That is correct, Orihime-san; nevertheless, Matsumoto is not referring to an official, work-related operation. We have only come here to-"

"We'll buy hot sex toys, magazines, and lingerie, and take them back with us to Seireitei!", blurted out the tenth division fukutaicho in her usual bluntness. The girl in front of them stared dumbstruck at them for a couple of seconds, looking from one woman to the other as if waiting for the joke to end.

"That is, in general terms, correct, Orihime-san. Although, it might seem ludicrous and quite unexpected to you, we've come here to get these… particular items that do not exist in our world as part of a bold project carried out by our Shinigami Women Association. As my colleague so effectively summarized it, we won't be doing anything dangerous during our stay, but if you do not want to be involved-"

"Shinigami Women Association?", asked Inoue after trying to take in what this recently-introduced, apparently composed shinigami had just explained to her in such a formal manner.

"Exactly!", answered her red-haired companion. "We have had it for centuries. Our male peers also have one, but theirs sucks. No respectable male officer would ever join it. Take my taichou, for example; he wouldn't become a member of that lame club even if they offered to treat him like an adult in return! Haha, my poor dear taichou…"

"Matsumoto… back on track, please"

"Right. So you see, Inoue-chan, we would love you to participate in this women-only fun weekend, what do you say?"

"Bu-but, I… I don't know anything about those things! I mean-"

"We understand, you don't have to feel obliged, Orihime-san."

"Hey, hey, don't be such a killjoy, Nanao. And you? What does it matter if you don't know a thing about that stuff, Orihime-chan? None of those things even exist for us yet, didn't we tell you?"

"Matsumoto-san, I don't know…"

"What don't you know, dear? Wouldn't you prefer to learn about all this stuff in the company of your girlfriends?"

"Well, I guess I'd rather-"

"We don't want to press you, do we Matsumoto?", asked Nanao sternly. "However, you'll be very welcomed to join us if you wish. We will start our preliminary research tomorrow."

Orihime Inoue remained silent and hesitant for a couple of seconds, but finally nodded at seeing both her guests smiling gently at her.

"Oh! If you're starting your research tomorrow, I guess I'll prepare a quick dinner for you two so that you can get some sleep tonight. Be right back!" And with that, the girl disappeared into the kitchen, after which the red-haired shinigami whispered confidently: "Oh, she's definitely in".


	8. Chapter 8

7.

SWA – Valentine's Poll (version for women)

1. What turns you on in a man?

2. Which part of the male anatomy catches your attention the most?

3. Which qualities do you think can tell you if a man is or could be a good lover?

4. What kind of lover do you prefer?

5. Where does your favorite sexual fantasy usually takes place? -You may mention up to 3 different locations.

6. What is your favorite sex technique?

7. What do you think our male peers lack to be considered as possible candidates?

8. Who do you think are the 3 sexiest captains and vice-captains in Seireitei? Please specify one important reason for each of them.

9. If you could see a secret side of these men, which one would you chose?

10. If you were a man, which fellow female shinigami do you think you'd like and why?

"Holy kami!", exclaimed Isane in a desperate whisper.

"What? Don't you like it, onee-chan? I can add a few more questions if you like, but we would have to send them as part of a supplementary poll since I've already taken the first batch of questionnaires to our SWA distribution bag."

"Eeeh? Are you telling me you've already sent copies of this poll to all our members?"

"No, of course not. I've only sent them to all non-seated female officers. Didn't we settle this yesterday?"

"I… think I fell asleep…"

"Oh, right, as always. Anyway, as a reminder, we agreed that we would leave our seated officers for later, so that we could send them the polls as part of their sexy packages."

"Sexy packages?", answered Isane with a puzzled look that amused her younger sister.

"Isane nee-chan! We had discussed that issue long before you took your nap, you know. Quit daydreaming already!"

"Okay, okay! I just need a reminder, that's all."

"Very well, then. Where were we? Oh, yes! The sexy packages are the ones we'll prepare with all the kinky stuff Matsumoto and Nanao will bring from the human world. We agreed on that because we can be sure our seated officers will provide better data if given a little… inspiration."

"Mmm, now I remember."

"Your welcome!", said Kiyone sarcastically.

"I know, I deserve the mock. I'm sorry."

"Forget it, Isane-chan; I'm used to your bad memory", dismissed the short officer casually. Her sister simply bowed her head a little and sighed.

"So… you basically finished the format all by yourself? I can only recall helping you with the first couple of questions."

"That's not really true, you know. I actually lost you in question number five."

"Number five? That's when I fell asleep, then."

"Sure, and you really gave that one a lot of thought. Maybe the medical center is indeed the best place to find a room, as everyone says…"

"What? Did I talk in my sleep?"

"Relax, I'm just joking! Nothing fun happened."

"So, I fell asleep and that's all?"

"Yeah, like a baby", assured her a half-bored, half-worried Kiyone with her arms crossed over her chest. When she was about to add something, however, an old male shinigami messenger interrupted them.

"Ehem, excuse me, which of you is officer Kotetsu-san?"

"Both. Who are you looking for?", asked the two sisters in unison.

"Oh, I see. I have a private correspondence bag for the fourth division fukutaichou, Kotetsu Isane-san."

"That would be me, then. Please leave it there."

The burly, old mailman obeyed, placed a big sack next to the door, and left as soon as he had arrived. Isane looked at it warily, but still decided to check the contents of the bag without delay. At realizing what it was, though, her mouth fell open.

"Ki-Kiyone?"

"Yes, nee-chan, what is it?", asked her sister apprehensively.

"When exactly did you say you sent the first batch of questionnaires?"

"Eeeh? I… I did it this morning. Approximately 5 hours ago. Why?"

"Well, it appears that your work has caught everyone's attention. These are the completed polls!"

"What? You got to be joking me now!"

"No, I'm not. Come take a look if you wish."

"Wow! This is… we did it!", exclaimed Kiyone full of excitement, jumping up and down.

"Yes! Yes we… wait a second. Why did the package come to me?", asked Isane confused.

"Well, that's because I gave you all the credit and included your name on the instructions at the end of the poll."

"Oh, but you shouldn't."

"Why not? This is your assignment. Besides, that way your reputation will go up, so it's all part of my plan to change your image for good." The taller shinigami hesitated.

"Hey, don't worry, okay? I'll watch your back. Now, back to business, onee-san; we have a lot of fun reading to complete!"

XXXXXXXX

"Moshi-moshi!"

"Matsumoto?"

"Taichou?"

"Hai, Matsu-"

"Oh, taichoooou!"

"Damn, Matsumoto! How many times do I have to beg you not to scream at the receiver? I already have a headache, you know?"

"Gomen, taichou!", whispered Matsumoto half-excited and half-apologetic, "I just couldn't help myself."

"Can you ever?", retorted a tired, but bemused voice from the other end of the line.

"Mmm, not really, no. "

An exasperated sigh could be heard from the tenth division captain, Hitsugaya Toushiro, nevertheless Matsumoto could almost feel him smiling softly right after.

"Lucky me…"

"Haha, very funny, taichou. With your sarcasm back, I assume you're better, nee?"

"I'm getting better, Matsumoto, but I'm still recovering."

"Then you're not calling from the office?"

"No, I'm not in the office, Matsumoto. And, as I've just been told, it seems that neither are you."

"Oh, right…"

"Yes?"

"Well, you see… the thing is-"

"Oh, bad sign. Just tell me if I should worry, Matsumoto."

"Eh-what? Noooo!"

"Matsumoto…"

"But I'm not doing anything wrong, taichou. I swear I'm just helping the fourth division with some errands in the human world."

"Fourth division? Did Unohana asked for your assistance?"

"Yes! And if you need additional guarantees, let me tell you that I'm not alone on this. Nanao-san has also come here to help me out." A small silence followed.

"Ise Nanao is with you?"

"Hai!"

"In the human world?"

"Certainly!", assured Matsumoto playing her best card: the Nanao-trust card. She knew her boss too well to ignore that he felt the upmost respect for her friend -mainly because she had to put-up with Kyoraku taichou, of course. After a few seconds consideration though, he took her aback, as usual.

"Does this errand of yours have anything to do with the Shinigami Women Association, Matsumoto?"

"E-eh?" A loud noise of broken china erupted from the redheaded's end accompanied by a short tirade of colorful insults.

"I'm still here, Matsumoto."

"Shit! Oh, sorry, taichou. My ice-cream cup fell to the floor!"

"I guessed as much from your eloquence."

Rangiku laughed openly, not caring about making up excuses at this point.

"Matsumoto, listen to me, please. I'm not interested in the details; in fact, I'd rather you didn't tell me anything about the SWA's latest scheme, okay? My only concern now is that whatever you do, you won't bring any problems to the division, understood?"

"Crystal, taichou", confirmed Matsumoto Rangiku with as much seriousness as she could convey.

"Can I trust you won't screw up our reputation, Matsumoto?"

"Ha! As if that were possible." This time, it was Hitsugaya's turn to laugh.

"That's all, then. I have to undergo a few examinations now, so I'll be contacting you again tomorrow, Matsumoto. You better be available."

"Okay, tai-Oh! Before I forget, were you able to talk with Byakuya taichou? He had been asking for you and I told him about your condition."

"Oh, so he went to you, too? That guy, really…"

""Come on, taichou, give him a break. Can't you see that he misses you? Who else would actually be able to get his humor –or lack thereof-, eh?" Hitsugaya snorted.

"Right, whatever. Anyway, answering your question, Matsumoto: yes, we could speak yesterday. Thank you."

"Wait, yesterday? But he'd been looking for you all last week-"

"Well, that's because it took him longer to find me. I was transferred to another medical centre two weeks ago. This one is more… private."

"Private, where? Why didn't you tell me, taichou?"

"I didn't think it would be cautious to worry you; especially now that we're being been closely supervised."

" I know but, is the treatment really helping you?"

"I'm definitely better than when I left, Matsumoto. The only thing I need you to do is give me more time to fully recover from… this."

"Mmmm, so when are you coming back?"

"When I'm discharged, Matsumoto. I have to go now."

"Alright, alright. Happy thoughts, taichou! It's all you need to get better, okay?"

"I'll do my best, Matsumoto, as long as you don't mess things up."

"I'll do my best too, then! Bye, taichou!"

"Hey! Wha-oh, whatever. Bye, Matsumoto."

Matsumoto hanged up the phone with a big smile on her face, however it disappeared almost instantly. Her captain was obviously not interested in discussing his health condition over the phone, which worried her; and to make matters worse, she wanted to help her comrades with the SWA's most important project ever, but was obligated to do it without involving neither her division nor her own taichou. The dilemma was getting more real and more complicated by the second.

"Worried?", asked Nanao looking at her colleague's concerned expression.

"Mmm, kind of…"

"One thing at the time, Matsumoto. I'll help you figure out a way to help Hitsugaya taichou out of this once we're back in Seiretei."

"I know, I know. But there's also the calendar issue itself. Do you think our members will actually be interested in seeing my taichou naked? He might be cute, but he's still a child, for kami's sake!"

"Looks like a child, Matsumoto. He's been around for long enough to be considered as such."

"It's not what I'm trying to say, Nanao-chan!"

"Matsumoto, calm down. I've been pondering over this and, it is because your taichou IS an adult that something like this could deeply hurt his pride-"

"And he'd end up hating me forever; that's for sure…"

"That is the worst scenario, Matsumoto, but I promise you we'll think of a way to save him, okay? Al least YOUR taichou doesn't deserve that kind of humiliation. Besides, as you just mentioned, although it may sound somewhat cruel, Hitsugaya-san's appearance might indeed be a good argument to request his removal from this project."

"Yeah, right, though we cannot forget that the calendar needs a minimum of twelve pictures in total."

"True, but we cannot afford losing our focus now that we have a task in hand and very little time to finish it."

"Task? Oh, the sex shops! Where can we find them?"

"Orihime-san is on it. She's looking some up on her… computing?"

"Computer! Yes, my taichou loves those. Oh, taichou…!"

"Matsumoto…"

"And you sound almost like him! Oh, okay, Nanao-chan, don't give me that look; I swear I'll stop mopping this instant. Is Hime-chan coming with us?"

"She said she would go, at least to give us directions."

"Yes! Didn't I told you, Nanao? She's given in!"

"I wouldn't be so sure. In my opinion, she may not be ready, Matsumoto."

"Nanao-chan, there is no such thing as not ready when it comes to learning. Her only obstacle is just pure embarrassment, and there's no better cure than this."

"Whatever…"

_Three hours later…_

Soft instrumental music could be heard inside the exclusive porn shop, elegantly decorated with expensive furniture and silk curtains. The only person in charge of the sales at such an early hour was a mature, gorgeous woman dressed in Armani who turned out to be the administrator. She greeted the three young women before her with great enthusiasm.

"Good morning, ladies. May I help you?"

"Yes, please. I'm Rangiku, and these two are my closest friends, Ise and Inoue. We are here because we need a considerable variety of sexy items so that we can show them to the rest of our friends."

"I see. Are you hosting some kind of bachelorette party?"

"Exactly! But we need to have everything ready because we don't have much time. The wedding will be in two weeks", added Orihime quickly at sensing confusion coming from both her companions.

"Well, that I can do for sure. Come with me please. Although it might not be evident since everything here is partly covered to avoid any sensitive, underage customers sneaking up on us, we have the best collection of sexy items, as you called them. Each of the four doors you can see from here takes you to rooms filled with different accessories and garments you'll certainly find useful. My selling team won't arrive until past tea-time, so I'll give you a special tour."

"Oooh, that would be fantastic. Thank you!"

"My pleasure, eh… Rangiku, is it?"

"Yes!"

"Well, Rangiku, ladies, without further ado, let me lead you to our first room: the green room."

Matsumoto, despite being the most excited, decided to let Nanao and Orihime in first to give the latter some confidence. Once in, however, everything they could have been thinking before entering instantly disappeared. Right after crossing the threshold, the three women were all greeted with an exquisite mixture of aromatic candles and bubbles, baskets filled with exotic fruits, a library of adult books and videos, and a glass case with a wide variety of condoms –which, of course, none of the shinigami present could identify.

"Oh, my…", said Orihime breathlessly grabbing one of the porn videos closest to her.

"Mmm, quite explicit, isn't it?", asked Ise Nanao with an expression of total seriousness, though her eyes told she was clearly repressing a growing blush.

Matsumoto, on the other hand, rushed immediately to where they were to have a look at the object in question.

"Wow, it looks so real!", she exclaimed excited.

"Well, that's part of our extensive collection of porn movies. Both couples and single people buy them to spice up their lives a bit.

"And the books?", asked Nanao while adjusting her glasses to regain her composure.

"Our books are, as you already pointed-out about our videos, quite explicit as well. Nevertheless, I personally believe many of these books can be even more graphic and erotic than the movies as they speak directly to the reader's imagination; and imagination, as you must know, is the best tool we've all got when it comes to sex."

Both Nanao and Matsumoto nodded in silent agreement. At the sound of the word "sex", however, the video Orihime had been holding fell to the floor.

"Oh! I'm deeply sorry. I'll put it back in its place."

"No need to apologize, dear", answered the administrator kindly.

"Well, to be honest with you, this is the first time any of us has been to a shop like this", clarified Matsumoto to help Orihime out.

"Is it, really? Never mind, then. I'm honored to be the one you've chosen to guide you through this new experience; I guarantee this won't be your last visit to this sex shop."

"Oh, I'm already sure of it", said the tenth division fukutaicho with great enthusiasm. Alice smiled pleased.

"And you haven't seen the best yet. So, do you have any questions regarding this room?"

"Your list of prices would be of great help for us", replied Nanao with her geek façade back on.

"Sure, I'll give it to you at the end of this little tour. I generally prefer the clients to see all our merchandise before making any decisions."

"Sounds fair. What's next, then?"

"Well, Rangiku, that would be the pink room. Please follow me."

The trio walked expectantly behind Alice towards the room placed right in front of the shop's circular lounge. At reaching the room's door, though, their guide announced what was about to come.

"Very well, girls. The room that you're about to enter will most likely be the most important for your party as you'll find inside a full exhibition of our exclusive female sex toys."

"Fe-female?", asked Orihime; all color now gone from her delicate features.

"Exactly, but don't worry, you'll get the idea pretty soon. Voilá!"

**Author's note: **

Well, hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did writing it –I love the way dialogues reflect a character's personality far better than any cold description. I'll try to update soon, so don't worry. In the meantime though, I'd be very pleased to receive your comments on this, my first ever fanfic. Despite the fact that I do not reply to all comments, I do read them all from my email account. Cheers, and a great day to you all! ;-D


	9. Chapter 9

7.

"Can you confirm the clarity of this transmission, Unohana taichou?"

"Sure, Nanao-san. I can both see you and hear you very well, and I believe all the members present tonight do as well."

"Great, I'll call Matsumoto, then."

"No need, Nanao-chan, I'm right here!", announced the tenth-division fukutaicho from behind her friend, making her jump slightly.

"That's very good, Rangiku-san. By the way, thank you for suggesting this… long-distance communication for us. What did you say it was called?"

"Oh, it's a teleconference. My taichou loves using it every time we come. "

"I see. As expected from Toushiro, though. Anyway, should we get started, then? Please confirm if everything is ready."

"Yes, Unohana taichou; we may start with the meeting now."

"Very well. Since we don't have much time, I have only gathered our association's senior members to discuss some points that need to be defined as soon as possible so that we can proceed with our project. Nanao-san, Matsumoto-san, could you give us a quick brief on what you've been doing in the human world?"

"Definitely! Nanao-san and I have been extremely busy trying to get our part of the job done, but we can assure you all that what we have found here will, most definitely, blow everyone´s minds when we return to Seireitei."

"Indeed?"

"Yes, Madam President. What Matsumoto-san says is correct. To be more specific, we have been able to purchase an… ample variety of peculiar items we'll be able to use to reach our first target"

"Mmm, many targets, actually", whispered Matsumoto naughtily from the corner of her mouth, making her friend blush furiously.

Unohana taichou smiled satisfied, almost as if she had heard the redheaded's comment as well.

"Sorry to interrupt but, could you tell us what exactly you've been able to get there and what is its purpose? I'm not really following you guys, and I was expecting to see some naked asses by the end of this month!" A choir of laughs erupted immediately.

"Girls, please. Soifon-san, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but we cannot act rashly. The plan is simple: we need to prepare the male officers before taking further actions. As such, I have asked a few of you to do some tasks on my behalf to make this works."

"To put it simple, Soifon-chan: please see here. Ladies, behold a fine example of what we're collecting down here." To Nanao's shock, Matsumoto took an impressive, realistic vibrator from its box, and showed it to the camera. The reaction was totally worth it. After a few seconds of confusion, bewildered realization came into play, giving way to even more raucous than before.

"Haha, nice! So tell us, Matsumoto-sempai, do those work?", asked Yachiru with a mischievous smile on her face. Rangiku just laughed along and softly arched a brow at her pupil in an extremely suggestive manner.

"Well, thank you for the demonstration Matsumoto-san. As the rest of you may have already deduced, the commercialization of those items will certainly create the perfect scenario for us to convince our male seated officers to pose for the first calendar."

"What, just like that?", asked Rukia incredulously.

"Of course! Remember we haven't got to the taichou's stage yet; these are our colleagues we're talking about. None of them will even care about the way we see them unless we get their attention!", replied Kiyone Kotetsu fully charged and convinced, as always.

"Mmm, that might be right. The idiots from my division wouldn't give a damn about anything that's not related to fighting and competitions", affirmed Yachiru with certain disdain.

"So you understand now, don't you girls? We'll get them to do it for free. And to make sure the job is nicely done, I also gave Isane-san here an interesting task. Could you talk to us about it, please?"

"Su-sure, taichou!", answered the tall, white-haired officer slightly taken aback and nervous. A look from her sister, however, encouraged her to go on.

"Anyway, my task was to prepare and distribute a poll among our female unseated officers to classify and identify what our potential customers… expect from our project."

"Oh, sure… there aren't too many women within my division, but I do recall hearing about a hot poll while patrolling near the showers…", mentioned Yachiru, her interest increasing little by little.

"A poll? And only for unseated officers? But I haven't received anything!"

"Oops! Sumimasen, Kuchiki-san! It's just that I keep forgetting that you're not really a seated officer. Gomen!", apologized Isane completely flustered.

"Oh! That's really not a big deal. I'm just curious about it. I love polls! They are pretty popular down in the human world, as well as comics!", said Rukia eagerly.

"Well, if that's so… the poll was basically focused on women's tastes with regards to men and, ehem, sex."

"Oh, dear…", whispered Hinamori from the farthest corner of the room, while Yachiru snickered at her openly.

"That's so cool!", exclaimed Matsumoto totally into the conversation.

"Really? Well, we did get some pretty useful tips on what we can do…"

"Right, then. That's exactly what I was expecting", said Unohana taichou appreciatively. "I believe you were able to retrieve a list of the sexiest male officers –which also includes several of the captains- weren't you?"

"Ye-yes, yes we did taichou, I mean, Madam President."

"Alright. Please give us the names of our most desired male colleagues, Isane. We need, at least, twelve seated officers for the first calendar."

"Sure. Do you want me to name them in any order?"

"Yes!", answered all the women present in unison expectantly, even Ise Nanao.

"Okay, okay. I'll begin with the least popular officers, then…", announced Isane trying to take in as much air as she could to finish the hard part fast. "Here they are: Omaeda Marechiyo, Akon, Yamada Hanatarou, Iba Tetsuzaemon, Iemura Yasochika, Takezoe Koukichirou, Kira Izuru, Kotsubaki Sentarou, Ayasegawa Yumichika, Madarame Ikkaku, Abarai Renji, and… Hisagi Shuuhei."

Before leaning to watch the rest of her friends nodding and smiling evilly, Matsumoto's eyes fell momentarily on Isane's painfully embarrassed visage for a couple of seconds, and a pang of guilt hit her uncomfortably.

"Well, well, well… that's a pretty accurate list, I must say", approved Yachiru amused.

"Accurate? But… Kira-san…"

"Oh! I'm really sorry, Momo-chan, but although he didn't come first, our clients have voted, and you must share him with the audience. Not that he's my type in any way, though", added Kiyone jokily to calm Hinamori down.

"It's no big deal, Momo! You've already seen him naked, haven't you? He's your husband and all. This won't change anything."

"That's true, girls. This is something that must be done in order to go through with the next part of our project, so those whose partners might end up exposing themselves, have to be completely for it, okay?", clarified Unohana Retsu in a serious tone. "Do you agree, ladies, that you'll carry on with this project? Because if you are, we will need you to get them out of their wits in the next two weeks."

After a small silence, all the female officers in the room agreed without major hesitation or discussion. Matsumoto Rangiku could see Hinamori Momo's face go as pale as the moon, and couldn't help feeling sympathetic for her.

"That's great, girls. Now that there is no turning back, we need to start planning a strategy."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A couple of hours had gone by swiftly, but the more Ise Nanao tried to relax, the less she could. Their shopping spree the day before had already left her remorsefully aroused, but the mention of their colleagues' names that morning had deeply set her mind in full speed. Images that seemed to come from other persons' fantasies had began to assault her, and was driving her crazy. And, as always, Matsumoto had made matters worse by shamelessly suggesting that the three of them saved that night –_tonight_- to perform some _quality tests_ on a few of the products they had purchased to confirm they worked, which had thrown her into an even deeper sea of despair.

At first, though, she hadn´t felt alone in this misery. After almost passing out during their sex shopping tour, Inoue Orihime had positively trembled when her friend had proposed this experiment as cheerfully as a picnic on a Sunday morning. Nevertheless, to everyone's amazement, it was Orihime who ended up running these _tests_ on her own before they even got to do it. And how did they know?, one may ask. Very simple. They found it out when, as soon as they finally finished unplugging all the stuff they had used for the teleconference that morning, the sudden quietness of the apartment allowed them to listen a series of muffled moans that, surprisingly, came from the other side of the girl's locked door. No one had entered, and one of their purchases had disappeared. She had to admit however, that what she and Matsumoto had overheard that afternoon, had undoubtedly stirred a flame inside of her that just wouldn't go away. It didn't matter how much she persuaded herself that it was beneath her, or that it wouldn't replace what she really wanted; her body felt the need to succumb to that temptation.

And why not, really? Matsumoto hadn't wasted any time in chasing their shopping bag and running to her bedroom barely a minute after their… _discovery_. She simply ran and shut her door with a wide smile on her face, not before whispering an annoying "I told you!" to her, of course.

So there she was: lonely, horny, angry, and excited; a definite muddle of unwanted feelings that needed to be let out one way or another. Perhaps she had to take in what their association's President had stated as part of their soon-to-come selling strategy: _Which is better? To share your bed with the wrong guy and get hurt, to feel unwanted and alone, or to enjoy yourself without affecting others_? It was so frustratingly true. She was in love, but it only caused her pain; and maybe, only maybe, this could help her move on and wait until the jerk in question took time to wake up and smell the coffee –instead of his cheap sake.

Without further ado, Nanao-san caught the first thing she got out of their tempting bag, opened it, and read the instructions carefully.

_Well, as Matsumoto would say, "come on, this seems like fun; let's roll!_"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10. - The teasing strategy

"What did you just say?"

"Mmm, nothing really. Besides, it's not as if I gave a shit, so forget it, okay baldy-kun?"

"Baldy? Hey! Damn, Kusajishi! I'm a taichou already, you know?"

"Oooh, right! Sorry, I keep forgetting. It's baldy taichou, then. See ya!"

"That's more like-ehh? Fuck!", snarled Ikkaku now incredibly red with anger, and gripping his zanpakutou in utter frustration.

"Leave her, Madarame. She's too fast…, even for you, _taichou_", said Yumichika half-amused, half-scathingly.

"Oh, don't start giving me hell, okay? It was decision to sit the test; it's done!"

"I know, I know. Though Hitsugaya taichou shares part of that decision with you, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, he does; but I did screw it up back in fake Karakura", admitted the recently-promoted, fifth-division captain with a sigh, though still not taking his eyes off the horizon into which his former division's fukutaicho had just disappeared. His old partner simply shrugged, but remained silent.

"Not even you can say otherwise, eh? Guess, he told me what I had needed to hear for a long time, just as Iba did right after I was crushed. I swore that I'd give my life for Zaraki taichou, and I still believe I would, but I have people who depend on me now."

"Does that mean you've given up on fighting him?"

"No, not at all!", promptly replied Ikkaku with an evil smile on his face.

"That's enough for me, then."

"Is it, really? 'Cause I'm fucking tired of you annoying me 24/7!"

"Haha, well, I wouldn't mind if you stopped acting like a bloody teenage girl with a crush whenever you're in front of the cold kid, you know?", mocked the narcissistic officer without losing a beat.

"Oh, shut your hole, you moron! The guy's been a taichou for all his life, so I gotta show him and Zaraki that I'm worth before facing them or anyone else."

"So, in the meantime, Matsumoto and I will keep laughing at you VERY hard."

"Fine! Do as you wish, I'm just being grateful."

"Then you'll beat both their asses anytime soon?"

"Sure! Haven´t you listened to me? That's the plan!"

"Great. Then I'll keep annoying you so that you don't lose your focus AGAIN, okay?"

"I won't… though this teasing is getting serious, you know? Damn Kusajishi, came here this morning to steal supplies-"

"Sugar, you mean?"

"Yeah, tons of candies; and the monster ate them all right before my eyes! Disgusting, really; but anyways, all the while she kept jabbering about some fucking poll results they've made among the women in Seireitei that assured male officers lacked sex drive, and were potentially bad, you know, in the bag-"

"You mean bad in the _sack_?", asked Yumichika rolling his eyes.

"Oh, yes, that's what I said."

"No, you didn't, ignorant piece of taichou!"

"Okay, fine! Whatever, the point is that she went on and on teasing about how we know nothing about that stuff, and how they were sure our now our, you know, ʻzanpakutouʼ, were all limp and unskilled!", protested Ikkaku affronted.

"Mmm, quite a mouth she's got, eh? Guess it must be all that time she's been spending trying to follow Matsumoto's steps", dismissed Yumichika somewhat bored.

"But what about the poll?"

"What poll?", interjected Hisagi Shuuhei, joining their conversation.

"Hi, HIsagi. The idiot here has just fallen into one of Yachiru's games to tease him, that's all."

"I don't think this one's a game, Yumichika. The other day, I caught a few of my female students filling out a very… disturbing poll during their break."

"You did?", asked both friends in unison, completely shocked at the revelation.

"Well, yes. And though Kiyone-san came just in time to take one of those polls away from me, I was able to read some of the questions, you know?"

"Damn! So you couldn't get a hold on any of them?"

"No, it actually took me some time to take in what this so called _sexy poll_ was all about."

"Oh, great! Just what we needed, another virgin in the gang!", exclaimed Yumichika now quite enraged, making both his friends jump uncomfortably.

"Hey! That was uncalled for, you know? And you can't be sure I am-"

"Oh, of course I can, Madarame, so cut the crap."

"No, no guys. It's not that I was in shock about reading about things like that, which in general isn't what one expects during working hours, it's what I recognized right before Kiyone intervened!"

"What did you read, Shuuhei?", asked Ikkaku in anticipation.

"Well, I didn't have time to register what the question was about, but I did recognize our… names on it", finished the also brand-new captain with a concerned expression.

"Wait, YOUR names, or OUR names?", demanded Yumichika.

"Our names, actually"

"Fuck!"

"This is not good…"

"What, what is not good, Ayasegawa?"

"Well, right before you came, Yachiru came by to upset Madarame, as usual, but this time he says she kept babbling about some poll results that concluded men in Seireitei lack sex drive and are bad lovers."

"What? Oh, I'm doomed! Matsumoto will never give herself to me after she hears this!"

"So it was true that you and Matsumoto haven't… damn! Your relationship is really in the gutter, man. At least we have valid excuses for the lack of sex!"

"Speak for yourself, Madarame; I've never had trouble getting the right attention, or at least not until now. And putting your failed affaire aside Shuuhei, don't you think this bad reputation can affect us all, as a matter of fact? This isn't just about you!"

"Okay, okay, so… what's next?"

"Mmm, I'd say we wait to see how far this rumor can really go, and then… we take some extreme actions."

From a tall roof not too far away from the trio, the pink-haired menace punched the air in success. _"Poor, gullible men; all that reiatsu can't replace a good set of balls. Gotcha!"_

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Wakey-wakey, girls! I've ordered breakfast today! Don't make me go to you, now", said a cheerful Matsumoto Rangiku in a sweet, sing-song voice the carried around the apartment. As the minutes went by, her _comrades in arms_ started exiting their rooms to join her in the kitchenette. Their young hostess was the first to arrive.

"Oh, Orihime-chan!", exclaimed Matsumoto after engulfing her friend in a bear hug. "How did you sleep last night?"

"Oh, ve-very well, thanks", she answered half-blushing, though she didn't catch Matsumoto's knowing smile due to the sudden entrance of their third companion: an abnormally sleepy Ise Nanao.

"Oh, my! I won't even ask if you slept fine, Nanao-chan; you look like you couldn't get enough!", declared Matsumoto so pointedly, that Orihime almost choked on French toast. Nanao just narrowed her eyes menacingly, shoot a death glare at the busty shinigami, and took a sit in front of the flustered college student.

"I can assume you slept well too, then? Otherwise you wouldn't wake up at this ungodly hour, Matsumoto."

"Oh, you assume correctly, my dear", answered Rangiku nonchalantly. "I had such a _satisfying_ evening I couldn't help sleeping like a baby, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I think it wouldn't be wrong to deny it, would it Orihime-san?", asked Nanao smiling softly at Inoue. The girl was coughing incessantly at this point, but eventually calmed down and looked sheepishly at her friends.

"How did you… did I…?"

"Oh, well. Let's just say we're glad you're having fun with our little project, Orihime-chan. When we first arrived we were worried we might only make you feel uncomfortable, but we've crossed that road now, haven't we?", said Matsumoto finally sitting at the head of the table with them and squishing Inoue's hand, making her relax a little. "And I guess I speak for all when I say that this has been an extremely _pleasurable_ experience!", she added enthusiastically, causing both Nanao and Orihime to laugh openly.

"Well," said Nanao, almost crying with laughter, "I definitely agree, Matsumoto."

"Yeah? That's great! And you, Orihime-chan?"

"Uhm… well, I could-"

"Oh, please, you don't have to act all prim and proper with us, you know? Besides, after those hot moans we heard yesterday, we can pretty much say you had an okay time!", said Matsumoto cheekily.

"What? But you said I didn't-"

"Oh, no-no. I said we were glad at it, that's all. You, on the other hand, provided us with enough encouragement to go on as planned."

"It's cool, Orihime-san", assured Nanao totally composed, "we all did our homework yesterday, so none of us has anything to be ashamed of."

"Oh! And speaking about homework, I need you to accompany me to that great store again today to buy more stuff."

"You need more?", asked Inoue completely astonished.

"Haha, this is not for me, remember Orihime? It's for our project. And now that we have already tested the… usefulness of these products, we can safely purchase a whole lot of them."

"Oh, right… and how much is that?"

"Well, Orihime-san, considering that Unohana taichou ordered Matsumoto and I to buy as many as needed to trigger a sexual revolution in Seireitei, I would say we'll be buying as much of those items as we can with the money we were given."

"Wow! And Seireitei is so huge!"

"Yes! And now that you mention that word, I'll need you to help me further with these tests before going back to that shop."

"What? Oh, you're right. We haven't tested all…", admitted Nanao in a defeated tone.

"Yep! And we need to make sure which ones are more, let's say _effective_, so that we can make a good investment."

"But how many more do we have to… _test_?", asked Inoue concerned.

"We bought around ten products last time, so it'd be like two more for each of us", calculated Ise Nanao while looking at the clock.

"Perfect! So we have about two hours to test them and get ready; piece of cake!", said Matsumoto excitedly, drinking her juice in one gulp, standing up, and shunpooing upstairs to the loft's second floor. "See you back here at 1pm, ladies. Have fun!"

Inoue just remained speechless looking at the delicious meal in front of her, though without any appetite left.

"Are you okay, Orihime-san?"

"Well, yes but… yesterday, when I, you know, tested that thing… I couldn't feel any real pleasure…, not without…", but before she could complete the sentence, tears were welling up in her huge ayes.

"Oh, don't cry, Orihime-san."

"I don't want to, but yesterday I couldn't come; I couldn't until I thought of him!", she said in a desperate whisper. Ise immediately rushed to her side to hug her, but didn't know what to say.

"Inoue-san, it's okay if you don't want to go on with this game of ours. If it hurts you to remember the times you and Kurosaki-"

"We never did it."

"Wh-what?"

"Ichigo never wanted to do it, because deep down he knew I wasn't the one", she finished lamely, sobbing on Nanao's shoulder.

"Oh… I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"It's not your fault, Nanao-san", said Orihime wiping her tears away with her sleeve. "Besides, it's not as if I were still a virgin."

"You're not?", asked Nanao surprised by the unexpected declaration.

"No. I gave myself to a friend some time after we broke up… but this is a new start for me, you know? I got to be strong. That's why I moved here, and that's why I'm happy you two came here to push me forwards", she said with a resigned smile on her features, though her eyes were still puffy and willing to cry more.

"I see… just don't forget that you can count on us, okay Inoue-san? We haven't known each other for too long, but I can assure both Matsumoto and I know what a heartbreak is, and to be honest with you, I'm here to recover from one."

"You are?", asked Orihime now worried for her. Nanao had to admit Matsumoto was right when she said this girl had the kindest heart she had seen.

"Well, I've been in love with my division's taichou for years, but nothing has ever happened."

"And why is that? Is there another woman?"

"Yeah, about a whole legion of them, actually. During all this time, I've seen –and even heard him- go from one woman to another, and spending the rest of his time basically wasted from the explosive combination of sex and sake on his veins."

"For kami's sake! How can you love someone like that, Ise-san?"

"Hmph! Because despite the fact that he's a major ass who can't live without seducing every woman he sees, he… he's the best friend a person can have. He's wiser than he looks, unbearably funny, and has this astounding ability to keep his cool and make you feel safe, even if the world is falling to pieces and you can't stand on your feet anymore."

"Wow! Has that ever happened to you?"

"Yes. Back when the Soutaicho had approved the execution of Rukia… I think I realized I loved him the day he confronted him."

"I… know what you mean. I'd love him, too."

"You think so? You'd have to make a frustratingly long line, in that case. Though, none of those naïve girls really love him. Foolish, lazy hero… "

The two women sat in silent understanding for a while, until the noise of a distant shower woke them from their thoughts.

"Damn!", exclaimed Nanao checking the time. "We have just one hour left!"

"Time to get started, then?"

"Yes, or Matsumoto will end up running all the tests by herself, you know?"

"You think so?"

"It's Matsumoto we're talking about, Inoue-san. She cannot be predicted, but is always up to something. And if you don't keep up, you miss the fun."

"Oh… see you, then!", said Orihime back in her cheerful self, before quickly rushing to her room.

"Haha, and who's depressed now, eh? Damn…"


	11. Chapter 11  Of flashbacks & rumors

Chapter 11.-

"Matsumoto-san, Nanao-san, welcome back!"

"Oh, hi! Thank you, Kiyone-chan. How's everything?", asked Rangiku curiously.

"Extremely well, I must say", answered the optimistic shinigami, immediately lowering her voice so that no one but the two women next to her could overhear, "we actually became aware that the Shinigami Men Association has scheduled an urgent meeting to discuss the rumours on our poll!"

"Really?", enquired Nanao sceptically, while sharing surprised looks with Matsumoto.

"Yes! Though, we have to give a lot of the credit to Kusajishi-san. She got to the men in her division so fast, it was like an unstoppable wave of shock among them", declared Kiyone in awe, her eyes bright with hope.

"Haha, you don't have to be that modest, Kiyone-chan; we know very well that you assisted our still-very-naive Isane-san with the poll homework. You certainly didn't leave any loose ends, did you?"

"Mmm, I just had my share of fun while helping my sis. By the way, now that you're back, will you need any help with the _special packages_ that are to be sent to all our VIP members?"

"Well, now that you mention it, we finished the preparation of the packages right before leaving to avoid any delays, but we still need to deliver them all. Can we ask you to take care of that, Kiyone-san?", asked Nanao politely.

"Sure! Your wish is my command!"

"Great! Come with us, then; and tell us more about these results you received from the poll..."

XXXXX

"Hey there, Yumichika!"

"Matsumoto, you're back!"

"Yep!"

"I heard you spent some time in the human world. Are getting your holidays in advance while the ice prince is still away?"

"Haha, noooo, how could I?", answered Matsumoto in mock indignation, one hand firmly placed over her large chest.

"Right, needn't have asked, I guess. So, what are you up to now? Killing time while Takezoe-san deals with the paperwork? "

"Urgh, no! Takezoe-san is supervising the division's physical training. The one most enthusiastic about our hideous paperwork is Mira-chan, our fourth seat."

"Oh, yeah, the new geek. Hasn´t your division got enough of those?"

"Apparently, though I'd hardly call my taichou a lab rat. This girl, on the other hand, just can't seem to have enough books to read."

"I see. So she's really pathetic."

"No, she's fine. A bit obsessive and a total fangirl of my taichou, but she's cool."

"Ha! Bet you're teasing her brains out."

"Absolutely! A couple of months more and I'll have her driving my taichou crazy. Speaking of which, I am here looking for my apprentice. She here?"

"Urgh, fortunately for all our asses, no. The candy monster must be stalking Byakuya, for a change", replied Yumichika with a grimace. "By the way, Matsumoto, do you know if the SWA has any sordid plans these days?"

_Yes!_, thought Rangiku, doing a mental cartwheel at the long-expected enquiry.

"Plans? Like what? 'Cause we are always on the move, you know? We're a REAL club."

"Nice. Well, actually, Yachiru kept talking about it the other day, trying to piss off the guys around here."

"Mmmm, nope! But I'll ask her, if you wish. Though I must warn you: if it's something fun, you're doomed; after all, I'm a VIP member too, got it?"

"Eeeeh?"

"No, no, I'm afraid it's too late for regrets now, Yumichika. See you for a couple of drinks tomorrow at my quarters! After all, the boss isn't back yet and it's kind of lonely, nee? Bye-bye!", and with that, Seireitei's bombshell was gone.

"We really are screwed..."

XXXXX

The sixth division's large royal reception was magnificent in every architectonical aspect and showed the richest collection of sakura trees ever seen in all Seireitei, but to Matsumoto it was still no match for her division's humble, yet cozy decoration. This one had a definite air of arrogance about it that neither she nor her taichou had never fully appreciated, probably due to the lineage related to its history. Despite this however, her boss' appreciation on the subject did not constitute an impediment to the unforeseen establishment of a very close friendship between him and the sixth division's leader, which in turn had brought about an endless list of nicknames from both captain's followers. Matsumoto's hands down favourites were, without a doubt, ice prince –for her taichou-, and ice king –for Kuchiki taichou.

As Matsumoto walked down the sixth division's never-ending corridors in search for the _pink menace, _she couldn't help remembering the way that odd pair of captains had comically connected about a decade ago; an episode that would always make her smile. Outsiders kept thinking that their becoming friends was bound to be given their apparent similarities, however only a few –amongst which she could proudly count herself- knew that, contrary to this popular belief, the strength of their relationship lied in their abysmal differences. Their likenesses, such as their cool personalities and their logical minds, only prevented them from literally kicking each other's ass whenever they stepped into the other's businesses. But how had it all began? Simple: by force...

_-the flashback-_

Approximately eight years ago, Matsumoto, along with her SWA's newspaper team, got hold of an old security video captioned "Cam 5 – taishu – X". After many attempts to clear the tape in the hopes of finding some dirty little secret, the video had ended up featuring none other than her own taichou being briefly questioned by a curious officer (a.k.a.: Hisagi Shuuhei in his instructor days) right after his captain's test. Unfortunately for Hitsugaya, the exact content of the conversation wasn't really reviewed by Matsumoto before its public broadcasting, and the whole population of Seireitei ended up learning how much of a bad mouth her taichou had had back then. As a matter of fact, the video included a colourful diatribe by Hitsugaya Toushiro about the captains that had just tested his qualities. Apart from the general rule that defined the names of a captain's taishu evaluators as a highly confidential detail not to be disclosed, Hitsugaya's heated statements had made it very clear who those honourable colleagues had been...

"So, your name is Hitsugaya-san, right?"

"Hitsugaya Toushiro. Who asks?"

"Oh! Sorry, I'm Hisagi Shuuhei, third seat and field instructor."

"I don't remember you."

"Yeah, well, I was never assigned to teach you, unfortunately; it would have been great, I'm sure. Your talent has made you quite popular these days."

"Popular... you're kidding me, right? If this is a joke from the blokes in my class, I recommend that you drop the act right now and get out of my sight; I'm not in the mood." At the moment, though not caught on the video, it was clear that the child genius let out a strong surge of his reiatsu to support his last statement, eliciting a shocked, yet admiring expression from his new acquaintance. The young man, noticing the prodigy's susceptibly, immediately reached out and spoke softly but seriously at him, addressing the boy as if he were a full-grown man.

"My apologies, Hitsugaya-san, but I'm not interested in making fun of anyone; that would be undignified and quite below my rank." The white-haired boy next to him held his gaze sceptically.

"Mmm, and what's that thing you're carrying around?"

"Oh! You see, I'm also a correspondent for the Seiretei newspaper project, so I was given this new... recorder-thing in case I get a story, and I just thought your promotion would make a good report."

"Does it work?"

"Well, it's supposed to be on now, but I haven't gotten used to it yet. Guess I'll see when I return to the newspaper's office. Anyway, I still wanted to meet you in person and wish you good luck before the exam."

"Luck? You arrived late, then."

"Late? But it's only 9:30 a.m.! Was the exam postponed, Hitsugaya-san?"

"No, I simply got tired of all the bullshit and left the room."

"What? How...why...?"

"Because I didn't think it appropriate to stay. My appointed evaluators were barely paying any attention to me, and the old geezer just kept silent through it all; it was a disgrace..."

"Wow! I'm not supposed to ask, but what were they doing, really?"

"Let's say they were pissing each other so much I felt like in the middle of a flirting session. And to top it all, they started treating me like a suicidal kid with no brain. Pair of fools..."

"Flirting? How come?"

"One kept babbling nonsense about lineage, and the other just wanted to hunt him and reap him off like a wolf. It was too fucked up. I didn't apply for that."

"Oh my... you mean..."

"Look, I don't really care who they are, nor if you've guessed their identities. I've already made it quite clear to them that I'm not playing."

"What did you do?"

"They needed to cool off, so I... gave them a hand and left the damn room."

"Mmm, I see... so you're leaving now, Hitsugaya-san?"

"Well, I haven't got a division yet, so I guess I'll wait for instructions."

"You don't belong to any division?"

"No. I declined a fukutaicho position yesterday, that's why I came today to sit the taishu. Bloody waste of time if you asked me."

"But-"

"I'm going now. See you around, Hisagi."

"Oh, yes... sure, Hitsugaya-san."

And with that, the remarkably short-tempered officer walked away with his head high and an expression of seriousness that could even impress experienced shinigamis effortlessly. Needless to say, the white haired, child genius made history that day by becoming Seireitei's youngest captain. The release of this video, on the other hand, earned him a brand-new reputation as the most endearingly rebellious taichou in their midst. Ironically, that night, when the leader of the eleventh division returned to his quarters to find out a gigantic stack of letters from his new fans, the entire population of Seiretei could hear his fukurtaicho's name been screamed at the top of his powerful lungs with fury. At first it had been hilarious to Matsumoto, but the morning after she almost regretted her mischief when two of the Gotei 13's deadliest captains appeared at their door with the purpose of taking her taichou out for a _healthy breakfast_. She remembered doing what it seemed like a lifetime of paperwork that day while waiting impatiently for her boss to come back, preferably unscathed, however he never did. What was worse, the boisterous vice-captain knew she just couldn't go looking for him given the circumstances. Despite her fears though, a tired but unharmed Hitsugaya showed up the next day as if nothing had happened. In fact, the shadows beneath his large teal eyes could not hid a slight air of satisfaction he wouldn't explain to her. The two captains in question, though essentially opposite, found something in common –besides their obvious lack of people skills, of course-: an uncommon respect for her captain. Out of the two though, the man voted as "the hottest of the Gotei 13" according to the SWA newspaper, ended up becoming his best friend. And although hard to believe, their wits and hidden dark humour developed into a curious relationship. Subtle jokes and mind games were enjoyed by both, therefore trying to find ways of outsmarting the other constituted the basis of their peculiar dynamic.

_-end of the flashback-_

After some time walking around the sixth division's never ending corridors, Matsumoto finally heard the distinctive raucous that usually followed Abarai Renji's presence. Totally oblivious, as always, the tall tattooed man caught up with Rangiku to greet her without a clue as to what his sudden appearance caused among the female officers around.

"Hey there, Matsumoto! What's got you here?"

"Oh, not much really. Just looking for your captain to check if he's got any homework for me now that my taichou is away."

"I see..."

"So, am I interrupting something? I thought you had training today."

"I do, but came here to say hi before starting the class."

"My, my, are you a clairvoyant now?"

"No, I just heard a few excited morons talking about the voluptuous fukutaicho that always passes by without paying special attention to any of them, so I guessed it was you."

"Yay! I haven't lost my power, then."

"Haha, never! You'll stay forever popular, Matsumoto."

"Me? And what about you? Didn't you see the hungry looks those young female officers kept giving you on your way here?"

"Meee?", asked Renji, his face matching the color of his flashy hair.

"Of course! But don't worry, Abarai-kun, that shyness of yours is also irresistible for most women", assured Matsumoto with a sexy wink that made him feel a lot more awkward.

"Mmm, Matsumoto, speaking about... sex-appeal and stuff..., well, I heard the SWA was doing some kind of poll and..."

"Oh, yes! It's just that men around here are... not much into us, you know?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, let's say that men in Seireitei, especially those who hold important positions such as yourself, do not show that much interest in... how can I put it... women. In the human world, for example, guys are soooo into pleasing women, you know? As a matter of fact, their way of proving their virility is not fighting, but the art of seducing."

"Do you mean women here are beginning to doubt our..."

"No, well... in a way, maybe..."

"But, Matsumoto, you're friends with most of us! You certainly know we're not... we do... care-", stammered Abarai Renji, now positively worried.

"Oh, relax, Abarai-kun. We... understand you're... busy with other things, and have different priorities; so don't you panic, okay? We'll find a solution on our own", finished the tenth division bombshell in a sweet tone that did nothing to soothe her friend.

"On your own? But, what will, how will-"

"Just leave it to us, Abarai-kun. Men in the human world have devoted a lot of work into this subject, so it's kind of exciting. Besides, they're soooo hot. See ya!" And before the tattooed man could ask her further, she shunpooed away, satisfied with her job.

_Ha, they won't get a chance once the sexy packages get out; poor boys... _

A few minutes after her innocent chat with Renji, Matsumoto finally found the main entrance of the Kuchiki manor's tea room. The more she closer she got to the door, the more a grave yet soft, familiar voice reached her ears. After making sure no one was passing by, she kneeled and put her ear right next to the keyhole to confirm her suspicions.

"Am I to understand then, that you don't believe me capable of ever joining the kendo team because I'm antisocial and lazy?", came Byakuya's distinctively manly voice with a note of sarcasm from the other side.

"Well, both alternatives sound quite honest, but none of those answers is correct." Matsumoto's eyes widened as a soft smile appeared on her face. Immediately, she covered her mouth to prevent herself from laughing too laud to get caught.

"Really?", asked the sixth's taichou mildly interested. "What is it, then? Please, enlighten me."

"Simple. You're too damned afraid your _kenseikan_ might fall off your head you never participate in anything."

"Ha-ha-ha. Very witty, Toushiro."

"Thank you. You're quite an inspiration."

"An inspiration or a source of bad jokes?"

"Again both, but since you call me more often than my late grandmother did, and in the middle of my medical rehabilitation no less, I worry for your lack of outside entertainment."

"Aren't you considerate?"

"Always."

"That really defines you, Toushiro: you're an eternally grateful… wait, wait. If I'm the grandmother, then you are…?"

"Fuck you."

"No need. After being married, fucking myself doesn't seem appealing."

"Riiight. You know? Playing dumb does suit you."

"Is that so? I would tell you to go get a cold shower now, but it would turn out useless and redundant to you."

"Haha, kind of, and considering you don't have much imagination…"

"I see. Do you have a theory for that as well?"

"Sure. That damned _kenseikan _is to blame again, I'm afraid. Now I understand why people from the royalty can manage to talk for hours without really saying anything."

Matsumoto, who by now found it incredibly hard to keep herself quiet, decided against her better judgement to sneak a peek through the keyhole in front of her. She shouldn't. Whatever the two captains were saying at the time was inevitably interrupted by an uncontrollable fit of laughter that assaulted her with no mercy. Less than a minute later, an ashen- faced Byakuya opened the door to find his colleague's scandalous assistant curled up in the floor, half laughing her ass out, and half panting for air. Despite the circumstances, she couldn't bring herself to stand up at his death glare, too weak to react quickly. It wasn't until she heard her captain's voice loud and clear that she finally returned to her senses.

"Matsumoto!"

"HAI!", yelled Rangiku instantly recovering from her state and almost knocking Byakuya on the way.

"Come here immediately!"

"Ye-yes! Can I, Kuchiki taichou?" At the motion, the tall, handsome officer shrugged angrily and left, though he did have a soft blush on his normally pale cheeks. Once alone, the crazy fukutaicho approached the old phone placed over the desk in the far end of the office to talk to her boss, whose voice came from the speaker.

"What do you think you're doing, Matsumoto?"

"Eeeh, talking with you, sir?"

"Matsumoto..."

"Okay, okay, I was eavesdropping."

"Yeah, I guessed as much. I meant why aren't you working?"

"Mmm, I was just passing by and heard your voice... I got curious!"

"Interesting. So I asked you to take care of the division, and you end up wasting your time looking for new things to gossip about outside of our division. Why am I not surprised?"

"But there's nothing to worry about, taichou. Everything's under control, trust me."

"That's probably because you're not really in charge of the division, Matsumoto."

"Hey!"

"Who did you convince to do your work this time?"

"Ehem... I thought it would be... a good gesture to ask our young Mira-chan to handle the paperwork so-"

"Perfect, you've overloaded our brand-new fourth seat. Just go back to the office, Matsumoto. I'll give Mira-san half your payment at the end of this month if I don't see you working when I return to the division."

"What?"

"What you heard, Matsumoto. Now, please go back and at least try to pretend you actually enjoy your job."

"But-"

"No, buts."

"Okay, okay. I'll hang up, then."

"Wait, Matsumoto!"

"Hai?"

"Just one question."

"Haha, I knew it! This is about why I laughed, isn't it?"

"What was it, then?"

"Well, let's say all I could see was Kuchiki taichou failing to take his _kenseikan_ off in front of the large mirror here." A couple of silent seconds after her reply, Rangiku heard her captain hang up without even saying goodbye. Miles away, the respectable leader of the tenth division was doubled over in a fit of laughter his friend and colleague would certainly hear about at his return.


	12. Chapter 12 The day Seireitei stood still

Chapter 12.-

The day Seireitei stood still…

06:30 a.m.

It was a cold and pathetically boring Tuesday morning in Seireitei. Even those who loved getting up early felt sleepy; and the lifeless, grey sky that greeted them did not help matters. Nevertheless, the few women who knew the importance of that day, could not stay in their beds for an extra nap. The moment of truth had finally come. If they played their cards right, having the first half of their plan finished within a fortnight would be a piece of cake.

07:00 a.m.

Eighteen senior female officers checked their mail on their way out only to find out elegantly-looking packages on their doorsteps. All packages were decorated with expensive-looking black wrapping paper, purple ribbons and black cards that read "SWA: VIP test gifts" in silver letters.

08:00 a.m.

None of the eighteen women who received the special deliveries showed up to work on time. In fact, only five went to work at all that day. One of them, though, didn't exactly work that morning…

When the alarm clock she'd stolen from Zarachi taichou went off at 8:00 a.m. that day, a voluptuous pink-haired officer simply threw the damned item across her room, rolled over, and returned to sleep. A couple of hours later, however, her peaceful sleep was interrupted by a voice message from the SWA advising her to check the special delivery that had been left at her doorstep. Immediately waking up, the young fukutaicho jumped out of her exceedingly comfy bed and did as requested.

10:55 a.m.

The eleventh division fukutaicho was seen entering her office with a creepy smile on her face and a large sack behind her back. The feared female officer threatened to kill anyone who dared even knock her door until she was finished. What was it so important that she needed to finish, she did not say, but she made it clear that no one was to go in no matter what they would hear from outside her office.

11:23 a.m.

The men at the eleventh division had officially freaked out due to the series of powerful moans coming from their fukutaicho's office. Half of them believed the young woman was in the middle of a dark ritual, while the other half wanted to rescue her from what appeared to be some kind of respiratory issue. Given their captain's absence –he never arrived to work before 2 p.m.- their current third seat was called to find a solution to their predicament.

11:37 a.m.

The tenth division fukutaicho almost choked on her late breakfast -chocolate bonbons filled with sake- while reading a desperate S.O.S. message from her friend, Yumichika Ayasegawa. The description of the situation given by the egocentric officer had been short, yet extremely _graphic_, and had included a direct threat against her life if she dared not help him solve the problem in question before the arrival of his leader.

11:55 a.m.

After laughing openly at the dumbstruck expressions of the tough, thick men from the eleventh division who quietly awaited for an explanation –as if it wasn't already painfully obvious-, Matsumoto Rangiku decided to reveal the "truth" behind the commotion to the man who had requested her assistance…

"_Matsumoto, what's this shit about? The guys outside might seem like a bunch of dim-witted, pathetic subordinates to you, but if my captain comes and-"_

"_Oh,relax Yumichika. Yachiru-chan may be kind of reckless sometimes, but she knows better than to let herself be caught by Zaraki in that state. Just leave it to me, okay?"_

"_That doesn't answer my question, Matsumoto; and what state are you referring to exactly, eh?"_

"_Well, if you want the truth, it wasn't my doing; not this time, at least."_

"_How so?"_

"_Mmm, where to begin…?"_

"_Again, Zaraki taichou will be here to have lunch with us in less than an hour, and by US I mean that pink-haired devil and myself. So either you cut to the fucking chase already, or he'll have both our asses for lunch!"_

"_Hahaha, and that wouldn´t be nice, would it? Okay. Anyways, it all started with the poll you heard about, remember? The SWA committee distributed it while I was away following a large number of requests, and it turns out that women in Seireitei… desperately need to get off."_

"_Ee-what?"_

"_Yeah, I know. You see, our members have been feeling…unwanted, and totally ignored by the opposite sex. And just as you had figured out, they concluded that you guys simply lack sexual drive."_

"_That's pretty fucked-up. You don't believe that, do you?"_

"_In general terms? Yeah, I must admit that I do. After all, most men around are so devoted to spending all day training and comparing the size of their zanpakuto, that they don't even seem to care about using us for sex. Truth hurts."_

"_Great friend you are, Matsumoto. Besides, you're the ultimate sex fantasy in this place; men everywhere get hard just by seeing you, and yet you doubt-"_

"_Haha, nice one, Yumichika; that's all very flattering, but precisely because of my privileged position I've been able to witness how men here do not pay any attention whatsoever to the women around them unless they're walking half-exposed and right next to them."_

" _So women have given up on men here, then; that's it?"_

"_No, not completely. We just won't force men to change their priorities, so we'll take care of our primary needs on our own."_

"_On your own? Is that what Yachiru is doing in there? You mean to say she's… alone?"_

"_She's a grown-up woman already, remember? My bet would be that she's decided to test other ways to get off, that's all."_

"_I know I'll regret it but, what do you fucking mean by OTHER ways, Matsumoto?"_

"_Well, I do have some part in that. You see, while Ise-chan and I were on a mission in the human world, I discovered these fascinating inventions called sex toys that humans created to….relieve themselves. Men in the human world do seem to mind, don't you think?"_

"_Toys? They're geniuses because they fabricate toys to replace men?"_

"_No, they produce them massively to add some kinkiness into their lives. The sad thing is that humans also have fun using them with their sex partners, while most women here would only use them to compensate for your lack of… interest."_

"_And YOU bought one of those for Yachiru?"_

"_What can I say? I'm a caring sempai. Though I brought a whole batch to sell here, just to see if it could be a good business, and sells have gone so far up you should be surprised if other incidents like this become more frequent…"_

"_You-I, damn Yachiru! Just solve this, okay? And you better invite me a drink at the end of my round!" _

"_Okay, okay. You keep a watch on your taichou, then. I think I can feel him approach already."_

"_Fuck!"_

12:28 p.m.

The redheaded fukutaicho slipped a short note under her disciple's office making sure to add a bit of her reiatsu to it to identify herself.

12:40 p.m.

Zaraki Kenpachi finally arrived to be greeted by an unusually talkative Yumichika Ayasegawa. The younger officer asked him to supervise a couple of duels at their dojo before heading to the main offices. Not interested in paperwork at all, the blood-thirsty captain accepted to go with him so long as his subordinate "shut the fuck up".

1:26 p.m.

The eleventh division fukutaicho exited her office with a wide, satisfied smile on her flushed face to receive her dear captain with one of her own bear hugs. Her captain barely looked at her tiredly, told his third seat to beat it, and left to have lunch at his main office, not before grunting in Matsumoto Rangiku's direction as a form of primitive acknowledgement of her presence.

2:00 p.m.

The juicy details of the so-called "private conversation" between the sexy fukutaicho from the tenth division, and Yumichika Ayasegawa had circulated all around Seireitei.

3:45 p.m.

After the sleepiness that had affected Seireitei that morning, followed by the sudden commotion caused by two popular fukutaichos, everyone started to notice that an add from the SWA had been published in today's Shinigami Newspaper edition advertising the inclusion of spicy calendars imported from the human world for their female readers only. A minimum subscription fee was to be deposited into the SWA's account by those interested in getting the _hot_ bi-weekly collection. *The add in question showed a very tempting photo of a human male model completely exposed, except for his member, which was covered by the subscription payment instructions.

4:12 p.m.

An urgent meeting was arranged by the Shinigami Men Association. Proposed time: 7:00 p.m. Place: Hisagi Shuuhei's quarters.

4:00 p.m. – 6:38 p.m.

Matsumoto Rangiku kept her radio's volume in vibration-mode to avoid the constant calls she was receiving from her persistent boyfriend. Besides, she was too drunk at the moment, as were her two partners in crime: Ise Inoue, and Kusajishi Yachiru. The first one had been only too excited to join their celebration after watching the dumb expression on her captain's face when she showed up to her office –in her gorgeous satin PJs, by the way- just to steal the newspaper from his hands, and walk away without saying hello.

7:00 p.m.

The SMA urgent meeting started with an unprecedented attendance rate. Most men were desperate to listen to Yumichika's recount of the events that did occur that morning. Of course, they all had very clear that none of it was to be disclosed in the presence of the eleventh division taichou, unless they were looking for a very painful death.

7:55 p.m.

The President of the SWA _asked_ one of the members of her association to find out the results of their counterparts' meeting. Person appointed for this specific task: Hinamori Momo.

9:26 p.m.

As the SMA couldn't find a safe solution to put an end to this "alarming" situation provoked by the SWA to piss them off, the members decided to name three representatives to research on their options through some of their female friends and colleagues, and to try to negotiate with them if possible. The elected representatives: two soon-to-be-officially-named-captains, Madarame Ikkaku and Hisagi Shuugei –though both were already been given that distinction when addressed by lower ranked officers-, and Abarai Renji.

10:17 p.m.

Kira Izuru returned home to his wife, the fifth division fukutaicho, not knowing what to expect after the rumors he had heard, only to be comforted by Hinamori Momo's sweet smile and delicious meal. To accompany one of his favorite dishes, his wife served him a small cup of hot sake they reserved only for special occasions. After a couple of hours of light talk, more sake, and some -ironically- not quite inspired sex, the blonde officer confided all his worries to his beloved spouse.


	13. Chapter 13 The Newspaper trap

Chapter 13.-

The Newspaper trap

After many days trying to contact his girlfriend, Hisagi Shuuhei resorted to sending a letter to her asking to have dinner together that evening. Grudgingly, and having ran out of excuses, Matsumoto accepted to meet him on her quarters right after working hours –though that expression didn't really mean anything to her.

The tattooed, dark-haired man showed up a few minutes after 6:00 p.m. on her door, totally resolved to get information from her as well as to prove his… abilities. Foreseeing this scenario, the tenth division fukutaicho made sure to place a huge pile of paperwork in an extremely visible part of her living room to accompany her (fake) bags under her eyes. To avoid any suspicions from his side, of course, she received him with a wide smile and a too-friendly hug. He immediately worried and, very cunningly, even offered to massage her back to help her relax…

"Hisagi-"

"Shuuhei, please."

"Okay,okay, that kind of tickles, haha."

"You look so lovely when you laugh like that, you know?"

"Oh, you're so sweet, Shuu-kun."

"Could you call me Shuuhei, please… Rangiku l-love?" Her eyes widened to the size of saucers, Matsumoto instinctively turned around, causing Hisagi to fall to the floor from his seductive position behind her back. As a result, he bumped his head hard against one of her lamps.

"Oh! Sorry, Shuu- ehem… sorry, I'm… sorry."

"It's okay, Rangiku. I knew you could freak out. I just-"

"Don't worry, there's no need to explain now. Does it hurt?"

"No-Ouch! Maybe a little…"

"Here, use this iced bottle. It will make the pain go; and if not, you can just drink it, you know? I can let you invite me some other time."

"Rangiku…" Hisagi's hoarse tone and intense, loving stare were unmistakable. However, as he reached out to touch her cheek, Matsumoto grabbed his hand softly and smiled, pretending she didn't know what was going on.

"I do think I lo-"

"No, please don't", the voluptuous woman couldn't help to say, using her delicate index finger to shut him up at the same time. "I… doubt I'm ready for that. You're right after all, I-"

But the tanned, handsome man kneeling beside her put an end to her words with the best kiss he was sure he had ever given to a woman. Her response, on the other hand, although tender and caring, did not mirror his passion in the slightest. When they broke apart, his head fell in disappointment.

"Shuuhei, I'm… so sorry. I don't know if I can return your feelings."

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry, Rangiku. I noticed we were stuck weeks ago, and yet I chose to deny it. Before coming here I… I even tried to convince myself that your attitude towards me could be related to that damn poll thing."

"Hahaha, you're such an idiot! A lovely idiot, I must say, but still an idiot, you know?"

"Well, you can't blame me for trying. Besides, all these rumors have flooded Seireitei so quickly, I-"

"Oh, don't come with stories, mister. You were just looking for an excuse to go to the next level here, didn't you?" Hisagi's face flushed scarlet, rendering him speechless like a boy caught by his parents. After a few silent seconds though, he looked at her and took her hands firmly.

"I would never take advantage of you, Rangiku."

"I know, Shuu-kun. And I wouldn't be such a bitch as to reject a guy due to useless gossip."

He sighed, smiling gently at her, but the pain of the break-up was starting to get to him. Without any more words to exchange, Shuuhei Hisagi, got up, kissed her hand, and bid her goodbye.

Three bottles of sake later, Matsumoto slipped into her bed, not without disconnecting her alarm clock to allow herself some extra sleep.

XXXXX

The morning after, the Shinigami Newspaper delivered its first batch of exclusive nude calendars from the human world to all registered female clients. "Accidentally", several of these copies ended up in the hands of male officers, who were shocked to the core at the explicit photographs on them. This, along with the fact that the infamous sex toys –or _pink_ _toys_, as they had been baptized after the Yachiru incident- were now beginning to appear advertised in all their media, definitely got them on edge. However, after the break-up between Matsumoto and Hisagi, the only SMA representatives who could still find a solution to their predicament were Kira Izuru and Abarai Renji. Ironically, and after various pitiable tries, it was the recently-married shinigami who delivered the expected "master plan" to the rest of his colleagues...

"This is insane… a calendar, you say?", asked Renji incredulously, trying to hold back a laugh, though his blonde colleague did not budge.

"Yeah, I know how it sounds, but the idea came to me yesterday, thanks to Momo-chan. You see, I've been trying to get more and more information from her about this whole madness, and this is the only option that has occurred to me."

"I think it's brilliant," said the obnoxious second division fukutaicho from his seat, "but I can bet you one of my family's properties that your sad, pale ass wouldn't sell a shit!"

"Hey! Shut the fuck up, will you? And show some respect for the man's wife", ordered Iba menacingly, about to take off his legendary dark glasses.

"Guys, cool off, please."

"Thank you, Hisagi-san. As I was saying, this is just a suggestion, and if you give me a couple of minutes to explain why I think it'd work, you'll understand."

"Bu-oh, the hell! I don't like this at all, but… whatever, just go on, man", said Renji this time, a slight tone of apprehension to his usually boisterous voice.

"Well, again, what became very clear to me after discussing the subject with Momo is that most women here are now completely addicted to these naked magazines that their association has started distributing. So, when I jokingly told her that those overly-muscular models wouldn't stand a chance next to us, guess what? She confided to me that all her friends from the SWA had fantasized about having us posing naked like that for years!"

"No way!", yelled several members in unison, cheering up almost instantly.

"It's true!"

"But that doesn't make any sense. If that were true, then why haven't we ever heard a thing about it?", asked Ikkaku quizzically.

"Because their… theory about us not being interested in them came up, and… well, the rest is history", finished Kira lamely.

"Theory, my ass!", grunted the bald shinigami, feeling insulted.

"We can't really blame them, can we partner?", interjected Yumichika wisely, "after all, there aren't many guys here who can admit being sexually active these days, right? Apart from Kyoraku taichou, of course."

"That's true!"

"Wait, wait. Would YOU really consider posing naked, Kira? And you, Yumichika?"

"Mmm, I think I would do it if we all agree that it is to save our reputation. Those women are kind of pissing me off."

"I agree, and I doubt my wife would mind, seeing how she blushed all over after telling me about this."

"And what about you, Hisagi?"

"I-I would go with it if you all agree to do this. The thing is, how would we do it?"

"Good point. Guess we could use the same media they've been using: the Shinigami Newspaper", answered Kira simply.

"Argh, I hate myself for following you, guys; but who would you plan to leave in charge of taking the pictures and that stuff?", asked Abarai in resigned. "'Cause I don't know you, but I wouldn't pose in front of ANY girl, really; especially if it's one of the SWA members…"

"Me neither", accepted Hisagi with a desperate look on his face.

"But if it's not a woman…", stopped the blonde officer mid-sentence, turning slowly to look at Ayasegawa Yumichika, who was adjusting his hair accessory at the moment. A few seconds later, the whole group was pointedly staring at him, which finally drew his attention.

"Oh, crap. Well, given that no one here has the slightest sense of style, I could volunteer to do it."

"Well, that might actually work…", admitted Iba honestly.

"Perfect!", exclaimed Sentarou Kotsubaki, from the thirteenth division, extremely excited about their "great idea".

"It's decided, then. Yumichika, we'll leave the creative part of you. And the rest: please make sure not to make any plans for this weekend, okay?"

"What? So soon?"

"Yes, Renji. Don't you see we need to surprise them?"

"Oh, fuck you, Kira! Damn, we really are screwed…", finished the redheaded fukutaicho hopelessly, to which Yumichika replied in a dark, sarcastic tone:

"Well, apparently that's been their plan all along, kid."

XXXXX

03:00 a.m. – Tenth Division Quarters

"Matsumoto-san?"

"Eeeh?"

"Matsumoto-san, are you awake?"

"Ye-yeah, right… I love you, too… mmm..."

"Matsumoto-san!"

"Shit!", awoke Rangiku finally, sweat feeling suddenly cold against her warm skin.

"I-I'm sorry, Matsumoto-san. I know it's really late, but I had to call you."

"Eeh… Momo-chan? Why… ? Has something wrong happened with my taichou?"

"No! Don't you say that, Matsumoto-san! This has nothing to do with him. I'm calling regarding the project, that's all"

"Damn! You really scared me, Momo-chan."

"I know… again, I'm very, very sorry."

"So… the project, you say? What did you get from Kira-kun this time?"

"They'll do it."

"What do you mean? Who will… Oh-my-GOD!"

"Yes, yes! Just low down your voice a bit, Matsumoto-san. Kira might wake up."

"Woo hoo! We did it, we did it! I could kiss you right now!"

"Eeeh?"

"Oh, come on! Let's go celebrate, Momo-chan! Wanna drink with me?"

"No!"

"Haha, you're so not fun, girl! I know you and my taichou grew up together, but you don't have to be such a killjoy."

"Matsumoto, please listen to me!"

"Okay, okay. What is it?"

"I waited for Kira to fall asleep because I needed you to ask you two things."

"O-kay...?", said Rangiku in hesitation, anticipating part of the younger woman's request.

"The first is that I didn't have any opportunity to tell Kira about the list of guys the SWA wanted to see posing, so someone else will have to suggest that to them. It seems that one of the guys will take care of the pictures, also-"

"Ha! I'd bet all my sake that Yumichika's gotten that job, alright."

"Yeah… probably."

"Well, no problem with that. What else can I so for you, Momo-chan?"

"Mmm… after all this is done…"

"Do you worry about Hitsugaya taichou?"

"Yes."

"You don't need to."

"But, Shiro-kun-"

"Momo-chan," interrupted Matsumoto, inevitably picturing her boss' angry expression every time he was called like that by his old friend, "I know what you're thinking, so please trust me: I already have a plan to save my taichou from our crazy project, okay?"

"You do?"

"Sure! How could I forget about him? The guy would bury me in stacks of paperwork for the rest of my miserable existence!"

"Oh, he wouldn't!"

"Hey, I'm just joking. But I do mean it when I tell you that I'll do everything I can to put him out of the SWA's radar."

"Do you promise?"

"I swear it, Momo-chan. Satisfied?"

"Mmm, yeah."

"Great! Now return to bed and warm Kira up before he wakes up."

"Oh! I totally forgot about that. Bye, Matsumoto-san. Thank you!"

"Bye!"

… "Great! Now I can't sleep!"

XXXXX

"You sure?"

"Yes, Nanao-chaaan! Momo said it was voted yesterday, so the guys are in our hands already!"

"Wow, that was fast…"

"Hey! You don't sound as enthusiastic as should, girl. Everything alright in the office?"

"The office? Oh, you mean the idiot here? No, he's just the usual jerk, nothing new-"

"Oh, you're so mean, Nanao-chaaan", said Kyoraku taichou at his subordinate's description. Immediately though, Matsumoto heard a loud noise from the other side of the line, followed by a painful moan.

"Just a second, Matsumoto. Could you please stop crying like a baby, sir? I'm on the phone. What were you saying Matsumoto?"

"Haha, I was asking you if you had any problems there, however I can see you have everything under control."

"You could say so, at least until I get out of this damn post. Anyways, back to what you were telling me about, I was just wondering why it had been so easy, really."

"Yeah, I know. But you got to admit that we are surrounded by wild, macho-type guys whose sensitivity about these matters can be extremely high. In other words, we got them by the balls!"

"The ones most of them lack, you mean?"

"Yep! So we have to act fast before they chicken out, you know? I'll ask my faithful Yachiru to close the deal and we'll be ready for the yummy treat!"

"Mmm, that will definitely be worth watching."

"What will be, Nanao-chan?"

"Quit calling me Nanao-chan, you drunk, womanizer! One more time, and I'll be submitting my resignation before the Soutaicho himself, got it?"

"Oops! I wouldn't dream of being in Kyoraku's shoes now. Care to go for a couple of drinks, sister?"

"Drinks? Sure, I need a few. See you in ten minutes, Matsumoto."

"Cool!"

"You hanged up, Nanao…-san? Are you going out with Matsumoto-chan for a couple of drinks?"

"Yes."

"Can I-"

"No, you certainly can't join us, sir. And, by the way, since I've finished everything that needed to be done for today, I won't be coming back this afternoon. Goodbye."

"Goodye… Nanao-san…"


	14. Chapter 14 The photo shoot session

Note from the author:

Hello, minna-san/everyone! Before you continue reading this fic, I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your kind reviews. Even though I rarely reply to them for fear of giving away any details on future chapters, I definitely read each and every comment you send to me whenever I'm about to update my story. Hope you enjoy these 2 new chapters -both are relatively short, but I hope you like them still n_n. If possible, keep submitting your reviews, please! ;)

Chapter 14.-

The photo shoot session 1.0 – Excerpts from behind the lens

"Ehem, is this okay, Yumichika?"

"#%$&, Ikkaku! I said you could pose with something that inspires you, but your freaking zanpakutou in bankai-mode is definitely off limits, got it? You're tearing down the studio!"

XXXXX

"So, is it over already?"

- "Eeeh… no, not yet."

"…"

"…"

"What about now?"

"Mmm, no."

"Fucking fashion-maniac! How long will you have me waiting in this place? I'm freezing my balls here!"

"Argh! Shut the fuck up, Omaeda! If you weren't so damn ugly I wouldn't have this much trouble trying to find something remotely sexy in you!"

"What?"

"What you heard! You're useless for this project, you fat bastard! I should be getting paid for even looking at- wait!"

"What is it, _sunflower_?"

"Bring me all the money you have at home, immediately!"

"And why would I do that?"

"To cover your sorry ass, of course. We need something more interesting for our future clients to watch. Hurry!"

XXXXX

"So… do I re-really have to get na-naked, Yumichika-san?"

"Yes, that's kind of the point."

"But…"

"Do you have a problem with that?"

"N-No! Not at all, Yumi-Yumichi-."

"Yamada-kun."

"Ye-yes?"

"You know how everyone from my division always treats you better than the rest for taking care of us after our private duels, don't you?"

"Well, yes; I no-noticed that."

"Great. Just so you know, my patience is getting thinner by the minute with this damn job; therefore, I'm not feeling particularly honorable right now. Do you fucking get what I mean, kid?"

"Whe-where do you want me, sir?"

XXXXX

"Renji, open the stupid door!"

"No! I said I'll be out in five minutes, okay?"

"Bullshit! That was a lifetime ago, you moron! Get your ass out here NOW, or I'll bring this door to pieces!"

"No!"

"Why the FUCK no, Renji? What is it that you need to do in there apart from taking off your clothes?"

"Eeeh…"

"Renji…"

"I can't go out now."

"Because...?"

"I've got a… _situation_…"

"What kind of-oooooh… don't tell me you got a hard-"

"Shhhh! Yes, yes, just don't advertise-oh, that's perfect. Why don't you laugh a little louder Yumichika? I think they haven't heard you in fucking Rukongai!"

XXXXX

"Yumichika."

"…"

"Pss! Yumichika!"

"What is it, Hisagi?"

"That was actually my question, Yumichika. I've been posing for over 20 minutes in this freezing studio, and I need to get going."

"Well, I'm having some trouble with you, obviously."

"How come?"

"Well, for one, you've been growing mushrooms all around you, so your damn depression over Matsumoto is getting in the way."

"Shit! Sorry, man. But… what is the other reason, then?"

"The other reason is that I need to find what you lack."

"What I lack?"

"Yeah. Your sexiness is so natural it makes me angry, but you're still not on my level of beauty, so I'm trying to identify what it is…"

"You're joking, right? Damn…"

"Where are you going, Hisagi? I haven't finished with you!"

"I know already! I just need my phone to report that I'm taking the afternoon off. Crazy beauty maniac!"


	15. Chapter 15 The mischievous countdown

Chapter 15.-

The mischievous countdown

"What do you mean we cannot publish our own photos?", demanded Ikkaku incensed.

"Chill out, Madarame. I didn't say we wouldn't be able to do it, it's just that there is an issue with the license to sell this kind of stuff", explained Hisagi Shuuhei trying his best to keep his colleagues and fellow SMA's members calmed. "You see, the SWA got the license to sell their magazines from the human world directly from the Soutaicho, and he gave it exclusively to them because they agreed to donate all their profits to Seiretei's Damage Control Unit and the poorest districts of Rukongai."

"What? That's bullsh-"

"Hey, hey, relax guys. I know what you're thinking, but I talked with Unohana taichou herself. She even showed me their official agreement, so I can tell the whole thing is true."

"What can we do, then?"

"Well the only option we've got, according to Unohana taichou's kind advice-"

"Kind? That's the creepiest woman we've had around, man", stated the second division fukutaicho before eating what looked like a gigantic chocolate donut in one bite.

"Omaeda, please let me finish, okay? We may be able to publish what we've done IF we request the SWA's sponsorship, and agree to donate all the money from the sales."

"Wait, wait. What do you mean by sponsorship? That sounds plain dirty to me, Hisagi", interrupted Renji, who was sulking at the far corner of their meeting room –a.k.a: Hisagi's apartment.

"Mmm, not really. She actually gave us quite a good idea. You see, given that their agreement is exclusive, she has offered us to publish our photos as a special calendar project made by our association, but with their collaboration."

"The doctor-taichou does know her business, doesn't she?", commented Yumichika thoughtfully. "Guessed we shouldn't have underestimated her, but I don't see any reason why we shouldn't do it their way."

"You don't? Come on, Yumichika! We're been played at like a bunch of idiots. They'll change everything!"

"Don't be paranoid, Ikkaku. Can't you see that they've been waiting for this to happen for years? Besides, it's not like they were trying to redo the photoshoots themselves, right Hisagi?", asked Kira fully convinced.

"No, they'll just help us with the production. Yumichika would keep his position as our… what was the right name, Yumichika?"

"Art Director."

"Exactly."

"O-kay. Whatever, guys; just make sure the agony was not in vain."

"Yeah, well. We trust Yumichika to do the right thing, don't we?"

"What?", asked Yumichika perplexed to Hisagi, who leant down a bit so that his words would only reach his colleague.

"Please, Yumichika. The female representative in charge of publications at the newspaper is Matsumoto. I just CAN'T do the public affairs stuff!"

"Shit!"

XXXXX

"So, Matsumoto: how was it?", asked Soifon taking the first turn to speak at their long-awaited SWA update session. At once, all eyes fell on the redheaded with eager curiosity.

"Well, Yumichika was totally offended at the genuine surprise he detected in my voice when I praised his work, but I've got to admit… they actually exceeded my expectations, girls."

"Really?", exclaimed many of her fellow members skeptically.

"Indeed, I also had the opportunity to see part of the results, ladies," said Unohana taichou with a satisfied smile on her face, "and I agree with Matsumoto-san here. Our male officers have certainly done well enough to guarantee we get what the Soutaichou offered to us a month ago. I'm very proud of your efforts, ladies."

"Yes!", exclaimed Yachiru jumping from her seat to shake Unohana's hand wildly while the rest of the room vibrated with her colleagues' excitement.

"Hey, this deserves a toast, don't you think?", proposed Kiyone to everyone's delight.

"Ehem, I'm sorry, Kiyone-chan, girls; but I'm sure the celebration can wait a few minutes, nee?", interrupted Matsumoto in a falsely naïve tone that couldn't conceal her mischievous cat-like grin.

"Oh my, what are you planning now, Rangiku?"

"Come on, Nanao, don't be such a spoilsport! I just thought the girls might prefer to help me, you know, perhaps… select the pictures for the calendar with me!", finally said Matsumoto, causing her comrades to stare at her openmouthed for a couple of seconds before starting to scream like a group teenage fan girls.

Around three hours and several bottles of sake later, all the VIP members of the SWA –with the exception of Unohana taichou, of course- had successfully passed out in the middle of their own conference room. Even Ise Nanao could be found sleeping soundly over a comfy couch she had had to unwillingly share with the tenth division's famous bombshell. The latter, as customary, laid happily curled right next to her with a wide smile on her face. For sure, fun memories of the night's spicy jokes and comments filled her crazy thoughts. And they were just getting started…


	16. Chapter 16 The calendar effect

Chapter 16.-

The calendar effect & the time of the season

Seireitei had always been a quiet place; slightly cold and dusty, but still quite predictable. Unfortunately, there were many for whom its quietness was just too much, and it was only a matter of time for some kind of revolution to break Soul Society's untouchable limits. The unexpected arrival of Kurosaki Ichigo and Aizen's betrayal a couple of decades ago had definitely turned their world upside down, but in this occasion the battlefield was a lot harder to trail. The morning Seiretei woke up to find its finest male officers voluntarily exposed to the eager eyes of dozens of young –and not so young- female shinigami, an explosion of sorts occurred. There was no turning back. An hour and thirteen minutes after the central Shinigami Newspaper office opened, the "Shinigami Male Officer's Calendar" had totally been sold out. Needless to say, an unstoppable wave of rumors, comments, and discussions followed, reaching the ears of the heads of each squad... including, to Matsumoto Rangiku's dismay, the captain of the tenth division, a certain Hitsugaya Toushiro, who was absent on a medical license at the time…

Friday, 11:19 a.m.; almost four hours after the calendar's 1st edition had run out…

-"Moshi-moshi? Tenth Division here to help you!"  
-"Interesting. Are we running some kind of emergency line now, Matsumoto?"  
-"T-taichou?"  
-"According to my job description, yes."  
-"Haha… so funny…" *nervous laughter*  
-"By the way, you seem particularly cheerful today, Matsumoto. Any good NEWS you may want to share with me?"  
-"N-nooo, nothing much…"  
-"Matsumoto…" *low, menacing tone*  
-"I-I just remembered I forgot to send a report-"  
-"Matsumoto!"  
-"Oh, alright. I guess… you've heard, haven't you?"  
-"I would have loved that, Matsumoto; but no, I didn't HEAR so much as SEE what this morning's commotion was all about."  
-"Crap!"  
-"I agree. The disturbing fact that Kira has Hinamori's name tattooed on his ass is something I wish I had never kno- Matsumoto!"  
-"S-Sorry, taichou. I just couldn't help laughing."  
-"Evidently."  
-"I know it may not help much at this point, taichou; but I swear it wasn't my idea."  
-"I couldn't care less whose idea it was, Matsumoto. How much did you help the SWA with this lunacy?"  
-"Etoo…"  
-"Did you, or did you not participate in this project, Matsumoto?"  
-"I did, sir."  
-"During working hours?"  
-"Well... I..."  
-"I see."  
-"But, taichou-"  
-"I only asked you to do one thing during my absence, Matsumoto; one thing only."  
-"I know…"  
-"I highly doubt it. Do you have any idea of how much you jeopardize your own position for these silly projects? Do you think I'm having a blast away from the office? Well, you couldn't be more wrong!"  
-"Are you… not recovering, taichou?"  
-"I'm working my ass off to do so, Matsumoto! You, on the other hand, seem to think of this as some kind of well-deserved vacation!"

*suddenly, a loud bang could be heard from the young captain's side; like a door being forcefully opened*

-"Fuck! How many times do I have to tell you not to burst into my room, Yoruichi!"  
-"Yo-Yoruichi? Taichou-"  
-"Come on, snowflake! I just heard your dulcet tones, and thought I could cheer you up a bit…"  
-"Yoruichi, get the fuck off of me!"  
-"Taichou, are you in the human world?"  
-"Mmm, want me to call you taichou too, my ice-cream dragon?"  
-"That's it! I promise I'll freeze your butt if you don't move; you sick, nymphomaniac cat-woman! Gotta go, Matsumoto."  
-"What the-"

XXXXX XXXXX XXXXX

-"So?"  
-"So _what_?"  
-"What do you mean _So what_? Haven't you been listening to me at all, Nanao-chan?"  
-"Oh, you want my opinion. Well, his reaction was quite expected."  
-"I know, I know, but what can I DO?"  
-"Mmm, about this calendar you mean, or about the next one?"  
-"Urgh! Please don't even mention it or I'll throw up."  
-"Again, you KNEW this was coming, Matsumoto."  
-"Of course I did, but now I'm worried about his condition, too! It's been over a month already, with no word from anyone in the fourth division, and now he happens to be in the human world!"  
-"I have to admit it sounds more serious than what we thought, but you also have to consider the fact that he's one of the Gotei 13; therefore, his medical file is strictly confidential."  
-"But I'm his fukutaicho!"  
-"Calm down, Matsumoto."  
-"Okay, okay… gomen, Nanao-chan."  
-"Don't bother. What you do need to worry about, though-"  
-"The captain's calendar?"  
-"Yes."  
-"Shit! I really fear requesting an exception before Unohana taichou."  
-"Haha. You, Matsumoto Rangiku, scared?"  
-"Oh, please. Can you tell me you don't fear the woman?"  
-"Of course I do. She has the power to heal us, after all."  
-"Thank you, Nanao-chan. Now I have one more reason to fear her."  
-"Hahaha, my fault. By the way, how do you plan to approach her?"  
-"Well, I guess I'll give it a try tomorrow, at our meeting."  
-"In front of all the members?"  
-"Yes… after all, I might get some support from the girls."  
-"You can count with me, then. I do respect Hitsugaya taichou very much."  
-"Yeah, what with him being your soul mate and all- ouch!"  
-"Focus, Matsumoto!"  
-"You didn't have to hit me with your fan to make a point, you know?"  
-"Matsumoto…"  
-"You really aren't related, are you?"  
-"Matsumoto!"  
-"Okay, okay, I'll cut it. I just start making jokes to get rid of my nerves. Can you help me prepare my speech?"  
-"Now, that's what I was waiting for."

XXXXX XXXXX XXXXX

Although the revolution had hit their society with full force, Seireitei's streets looked pleasantly serene this afternoon… or at least that's how they looked to her right now. Perhaps their long meeting at the SWA headquarters that morning had left her somewhat lethargic. Yes, that could be it. Matsumoto's heartfelt request to leave her captain out of their next project had indeed been the reason for such a protracted session, but she was grateful to her. She had never doubted the redheaded's loyalty for Toushiro, not after having witnessed it countless times. However, she had to confess she believed there was nothing the tenth's wild subordinate would dare to do at this stage, and yet she did it. Matsumoto's words had filled her with such a bittersweet mix of joy, pride and melancholy, she had lost track of time; and her private collection of long-buried memories had been reawaken. All of them devoted to him. Her first love. Her purest love.

She couldn't deny she had been totally besotted by Aizen's (fake) father-like gestures and imperturbable personality back when she was still a naïve and inexperienced fukutaicho, but that's all it had been: a simple infatuation. Nothing good had come from her simple, childish feelings, though. And regardless how much she had cried, fought, and begged, the truth remained. He hadn't been real; she knew that now. She certainly thanked her luck every day for the happy woman she was at present, married to a loving man who could dream of a future to share with her forever. Sacrifices had had to be made, of course. Getting back on her feet had cost her not only years of her life; it had cost her him, as well. Somewhere between those endless, awkward encounters at the fourth division's intensive care wing, and the silent acknowledgement of each other's wounds and apologies, she had lost him. The cheeky, yet deeply caring and lonely boy she had grown up with; that's the partner she had wanted all along, but it had been too late for them.

A light breeze played with her black hair, and she closed her eyes to enjoy its caress. Standing there peacefully, she could still feel Toushiro's cool breath against her lips from the day she confessed her feelings to him with a sloppy kiss. The sadness in his eyes; the uninvited truth. She knew it wasn't meant to be before it ended, but the urge to tell him how precious he was to her had been too powerful. She had also known well about the heavy burden he carried due to his unnaturally young appearance and bright mind. It was a cruel joke, indeed. The guardian of justice couldn't even get a fair treatment himself. The sole idea of him being humiliated for their association's sake hurt her beyond words. She wouldn't allow it. Luckily though, the board had consented to take two days to assess the pros and cons, so she could still support Matsumoto's request. Toushiro's popularity was, apparently, quite significant despite the circumstances; but they couldn't give up.

Hinamori Momo sighed wearily and smiled feeling the suddenly chilly wind embracing her. It was never too late to get started, wasn't it?

XXXXX

-"Sweet kami, I couldn't be more tired!"  
-"Everything okay, Matsumoto?"  
-"Okay you say? Mira-chan got injured during our division's physical tests yesterday. In other words, I've been doing nothing but paperwork for the last… 3 hours! Could you believe that?"  
-"Wow! You sure you don't want to lie down then, instead of sneaking into the second division's training quarters for heaven knows why?", asked Ise Nanao amused.  
-"Thank you for your support, Nanao-chan; but no, a little dose of professional ass-kicking is precisely what I need to recover my energy, so if you don't mind-"  
-"Oooh, sempai also came to watch the match?"  
-"Yachiru-chan!"  
-"What match are you referring to, Kusayishi-san?"  
-"Nanao-chan hasn't heard about the captains' secret fighting matches before?"  
-"Secret matches? Nice! See, Nanao-chan? We hit the jackpot!"  
-"So, Matsumoto-san didn't know about them either?", asked Kiyone Kotetsu appearing without warning from behind the redheaded and making her jump slightly.  
-"Nope.  
-"Mmm, now that I think about it, I do remember my captain mumbling something regarding Gotei's underground matches a few months ago."  
-"Mumbling?"  
-"He was drunk at the time, Kiyone-san. Apes are more eloquent than him in that state."  
-"Haha, right."  
-"Girls, move it! The match is already on!", hissed Yachiru from inside one of the second division's rings. Immediately, her three companions rushed to seat by her side, right in the middle of the top stands of what appeared to be an old, private coliseum. Both Mastumoto and Nanao remained momentarily in awe trying to take in their surroundings, whereas the candy-lover fukutaicho simply smiled and shrugged.  
-"Impressive, isn't it?", commented Kiyone noticing their reaction.  
-"Indeed, this looks like an old, traditional fighting ring. And the uniforms they're wearing…", said Nanao while adjusting her glasses, which made her redheaded friend giggle mischievously.  
-"Oh, as you correctly guessed, everything here is set just as old Seireitei's advanced training championships. No reiatsu techniques are allowed and, of course, ninja-like uniforms with hoods and masks are required to make it harder for the players to recognize their opponents."  
-"Mmm, and those clothes look definitely flattering on their well-trained bodies, don't yoy agree, my naughty bookworm?" Ise Nanao merely curved her eyebrow in acknowledgement.  
-"Hehe, in fact, that's why we keep coming", finally added Yachiru after staring non-stop at the field below. "Kiyone and I even have this guessing game we play every time we come. You may join us if you want, but let me tell you there's no way in hell my Byakushi-kun can escape my sight."  
-"He plays here, too? Awesome!"  
-"Well, he's got a thing for traditions, you know."  
-"Yeah, and he looks sooo damn good on that uniform…", said Kiyone dreamily, oblivious of Yachiru's dangerous look her way.  
-"So, do all top officers come here regularly?", asked Nanao immediately in order to change the subject.  
-"No. For example, Ken-chan doesn't care about this because killing isn't allowed, chibi taichou is always busy, and Rukia's captain is too fragile, so he's only come to cheer a couple of times."  
-"Hey, girls! Too much talking already, we're gonna miss the good stuff!"

… 12 minutes later…

Time was passing fast down at the pitch, and things were turning rougher by the second. Fighting was as important as food in Soul Society, but what was going on right before their eyes was a whole new level of training; it was an art. Even losing a match there couldn't really be considered losing, but a privilege. Apparently, only captains and fukutaicho's who had formally started their bankai training could participate, provided that they accepted all the conditions and rules, of course. Nevertheless, it wasn't the adrenaline what was risking the four female officers from being caught, but the… _humidity_. No, it wasn't raining –though they were beginning to wish it were-, it was the sweat coming from the fighters' bodies which, combined with the thin material of their uniforms, had started to cling to them in all the right places. As a result, keeping their reiatsu hidden became difficult at one point; but, luckily, the detection of a few of their previous calendar's victims among the fighting gang –and the corresponding spicy, silly comments it provoked-, helped them laugh away from their sinful thoughts. The usual suspects seemed to be there, as always. Renji, Ikkaku, Yumichika,… even the lazy Omaeda had shown up looking for a good fight.

Matsumoto R.: "These guys… really!"  
Kotetsu K.: "Yeah, they're been beat… with the exception of Ikkaku, that is. I'm still not sure who he's facing right now, but it really shows he's a captain now. They kick serious ass here, don't they?"  
Kusajishi Y.: "Well, captains can't dare go easy on their own peers, Kiyone-chan; that would be rude!"  
Matsumoto R.: "Guess you're right there, Yachiru-chan. Oh, and I think I've figured out which one is your _Byakushi-kun_ already, you know?"  
Kusajishi Y.: "Big deal! Just look for the toughest body on the field."  
Kotetsu K.: "Boo, I keep losing him. What about you, Nanao-san?"  
Ise N.: "…"  
Matsumoto R.: "Seireitei to Nanao-chan. Are you still with us?"  
Kotetsu K.: "Oooh, are you daydreaming with one of the guys, Nanao-san? Who is it?"  
Ise N.: "It's nothing. I'm just… admiring their fighting skills."  
Matsumoto R.: "Riiight. And, of course, the fact that that black, yet extremely thin fabric of their combat uniforms leaves very little to the imagination has nothing to do with your _admiration_, uh?"  
Kotetsu K.: "Wow! She's actually blushing now! I just have to know who she's looking at. Let's see…"  
Kusajishi Y.: "Ha! You're too slow, girls. It's pretty obvious she's all smitten for that guy who's just finished kicking Omaeda's ass hard and fast."  
Matsumoto R.: "Omaeda's out? Way to go! All the captains hate him, let me tell you. Even my boss says he's a disgrace to Seireitei's already poor reputation."  
Kotetsu K.: "True. I still don't get how he got to be Soifon's assistant."  
Matsumoto R.: "Yeah… but, never mind that now. Who's Mr. Gorgeous Ass down there, Nanao-chan? He's not quite your type, is he? I'm usually the one looking for something hard to grab at, hehe."  
Kotetsu K.: "Mmm, who really gives a damn with a body like that?"  
Kusajishi Y.: "Well, he definitely looks more than edible from here. Pity my Byakushi has gotten his eyes on him; he'll be biting the dust in no time."  
Matsumoto R.: "Oooh, two hot guys together in a hand-to-hand combat!"  
Kotetsu K.: "The perfect ingredients for a steamy, forbidden love story!"  
Ise N.: "Pair of idiots… Okay, okay; I'll admit he's the one I've been focused on, but I've actually been more intrigued by his fighting technique than his... well, other attributes."  
Matsumoto R. & Kotetsu K.: "Suuure!"  
Ise N.: "Fine, don't believe me; but if you want to keep on annoying me, then tell me who is him first, okay?"  
Kusajishi Y.: "Fuck! Whoever it is, he's surviving my Byakushi, so I don't like him very much now."  
Kotetsu K.: "Mmm, that rookie sure is fast, nee? Or do you think it's just luck? After all, I don't remember seeing him here before…"  
Ise N.: "It isn't luck, he's simply extremely fast. And I just feel like I've seen those moves before, you know? Long ago, perhaps… "  
Matsumoto R.: "Someone we know, then? Let's see…"  
Kotetsu K.: "But they move so fast! Those two really make me feel ashamed of my own skills. And-oh, look! Nanao-san's mysterious lover is even daring Kuchiki taichou to reach him!"  
Kusajishi Y.: "Okay, this is it! I'm already disappointed at watching my Byakushi take so long to finish some nameless guy, but to let that jerk act all cocky on him…? Can you believe that, sempai-chan?"  
Kotetsu K.: "Matsumoto-san, are you alright? You look terribly pale!"  
Matsumoto R.: "I… I… no, I'm… okay…"  
Ise N.: "Oh, my… Matsumoto-"  
Matsumoto R.: "I said I'm okay, Nanao! I'm leaving now, but you can stay to… watch, if you like."  
Kotetsu K.: "Bu-but, you can't leave at this point, Matsumoto-san! They're too close; we might get caught!"  
Kusajishi Y.: "The hell with being caught… this guy's going down!"  
Ise N. & Kotetsu K.: "No!"

But it was too late. In what seemed like less than a fraction of a second, a frosty breeze filled the air in the four female officer's direction, freezing the pink-headed's attack immediately. The fukutaicho in question, however, didn't look fearful at all, but rather satisfied at having obtained what she'd been looking for. In the middle of the ring, right next to the object of her obsession, stood the only captain-level shinigami who could summon the most powerful ice zanpakutou with a simple twist of his hand. As inevitable as it already was to conceal his identity any longer –and not being too keen on people staring at him-, Hitsugaya Toushiro revealed himself.

XXXXX XXXXX XXXXX

Author's (very short) note:

Are you as excited as I was when I wrote this chapter? I can't really give any hints about what is to come, but I'd still appreciate it if you keep sending me your reviews. They are like my fuel, you know? I'll do my best to send my replies (and update, of course) more often.

Arigatou-merci-gracias-thanks! :D


	17. Chapter 17 The puzzle

Chapter 17.-

The puzzle

"May I come in, Hitsugaya taichou?"

"Eh? Oh, my captain isn't here, Nanao-chan."

"I see. I was actually hoping he wasn't. How is… everything?"

"Fine. Lots of paperwork and other boring tasks, as always. Do you have something for us?"

"No, nothing. Matsumoto…"

"What?"

"Come on, Matsumoto. You know why I am here, don't you? Yesterday was-"

"An utter bummer?"

"That's… a way to put it, yes. However, apart from Hitsugaya taichou's reaction yesterday at the second division, I came because I just heard about the SWA's decision."

"Oh, my other fiasco you mean? Well, I would be lying to you if I said I didn't expect my request to be dismissed; but, looking at the bright side, I don't have to worry about his ass being exposed anymore. Since he no longer _looks_ like an infant, he'll have to suck it up like a man."

"This was never really about his appearance, Matsumoto. Besides, he's been an adult for a long time already; the fact that it wasn't evident is simply-"

"Oh, please! He may appear to be older now, but he's still a spoiled, grumpy kid. Child genius, my ass!" Nanao sighed.

"Maybe, but he was already angry at you, remember?"

"Stop defending him, Nanao! Just… leave it, ok?"

"Fine. Guess I'll get going, then."

"No! Please, stay for a bit, Nanao-chan. Shit! I'm so sorry. I know I just sounded like a bitter old spinster right now."

"It's okay, Matsumoto."

"No, it isn't. I'm all worked up because of the stupid lecture he gave me here yesterday. Ungrateful, teenage captain! He didn't even care to tell me a thing about his condition, nor about his stay at the human world. What am I, his servant?"

"Alright, alright, just cool down, Matsumoto, and look at me. You can't let your frustration get the best of you, got it?"

"Yeah, right."

"You don't sound very convinced."

"I need time to breathe, that's all. By the way, you wanna go for a beer?"

"Matsumoto…"

"Oh, yes… work."

"Exactly."

"Damn! You know, Nanao-chan, sometimes I wish we could exchange divisions."

"Oh, here we go again…"

"No, really. Just listen to me for a minute. You'd be thrilled to work with my taichou: morally predictable, and too responsible for his own health; while on the other hand, Shunsui's job schedule would go perfectly fine with mine, much more relaxed and less… tedious."

"No comments."

"I know, I know. But, dreaming is free, isn't it?"

"Believe me, Matsumoto, you don't have a clue what you're wishing for."

"Haha, if you say so."

"You're indeed delusional, Matsumoto. I got to go now."

"Oh, sure, but promise you'll meet me at the bar tonight to have a few drinks with me, ok? I _really_ need a boost and I'm sure the guys will be there!"

"I promise I'll try."

"Come on, Nanao-chan."

"I said I'll _try_, Matsumoto!"

"I'll buy you a hot shot of sake if you go."

"Matsumoto…"

"Okay, I get it; just try _very hard_ to go."

"Bye, Matsumoto."

"See ya!"

XXXXXX

_The day before –at the second division's traditional fighting ring… _

_When the captain of the tenth division took his mask off to reveal his trademark teal eyes, the air escaped out of the lungs of the four female fukutaicho's sitting on the coliseum's benches opposite him. Their expressions were all of utter surprise, and though each showed signs of different emotions behind them, there was something that could not be questioned: the man staring back at them with a piercing, demanding look, was quite a sight to behold. _

_Indeed, the man in question had never looked like anything other than a child before. However, standing at a height slightly above average now, his mere presence shattered his old image into a thousand pieces that nobody with common sense would miss. His skin remained as porcelain pale as always, but his formerly short, lean physique had now given way to a fully grown, toned body and broad shoulders that were pleasantly proportioned, yet definitely strong and powerful. The white locks framing his once boyish, round face, seemed more tamed than in earlier days, letting a small fringe form above his long eyelashes, similar to the one he wore during his life at Rukongai. His tiny, pointy nose had been replaced by a longer and thinner one, though with the tip still a bit turned up. Altogether, his facial features had become more angular and mature; making it difficult for anyone who had known him before to assimilate the change easily. And, to top it all, his unique teal orbs had now a definite diamond shape that made the young captain look less naïve than before… _

_In fact, there was certainly no ingenuousness in his eyes now. Irritated by the protracted, silent stares he was getting from the four subordinates in front of him, Hitsugaya Toushiro approached them swiftly, leaving Kuchiki Byakuya in the middle of the arena, with a bored expression on his face. As if awoken by his shunpo, three of the female lieutenants in question –except for Matsumoto Rangiku- immediately greeted him. Nanao and Kiyone actually had the decency of blushing at being caught by the recently arrived officer, whereas the eleventh's pink menace openly scrutinized him with a mischievous grin curving her lips. His own fukutaicho, on the other hand, didn't seem to trust what she was seeing. _

_Hitsugaya T.: "Good afternoon." _

_Ise N.: "Hitsugaya taichou, excuse us, we-"_

_Hitsugaya T.: "No need to apologize, Nanao-san. I just have one question for you. What are you doing here?" _

_Kotetsu K.: "Well, to be honest with you, Hi-Hitsugaya taichou, we came to take a quick look at the competition, really." _

_Hitsugaya T.: "This is not a sports' tournament, Kotetsu-san."_

_Kotetsu K.: "I understand."_

_Ise N.: "If I may, Hitsugaya taichou, we aren't here to enjoy a show or anything."_

_Kusajishi Y.: "Speak for yourself, Nanao-chan. Look, no-longer-chibi taichou, we came out of curiosity, as simple as that; and l don't regret coming here at all. Can I go, now?"_

_Hitsugaya T.: "No. You launched an attack at a superior officer. However minimal, you know full well what the punishment for that action is."_

_Kusajishi Y.: "But it was harmless!"_

_Hitsugaya T.: "Sure, which is why you'll get a week's worth of paperwork for my division, instead of a meeting with the Soutaicho."_

_Kusajishi Y.: "Shit! I'll take the paper stuff, then; just don't send me to the old geezer's office or I'll bore myself to death."_

_Ise N.: "Kusajishi-san!"_

_Kusajishi Y.: "What? Everybody knows it! That's the old man's real bankai, I tell you."_

_Hitsugaya T.: "Kusajishi-san…"_

_Kusajishi Y.: "Yes, hot taichou, I mean, whitey taichou?"_

_Hitsugaya T.: "You… argh! Just leave, Kusajishi-san, before I get a headache." (He closed his eyes momentarily, while taking his hand to his temple in a sign of pain; a small flush colored his cheeks for a few seconds, but disappeared almost instantly)_

_Kotetsu K.: "Ehem,… Hitsugaya taichou? May we go, too? We're really sorry."_

_Hitsugaya T.: "What? Oh, yes please. You and Nanao-san should better return to your respective divisions and report to your captains."_

_Kotetsu K. & Ise N.: "Thank you, sir. Excuse us." (Matsumoto, however, also made her turn to leave)_

_Hitsugaya T.: "Matsumoto!"_

_Matsumoto R.: "Yes?"_

_Hitsugaya T.: "Where do you think you're going?"_

_Matsumoto R.: "To the division. Didn't you just say-"_

_Hitsugaya T.: "Don't play dumb with me, Matsumoto. Not after keeping your mouth shut throughout this whole scene."_

_Matsumoto R.: "Well, I do feel kind of dumb right now, sir."_

_Hitsugaya T.: "Do you?"_

_Matsumoto R.: "Sure. After all, I still think you're in the medical wing, following an extremely strict treatment." _

_Hitsugaya T.: "Oh, I see. Go back to the office, Matsumoto. My twin brother we'll meet you there in less than an hour. I hope you can explain to him what you've been devoting your time to during the last month."_

_Matsumoto R.: "Fine."_

End of the flashback

XXXXXX

Author's note:

Hello, everyone! As you can see, I'm back with a short chapter, but I assure you I have half of the next one already in the oven, so don't you worry –I just want it to be a bit longer than this chapter, you know? Anyways, looking forward to your reviews, as always! ;)


	18. Chapter 18 The night of the butterfly

**Chapter 18.- **

**The night of the butterfly **

Three weeks had already passed since the publication of the infamous calendar featuring Seireitei's better-looking male officers; however, its repercussions were far from ceasing; if anything, they were increasing. Consequently, so did their sales, much to the SWA's members delight. Additionally, thanks to several spicy –and probably false- rumors spread by Yachiru's Machiavellic mind, the popularity of various of the "models" involved had reached such levels, some of them were even facing the torturous task of having to deal with something they feared more than any other creature in the world: stalkers.

The details of the incidents ensued by this growing menace were usually kept in strict confidence; except for a few that had definitely passed to their history records as the most embarrassing moments experienced in Seireitei. It was known through an anonymous, yet very reliable source, for example, that one fateful morning, Abarai Renji, celebrated fukutaicho of the sixth division, had exited the second division's showers to find that, to his horror, his complete uniform had been stolen, right before his urgent meeting at the Soutaicho's head office. Fearing the Gotei 13's disapproval, it is said that the energetic shinigami nearly broke Yoruichi's speed when shoonpoing back to his quarters –which were, coincidentally, on the other side of Seiretei- that day… in all his naked glory. The look on his taichou's face at seeing him arrive in such a state was, as expected, priceless as per the declarations from the few unseated officers who were lucky enough to be there at the moment.

But apart from the funny side of the SWA's enterprise, romance had also started to appear among their members, proving that their attempts to attract the opposite sex were slowly working. One of the first ones to succeed in getting a boyfriend was, to her older sibling's surprise, Kotetsu Kiyone. No need to say, Kotsubaki had finally asked her to consider their daily meals together actual dates, and she had gracefully accepted. Indeed, the number of couples going out to eat or dance, was escalating little by little, multiplying the number of pubs and restaurants in turn.

And last, but not least, the rumors about a secret sex shop for women grew; however, it was difficult to prove, as it was supposed to work by some sort of private mail order no one in the male community had intercepted yet. What was highly suspected though, was the implication of a certain redheaded, voluptuous shinigami in the whole affair…

**_Soul Crusaders_ Pub & Disco – Friday night, 10:41 p.m. **

"Wow!"

"Oh, please, Matsumoto. Don't make a fuss, okay? Or I'll return to my quarters this instant and change back into my uniform."

"But, Nanao-chan, you look great!"

"Could you lower your tone, then?"

"Haha, don't be so shy, Nanao-chan. Besides, this place is full these days, don't worry. But you know, if you got it, flaunt it!"

"Matsumoto…"

"Hey, I mean it. I've told you this a hundred times, haven't I? You are the only woman in Seireitei whose beauty and coolness I honestly envy out of everyone else's; so no need to hide, ok?

"Mmm, If you say so. However, you know this isn't about lack of confidence. I just don't enjoy being stared at", said Ise Nanao in a vulnerable tone that her accomplice identified easily.

"Come on, Nanao-chan. You understand, for example, why I chose this somewhat indecent dressing code, don't you?"

"Yeah, yeah, you do it to at least give people a valid reason to stare."

"Sure, and to tempt them into approaching me, and have a taste of my fist! Sweet kami, I love hitting men sooo much!"

"Right, but I'm just wearing a simple shirt and a long skirt. Nothing to turn men into wild animals."

"Haha, I wouldn't bet on it. Men around here aren't used to seeing women around them wearing anything different from our black and white uniforms, so..."

"I get it, I get it," interrupted a half-irritated Nanao sighing tiredly. "What are you drinking, by the way?"

"Oops! How inconsiderate of me! This is a citric sake, my friend. Want one? It's Kim-chan's latest creation." As if in queue, the short, yet extremely young and good-looking female bartender in question, greeted Nanao from behind the counter. Nanao returned the greeting, then looked at her colleague's drink with interest.

"Maybe I'll join you with one… is it too citric?"

"A bit, but don't forget, it is my treat for having you here after such a long time, so you're free to try whatever you wish!" answered Matsumoto enthusiastically.

"Fine, treat me, then."

"Woo hoo! I'm so glad you've come, Nanao-chan! I sure as hell need a reliable drinking partner."

"Why is that?"

"Argh… I've been working my ass off at the office, that's why! I don't think I like this too big, too cold captain, you know?"

"Again, you knew this was coming, Matsumoto. And, by the way, he's not too big. He's just a little above your height now...", said Nanao with a faraway look on her face, as if trying to figure out something important, "he must be about an inch smaller than Kuchiki taichou. Or at least, that's what I can remember from the fighting training we saw the other day."

"Is he? Guess you took a better look at him than I did that afternoon", answered Matsumoto, a serious expression suddenly crossing her features as she saw a wave of embarrassment heat reach the bespectacled woman's cheeks for an instant. Immediately, Matsumoto added with a smile, "Sorry, Nanao-chan. I have been doing so many errands these days, that I haven't even paid attention to my surroundings. To be honest, I haven't even shared the office with my captain for more than a few minutes since he came back."

Before Nanao could answer, however, Abarai Renji, Ayasegawa Yumichika, and Kira Izuru approached them out of nowhere, making both jump.

"Fuck! You, three idiots!"

"Oops! Sorry, Matsumoto, Nanao-san. We thought you had seen us", said the tattooed fukutaicho at the negative reaction they had provoked.

"I think we just interrupted a private conversation, didn't we ladies?", asked Yumichika appearing from behind his clumsy drinking partner. "Told you now to scare them like this, fool!"

"Don't worry guys, you've already interrupted us", said Nanao, breathing heavily after the shock.

"Sure! Why don't you join us with a few drinks for a while? We can continue talking about the calendar pictures later, can't we, Nanao-chan?", replied Matsumoto with a wink. Yumichika and Izuru laughed openly at her cheek, while Renji simply froze on the spot.

"Ssh! Matsumoto! Don't mention that fucking calendar here!"

"Oh, come on, Renji! I've heard _very_ good comments on your pictures…"

"I don't care! You don't know how crazy these girls can be; and it's all your fault, you know? That damn SWA!", he exclaimed incensed, his whole face the color of his hair now.

"Speak for yourself, punk; my fame as an artistic director has gone to the roof with their last project."

"Shup up, Yumichika! And stop calling me punk! You laugh at my hair, when you can't even take those stupid feathers from yours. You look like an old peacock!"

"I've told you already, Abarai. I'm not changing my hairdo until someone, anyone, shows me a decent, stunning haircut. Then, I promise I'll even take my fashionable feathers off, got it?"

"Okay guys, calm down", said Izuru finally to stop the pointless argument between his two friends. "Chill out, or you're staying out of the VIP area tonight, understood?" His friends immediately fell silent, however, kept glaring daggers at each other.

"Have others come?", asked Nanao suddenly tense.

"Sure, Shuuhei, Kyoraku, and even captain Ukitake are here. They're seating in the VIP area, though."

"Yeah", interjected Renji awkwardly, "you know, away from the occasional dreamy couple."

"Oh, don't be so grumpy, Abarai. Love is in the air", said Izuru contentedly.

"Shut up, man; and quit grinning like a fool. You're just happy because Hinamori decided to come with us for the first time in her life."

"Hinamori Momo is _here_?", asked Matsumoto incredulously.

"Yes, she decided to tag along tonight. Don't have a clue as to why, really. She can't control her alcohol", admitted the blonde man worriedly.

"She doesn't?", asked the busty woman with a wicked gleam in her pale blue eyes.

"Haha, I recognize that smile, Matsumoto-san, but I'll have to be clear with you. I don't want my wife to end up involved in any dirty business, okay? It's more than enough with her participation in the SWA; so please, be careful with her. She was quite excited at the possibility of meeting you here, as a matter of fact. Why don't you look for her? I think she was talking with Isane-san near the entrance. I gotta get going though, I'll take these two with me into the VIP area. See you later!"

And with that, the boisterous trio finally left them alone, disappearing rapidly into the crowd. The two women continued sipping their drinks silently for a few minutes, processing the information they had received.

"Are you okay, Matsumoto?"

"Mmm?"  
"I asked if you felt alright, Matsumoto. I just learned from our colleagues that my infuriating captain has come, however, I'm sure I do not look as troubled as you do now."

"Oh! Sorry, Nanao-chan. I just spaced out."

"Want to talk about it?"

"N-no, no… well, I'm just a bit curious… about Hinamori."

"About her coming to a place like this, you mean? Yes, I'd say it is strange, but-"

"No, I don't mean that. It's just that… Kira said she was excited to find _me_ here."

"Uhm. Aren't you two getting along better since the end of the war? You told me she had even jointed you a couple of months ago to –oh!"

"Yeah, you've remembered, eh? Indeed, the only subject she could search for me to talk about is always-"

"Let me guess, Hitsugaya taichou?"

Matsumoto nodded with a grim expression on her face.

"But… I don't think she'll insist with the formal request to exclude him for the project, right? It's already been dismissed by the board and all. Unohana taichou was actually quite adamant to accept that request, you know?"

"Fuck! Unohana taichou!"

"What with her?"

"I forgot to warn her! I have been running so much all day with these bloody errands, I completely forgot to tell her about this morning. I really screwed it up!"

"Oh, for Kami's sake, Matsumoto; what did you do? Don't tell me Hitsugaya taichou found out about the project?"

"No! But he did find something else, and he's not an idiot… shit! Hinamori is coming this way. Tell her I got to run for some work-related stuff, okay? I promise I'll tell you everything tomorrow!"

"Matsumoto-san! Where is she going? Is everything alright?", asked a disappointed Hinamori at Nanao.

"No, it's just some paperwork she forgot to deliver, apparently."

"Oh! I so wanted to talk with her…"

"Is it urgent, Hinamori-san?"

"No, I'm just worried about Shiro-kun", admitted the petite shinigami, lowering her eyes.

"I can imagine, but we still have to wait for our monthly sales' results."

"Yeah, that's actually what bothers me the most… I doubt we will lose."

**The same night, a little past 10 p.m.…**

The streets surrounding the fourth division felt peacefully quiet after the sunset ended, and the hospital wing inside was mostly dark, probably thanks to the low number of patients at the moment. Indeed, the only ones who seemed to be working still were the head of the division and her assistant. Given that, consequently, there would be no one around to eavesdrop, the officer approaching them decided not to postpone the delicate conversation any further. After all, when would he have the time to come back? What with the soutaicho's tests, his daily responsibilities and, of course, his fukutaicho's attitude lately, he had more than enough in his plate these days. Not to mention the cherry on top of the ice-cream, which had literally _fallen_ on top of _his head _that same morning. And as much as he would prefer to blame Matsumoto –and only her- for it, he couldn't be so blind as to ignore that there was obviously _a higher power_ behind Seireitei's latest gossips. To be honest though, he had to admit that the lady in question was certainly a force to be reckoned with. The white-haired man sighed in defeat, setting his previous thoughts aside, and knocked the main office's door to announce his arrival.

"Isane-san, please open the door to Hitsugaya taichou".

"Eeh? Yes, captain."

The tall fukutaicho obeyed, and opened the door for their visitor to come in. She had to admit that, despite being one of the few who had already seen him like _this_ before his public appearance, it didn't make it any easier for her not to stare at the (now) man in front of her.

"Hitsugaya taichou, please come in."

"Thank you, Kotetsu-san."

"Welcome, Toushiro. How are you feeling?", asked Unohana calmly, resting her hands over her spacious desk, while the young captain took a seat.

"I'm… tired."

"I can imagine. I heard about the _treatment_ you received from Kisuke. Is it working?"

"Yes. I think I might stop needing it in a couple of weeks."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Mmm… I do appreciate what you've done for me, Unohana; however-"

"It isn't precisely the reason why you're here, is it? I hope I can be of help."

"I'm sure you can."

"I'm listening."

"I know you authorized my fukutaicho's trip to the human world during my absence. Could you confirm if it had, by any chance, something to do with the Shinigami Women Association?"

"Yes, it did, among other tasks I asked her to do for this division of course, like buying medical supplies."

"I see." After a small pause, Hitsugaya crossed his arms over his chest and, visibly disgusted, he took out a dark bag he had been carrying with him, and placed it over her immaculate desk. "Does the object inside this bag qualify as medical supply?"

The healer captain sitting across from him kept her relaxed smile in place, despite the fact that she recognized her colleague's serious expression very well. _What has Matsumoto done this time?_ Her keen eye told her the options were not good; and the few ideas she could consider as to what could be in that bag, were all incredibly compromising. Her own subordinate, on the other hand, appeared to have no inkling of it, causing her curiosity to become more obvious by the minute –the tea the clumsy fukutaicho was supposed to be serving was taking her far too much time to prepare to pass unnoticed by either of the captains. Accepting to play along, however, Unohana decided to reach for the mysterious bag and, to her unpleasant surprise, what she took out could only be described as an incredibly realistic male reproductive organ. It was, to be more precise, a 9-inch, phallic-shaped, deluxe vibrator made of high-quality plastic. Immediately, the tension in the air increased, only to be dispersed by the sudden noise of broken china coming from the other side of the room, where Kotetsu Kiyone stood, ashen-faced, and with a now empty tray on her hands.

"Kiyone-san, are you alright?"

"Ye-yeah… I'm so sorry, Unohana ta-taichou!"

"Please, don't worry about cleaning until tomorrow, it's already too late."

"But I-"

"Don't mind us, Kotetsu-san", interrupted Hitsugaya serenely. "Your captain and I still have a few things to discuss. You may leave."

Slightly ashamed and, as a matter of fact, reluctant to go, the tall fukutaicho had no other choice but to leave the two captains alone. Taking one last guilty look at the scene behind her, Isane closed the door, after which the conversation restarted, this time in a different tone.

"Hitsugaya-san," began the old healer appealing to her colleague's appreciation for all formalities, "I understand very well why you'd correctly assume this… object to be human-made, but I would like to know the reason why you'd think the SWA to be involved in the purchase of any similar item."

"Are you telling me you ignore what it is?"

"Oh, no. It isn't my intention to lie to you. I know what the object in that bag is as I have heard about it recently. Do you think it is related to the SWA, Hitsugaya-san?"

"What I would like to confirm is why did Matsumoto purchased this during her SWA-funded trip to the human world."

"I see... Do you already know what this is used for, Toushirou?"

"I… have an idea", answered Hitsugaya awkwardly.

"Well then, I think you already got the answer there." Making a long pause, Unohana smiled gently at him, and then looked at the bag pointedly. Puzzled, the ice prince followed her gaze, until the full meaning of her words dawned on him, and his teal eyes became the size of shiny saucers; his face red with a mix of controlled anger and embarrassment.

"Unohana-san," he breathed, calculating his words before continuing, "I do not put it pass my fukutaicho to… do whatever she wishes when unsupervised; but I doubt she might, under any circumstance, buy around five dozens of these _items_ for _herself_, and even less _pay_ for them with her _own_ money!", he finished with as much indignation as he could muster.

"May I ask, Hitsugaya-san, how can you be sure that she bought so many of these-"

"Because they all _fell_ over _me_ this morning while I was making tea in _my_ division's kitchen!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Matsumoto had stored them in the top drawer of our kitchen's cabinet, apparently thinking that I would not… _look_ in there."

At this point, not even Unohana taichou could stop herself from hiding her amusement. Fighting back a laugh, with very little accomplishment, the braided-hair woman looked down momentarily to escape his murderous glare. The former boy genius was certainly gutsy to demand an explanation from her in person, despite the awkwardness the subject in question could produce.

"I'm so sorry you had to… experience something like that, Toushirou. It must have been quite disturbing."

"Offensive, would be more accurate. But, I'm not here to-"

"Oh, I understand very well why you came, but I must assure you that the SWA board was not informed of any purchases made in the human world, except for some implements that were required for the calendar we published not far ago."

"Right… the calendar. You association does seem to have been incredibly busy this summer."

"Indeed, we have been terribly busy; but I'm sure it is hard for you to understand how complex it really is to help these poor girls."

"Help them? How? By taking their money in exchange of cheap nude calendars showing their own male colleagues posing for every month of the year? Most of us don't even count years here!"

"Precisely."

"What do you mean?"

"Men in Seireitei don't count years, don't count fights, and most certainly don't take a second look at the women accompanying them. That's something that any woman would resent."

"Excuse me, Unohana taichou, but I don't see how their feelings get mixed into this circus."

"Which is very painful, Hitsugaya-san. The women here have needs, and are tired of hiding it just because men don't care. They want romance, adventure, and why not, _pleasure_." The white-haired captain rolled his eyes boringly, looking away from her, yet couldn't hide the soft pink shade that had assaulted his otherwise pale-as-marble cheeks. At this, the healer captain in front of him smiled maliciously, adding:

"I know you do not posses as much experience yet, Toushirou; but I am hopeful you will acknowledge that simple truth about women soon. After all, you have grown into such a beautiful man. Believe me, I would teach you myself if I were any younger."

Checkmate. If his cheeks had been just slightly pink a moment ago, they were now a deep shade of red. He was positively speechless. Being teaser by a peer was one thing, but _this? _

While he was in the middle of a private battle to hold himself back from all sorts of inadequate possible responses, his karma decided to smack him in the face. Unannounced -as always-, completely drenched by the rain, and wearing a too-tight purple mini dress with her trademark revealing cleavage, none other than his very own fukutaicho, Matsumoto Rangiku, chose than exact instant to burst through the door to interrupt their already distressing conversation.

Breathless, with her hair half-covering her face, and her hands clutching her knees to recover her energy, the unexpected visitor spoke as in rush.

"Unohana taichou! I'm so sorry. You don't know. I fucked it up!"

"Matsumoto-san, please-"

"I don't need to seat down, really! I just came to warn you-"

"Matsumoto-san, you're interrupting a conversation!"

"Eeh?"

"I think she means to say that you came too late, Matsumoto."

At the unmistakable -though a little rougher now- sound of her captain's voice, the ash-cat wielder cursed between her teeth audibly. Defeated, she straightened up as much as her dress and her pride allowed her, to face her interlocutors. The president of her association appeared to be, thankfully, as calmed as ever; however, her superior officer glared at her reproachfully. To her horror, she did not fail to notice the object lying in the centre of Unohana's large desk.

"Fuck!"

"Matsumoto!"

"Matsumoto-san, your captain and I have just discussed what happened this morning at your division. Thank you for trying to alert me of his discomfort, but I believe we've already understood each other, haven't we, Toushirou?"

Hitsugaya, who was still reading Matsumoto's expressions, turned around at the mention of his name.

"Sure. Now, if you will excuse me, Retsu-san, I have to go back to my office to complete some urgent paperwork. In the mean time, however, I will appreciate if you could help my fukutaicho make the necessary arrangements to move all of her recent purchases from the human world into the SWA's headquarters. I am positive they can be of much better use there, than at my office."

"Thank you, Hitsugaya-san", replied the healer, amused at Toushirou's clever solution.

Standing up to leave, he paused at Matsumoto's side, glancing at her for a split second. The redheaded shinigami was surprised at the closeness between them now that he had returned so… changed. Indeed, he was now a few inches taller than her, so that her head was at the level of his chin. She hadn't noticed that in previous days.

"I'll be waiting for you to return to the division, Matsumoto"

She followed his retreating image, but the ice prince continued his way towards the door she had crossed barely a few minutes ago, and left without saying another word. The captain of the fourth division smiled at the scene.

_This will be fun._

**XXXXXXX**

**__Author's note: Hi, again! Hope you liked this new chapter. Please, do not forget to send me your comments. Cheers! ;)  
**


	19. Chapter 19 Conversations in the air

**Chapter 19.-**

**Conversations in the air…**

**Terms and conditions…**

It had been such an exhausting week. What with his return to work after nearly two months of absence and his draining late-night discussion with Unohana, it felt unfair to go back to his office to continue filling out reports. Nevertheless, he had to do it, and for two powerful reasons. The first, was that the Soutaicho had been asked to test all the captains to look for a possible replacement, which entailed lots of boring meetings and grueling exercises; and the second, was basically to reinstate a sense of order inside his division. Leaving Matsumoto alone in charge of everything was certainly too much of a hazard, but he hadn't had a choice. His dangerously unstable reiatsu had proved to be impossible to handle by anyone in Seireitei's medical wing, and Urahara's risky treatment in the human world turned out to be his only alternative.

Toushirou sat at his desk, and sighed heavily, remembering the arduous therapy the mad scientist had designed for him. Almost unconsciously, he glanced at his left ankle, where a delicate chain pressed against his skin as a souvenir. He was about to bend down to adjust it, when the spiritual energy of his irresponsible fukutaicho reached him. A few seconds later, Matsumoto Rangiku opened the door with a defeated expression on her face. Their eyes met briefly, before she let her head fall to let him know that she was –at least a bit- ashamed.

H.T.: Come here, Matsumoto.

M.R.: Yes …sir.

H.T.: Matsumoto, before you try to excuse yourself, I will ask you not to give me any further explanations at this point with regards to your role in the SWA's latest plans. I have already discussed the subject more than I would have liked to with the fourth division's captain, so it is closed.

M.R.: I understand.

H.T.: Now, I do not doubt you were definitely not alone in it; however, it isn't my problem if people from other divisions decided to participate as well. You and your reputation are my responsibility.

M.R.: I'm sorry, sir.

H.T.: I hope you are, Matsumoto. I don't know how many times I have to remind you that next time you screw it up, I might not be able to save your ass, and you will lose your rank. Speaking of which, I want to invite you, once again, to continue practicing to achieve bankai, Matsumoto.

M.R.: But-

H.T.: I am well aware that last month you told me you weren't interested, Matsumoto. I just want you to reconsider it, because it would be incredibly helpful for both.

M.R.: I don't feel ready yet.

H.T.: I see… Well, I trust you know where to find me in case you change your mind. If you have nothing else to say though, you can leave now, Matsumoto.

M.R.: May I ask something, taichou?

Toushirou, who had already turned to his paperwork, looked up again at her slightly relieved. The redheaded was acting strangely formal and detached lately, and hadn't even addressed him by his rank since his return.

H.T.: Yes, Matsumoto?

M.R.: What were you doing at the human world?

H.T.: Oh! I-

Unexpectedly, a hell butterfly entered through the window and circled Hitsugaya, until it lay still on his hand.

H.T.: Damn!

M.R. : Is there anything wrong, sir?

H.T.: No, just… another urgent meeting with the Soutaicho. Matsumoto, I have to leave immediately. We will continue tomorrow, if the old man lets us. I will ask you, however, to show up to work early. There is too much paperwork here that needs to be finished, and I don't want Mira-san to take care of it alone, considering she hasn't recovered from her injury yet.

M.R.: Sure…

H.T. : And, Matsumoto?

M.R.: Yes?

H.T.: Stop calling me "sir". Taichou is fine.

Without looking back at his subordinate, the ice wielder exited his office, despite his increasing exhaustion. The woman behind him smiled grimly, turning to the mountain of reports over her boss' desk.

M.R.: Merry-fucking-Christmas, Matsumoto!

**The cookie factor**

"Sis-Oh! Sorry, imouto! I-I'm so sorry!", apologized an incredibly flustered Isane, having interrupted a heated kissing session between her younger sister and her boyfriend, Kotsubaki Sentarou.

"Hahaha, don't worry, sis! Come in! Can you leave us alone, love?"

"Of course, of course. My apologies, Isane-san. Please be sure that my intentions are-"

"Honey, calm down. You don't have to ask for my hand just because she caught us making out. I'll see you at lunch", assured Kiyone amused. Sentarou didn't seem to relax at all with her words, but decided to do as he was told, and left the two siblings alone to talk in private.

"I keep forgetting about your relationship. I really am sorry."

"No need to worry, onee-chan. I already said it's fine, didn't I?"

"Yeah…"

"By the way, why did you come all the way here to see me during working hours?"

"Well, I kind of need your help again. Actually, this time, even my own captain asked me to coordinate this with you."

"Really? How exciting! So it is related to our secret project, I guess?"

"Yes. She is a bit worried about the deadline so she wants us to do a bit of publicity to make sure the other calendar is approved."

"Mmm, have the sales dropped?"

"Not really, but they haven't increased these days either. She reckons we should start a subtle campaign showing the male captains to encourage our audience."

"I see. But what can we… oooh! I have an idea!"

"Already?"

"Yes, yes, yes! It will be great, trust me."

"I-I do, but what is it?"

"I'll tell you in a minute. First, we need to get a camera!"

"A camera?"

"A camera? You need a camera, Isane-san?", interjected Hisagi Shuuhei from the hallway next to them. He was carrying a large lunchbox and a bottle of sake with a curious expression on his features.

"What? Oh, Shuu-, I mean, Hisagi-san!"

"Sorry for overhearing, Isane-san; but I was coming to have lunch with Ukitake taichou, when I overheard something about you needing a camera. What do you want it for?"

"We… well…", said the tall shinigami, completely lost due to her platonic love's presence.

"We need to do an assignment! Could you get one for us, Hisagi-san?", said her sister abruptly, taking advantage of the circumstances.

"Mmm, I don't know if the newspaper guys will let me take one. They've been pretty busy these days."

"Oh, come on! What about this? If you do us that favor, Isane here will prepare some of those chocolate cookies you like so much in exchange. Agreed?"

"I will?", asked Isane consufed.

"Wow! You mean those chocolate cookies with candy? I can't believe you still remember about those! I have to admit, Isane-san, yours are the best cookies I have ever tried. Last time I ate them I was about to sit the fukutaicho test, and I couldn't stop craving for more cookies during the whole examination!"

Isane was officially speechless, however, a bright smile appeared on her young face, making the tattooed captain smile back. Kiyone watched them pleased.

"It's settled, then? Can you bring the camera tomorrow? I'll have her cooking all night, so if you want them fresh…"

"Tomorrow? Well, I do want those cookies fresh. You've got a deal!"

"Great! You can go meet my captain now, then. I bet he's dead hungry right now."

"Right! Sorry, I just spaced out thinking about those delicious cookies. See you tomorrow, girls!"

"Bye, Hisagi-san!", yelled Kiyone loudly, to compensate for her sister's numb state. "Hey, you!"

"What?"

"Stop looking at his retreating shadow like a lost puppy! You have lots of cookies to prepare, so move it!"

"Oh, my! But, wait. What is the plan, then?"

"I'll tell you later, just leave it to me. Gotta go to have lunch with Kotsubaki now, though. See ya, and have fun at the kitchen!"

"Sweet kami, I must be out of my mind for trusting her. I'll have to ask my captain if I can take the afternoon off to have the cookies ready for tomorrow."

**The point of no return**

The sun was starting to rise, and the morning was still peacefully quiet outside. The inhabitants of the eighth division squad's main office, however, seemed to be quite awake. Or at least, that's what Ise Nanao deduced when she arrived earlier than usual to find a pile of male and female undergarments scattered all around the floor, including her taichou's trademark hat and pink haori. The smell of liquor hit her immediately, but not as painfully as the indistinctive smell of sex, coming from the other side of the room, which connected to her boss' private _studio_.

The cool woman was about to turn around and head back to her quarters, as she did every time this occurred, but decided to go through with her plan and stay. She had to talk to him, and he had to listen to her! No forced moans, no sounds of creaking mattresses, no bubbleheads would stop her now.

For what seemed like a lifetime, Nanao breathed in deeply to gather all her courage. After a couple of minutes, and without hesitation, she knocked hard on the door that divided both rooms, putting an end to her captain's activities inside. A moment later, the usually laid back shinigami came out of his studio wearing a black robe, a concerned expression on his face.

K.S.: Good morning, Nanao-chan. Is anything wrong? I didn't expect you-

I.N.: No, there is nothing wrong. It is just that I had decided to come a little earlier today in order to talk with you about something very important to me, but given that you're obviously busy-

K.S.: Well, I'm not exactly busy…

I.N.: Really? From what I heard, you were. In fact, I am pretty sure there is someone who awaits you right now, so I'll be quick.

K.S.: Sure, sure. Anything for you, Nanao-chan!

I.N.: Is that a promise?

K.S.: Of course!

I.N.: Very well, then. I want your permission to let me prepare myself for the captain examination next month, sir.

K.S.: I-what? Why?

I.N.: I'm taking the captain examination next month, sir.

K.S.: You are?

I.N.: Yes, sir. I have already registered for it. Nevertheless, I need some time to practice, preferably away from the division. Can I count with your support, sir? You said you'd do anything for me, so this is my request.

K.S.: Are you sure want to become a captain? I mean, being a captain is-

I.N.: A great responsibility? Yes, I am aware, sir. For that reason, and considering that the Soutaichou might be replaced soon, I want to be part of the list of possible captain replacements.

K.S.: May I ask if my… behavior has anything to do with your decision?

I.N.: I won't lie to you, sir. It isn't only that I wish to prove myself capable of passing this important test, but it also has a lot to do with the fact that I do not feel my work here is appreciated enough. So the answer is yes, you have… motivated me.

K.S.: But-

I.N.: I have already made up my mind, sir. Your attitude might have influenced my decision in a way, but I assure you I am very serious about this request. If you do not think I deserve your support, then-

K.S.: No! You… have my support, Nanao-san. If that's what you want.

I.N.: Thank you, sir. I won't take more of your time, then. I need to prepare everything to start my training as soon as possible.

K.S.: Wait! Before you leave, can you tell if there is anything else I could… help you with? I could be your coach, perhaps?

I.N.: Thank you sir, but no. I already have another person in mind. Besides, I wouldn't feel comfortable with you abandoning your duties solely to help me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go.

K.S.: Sure…

And with that, Ise Nanao closed her office's door behind her, and shunpooed as fast as she could in the direction of the tenth division. A mix of excitement and disappointment falling down her cheeks in the form of tears.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20.-**

**Burning down the house**

Hisagi Shuuhei had never asked too much of life. As a matter of fact, although he was going through a rough time after Matsumoto Rangiku had broken up with him, he still considered himself a lucky man. After all, he had learned very early what it was like to survive a close encounter with death, the real meaning of gratitude and, most importantly, his vocation. He was, indeed, a believer. Many colleagues thought he was too much of an optimist, as if it were a dangerous addiction or something similar; yet he remained cool. For that reason, when the soutaichou had asked him to sit the captain's test to fill the void left by his former taichou, he proudly accepted the offer; and when, recently, the guys from the SMA decided to pose for the women's calendar butt-naked, he also decided to go with the flow as the male leader he was, to stay true to himself. So, in other words, he embraced life as it came; and that day was supposed to be just one more carpe diem for him… except that it turned out to be quite the opposite.

That morning, he had left early for work, after spending most of the night dreaming of Isane-san's cookies. Stupid? Perhaps a bit, but those weren't ordinary cookies, not at all. He had been excited like a puppy before going to sleep because the flavor of those delicious cookies took him back to what were probably the best years of his life as an officer. Those golden years when he had been working as training supervisor for the shinigami academy; a job which, in turn, had allowed him to meet most of Seireitei's young promises, such as the amazing healer and unexpected master of all desserts, Isane Kotetsu. Their friendship, until today, had always been special to him, maybe because it was not based in gossips or secret desires; but in a simple, mutual love for pastries. As years passed, he convinced himself that that friendly affection would never vary. However, he had forgotten to take those delicious cookies into consideration. Totally. So, back in track, he had arrived early that morning to leave his division's paperwork ready, so that he could have some spare time to get a video camera from the newspaper, and check with Isane if the cookies where ready for him to claim them in exchange of the camera.

Everything had gone as planned. His fukutaicho had dealt with most of the paperwork on his own, the guys from the newspaper didn't mind him borrowing the camera, and the slightly cold weather told him Isane's dreamy cookies would be more than perfect to complete what seemed like a very relaxed afternoon. But things started deviating from his original plans little by little. When he arrived at the fourth division close to midday, his dear friend was nowhere to be found. In fact, the whole division seemed empty. After a few seconds though, healer after healer started to arrive with gravely injured shinigami from a distant direction in the east. The last medical unit, as expected, carried both the captain of the division, and the tall, young officer he had been waiting for. When they got to the entrance, her shocked, guilty expression and the bags below her eyes told him she hadn't had time to make the cookies. It didn't come as a surprise, however, that his friend, after being given the afternoon off by her boss, insisted on making the cookies for him. Shuuhei knew she was too obstinate for her own good, so he accepted her offer, and escorted her back to her quarters. As if automatically, the short-haired woman entered her home, took control of the kitchen, and started the preparation. A few moments later though, perhaps because of the dreamy look on his face, she invited him to help her, giving him the honor of learning her recipe. He followed every instruction like an obedient, humble student, eager to learn the mysteries behind the treasured cookies. They laughed, they played a bit, they cooked. Everything was perfect… until the cookies were ready for the oven.

Excited about his accomplishment, Shuuhei thought of no better idea, than proposing her a small toast to celebrate the occasion. And that was it. The powerful effect of the alcohol on his friend, had her going from a seemingly unstoppable fit of laughter, to worry about the attack related to the shinigami she had rescued that morning, to an unexpected depression. Tear after tear had started to fall from her almond-shaped eyes silently as she began to name all her shortcomings, each more personal and intimate than the previous one. He first tried to cheer her up by confessing to her all of his own defects, and telling her a couple of jokes, but it only made her blush harder and fall deeper into her private torture.

The cookie master was an inconsolable mess. But, when her self-deprecation went from her lack of confidence, naivety, and poor social life to her imposing height, small breasts, and weird hair, he just couldn't let her go on. Her words felt heavy in his chest. How could a woman so special fail to see her own beauty despite it being so obvious? So, true to his honest nature, he simply asked her precisely that. He should have known better though. The of mix of pure shyness and hope he could see in her warm, young-looking face overwhelmed him; and, as soon as she dared to ask him if he really meant it, he couldn't help but capture her lips in a swift move, without even considering what to do next, or whether she would kiss him back or not. Nevertheless, Isane Kotetsu, his old student and friend, did kiss him back. And quite seriously.

The kiss turned from slow to desperate, and before either of them could have expected it, they were twisting and turning over her sofa, half of their uniforms lying in the floor and the empty bottle of wine under her tea table, totally defeated. But their passionate make out session wasn´t the problem now. It was the other fire that kept him in a puddle of shame. It all happened so fast, like a fast chain of unfortunate events. To sum it all up, however, this is was occurred: the cookies got burnt, which scared Isane's wits to the point of accidentally hitting him in the crotch. Among the stars she made him see as a result, he could notice the clumsy fukutaicho tripping in the kitchen and sending another bottle of liqueur straight into her over. That's when the real fire started. He managed to react, but his decision to use water to put out the fire was dead wrong, and only made it worse. So, as he was clueless as to what else to do, and the woman next to him seemed in pain after her fall, he took her in his arms, and shunpooed away in time, right before her windows exploded.

When they got outside, a large group of colleagues and friends had already arrived to the scene. He remembered sighing in relief at watching them, but the expressions on their faces were… not exactly what he had expected. As a matter of fact, most of those shinigami were either looking at them in something close to shock, or blushing furiously and trying not to stare. He knew there had to be something off, but didn't realize what it was until Isane's shriek left him almost deaf that he felt utter embarrassment for the first time in his life. It was late. Her house was in flames. They had barely escaped… half naked.

The woman in his arms began to wriggle in a futile attempt to cover her exposed long legs, and grabbed him by the neck even harder. He, fortunately, still had his pants on. A few merciful women from the fourth division immediately asked their male colleagues to leave, while most their friends stayed. Their reactions, of course, were varied. Yumichika and Renji didn't seem to know whether to laugh or just stare, Ikkaku winked at him before choosing to leave, and Hinamori actually recovered from her impression and run to help put out the fire. But among them, he was suddenly petrified by a pair of surprised, light-blue eyes looking directly at him. Anyone in Seireitei could have identified that vivid red hair –and dangerous curves- from miles away. Matsumoto Rangiku, who had her hand on her mouth as a sign of surprise, locked eyes with him and, after whispering to herself something that resembled "shit!", made to turn around on the spot. Almost involuntarily though, he called her to prevent her from going back to her division. As if in queue, the weight on his neck and arms faded softly. When he turned to find out what had happened in the middle of his Matsumoto-induced stupor, he met another pair of eyes, this time deep brown and filled with pain. Instantly, the tall shinigami stood up, arranged her uniform as much as she could, thanked all of them for their concern, and shunpooed in the direction of her unit's dressing rooms. Kiyone, who had arrived short before her sister's escape, glared at him for a split second before shunpooing behind Isane.

The following couple of days, Shuuhei was completely incapable of finding her anywhere in Seireitei until, the third morning, he received a short note from her saying: "Hisagi-san, Unohana taichou told me you were looking for me, but I've been too busy to go by your office. About the other day, you really don't need to worry. We are still friends, after all. See you, Isane."

Somehow, Hisagi Shuuhei didn't feel lucky anymore…

**Bad romance**

Blood, sweat, and tears. That was what a regular shinigami could expect to find in the long journey to reaching bankai. Ise Nanao was perfectly aware of this before undertaking the monumental decision to prepare for the captainship examination; however, she didn't anticipate she'll need help so soon into her training.

The day after her uncomfortable conversation with her taichou, Nanao had thought it best to start with the part of the training she didn't feel uneasy about: hand-to-hand combat. To do it, she took the opportunity of being in charge of her division's physical evaluations, and scheduled their annual training tests for the end of that same week. Unwavering and harsher than usual –probably because she focused all her thoughts on Kyoraku while fighting– she had ended up beating the soul out of her fellow soul reapers in a perfect demonstration of skills over strength. Of course, it was slightly unsettling to realize that her students seemed to lack urgent strategy lessons, but she couldn't deny elated afterwards. Even her lazy captain, who had passed by to check on the evaluation, hadn't been able to hide his astonishment at her job.

Nevertheless, when Nanao had chosen to begin her zanpakutou training, she hadn't progressed much. She had to admit that her captain had offered to help her with the training for years and she had refused each and every one of them, but it had been because of his too-obvious intentions to get into her pants. As a result, most of her knowledge on the matter had derived from her exhaustive researches and self-learning methods. She knew though, that despite her lack of supervised preparation, the level of connection she had managed to achieve with her zanpakutou was considerably close to her objective. All she needed was a final push. That push, however, required her to reach out for assistance; something she had never really done in her life. So, after some serious consideration –although she had known from the start who she wanted to be coached by-, Nanao decided to step up for her dream. But, certainly, her dream could wait for her to get a couple of motivational shots of sake first. Indeed, those sake shots were precisely what she needed to get ready for the humbling duty of asking a superior officer for a favor. Especially a superior officer she particularly considered extremely distracting.

As a result, Nanao grabbed a casual outfit she had bought in Karakura –basically a purple tank top, a matching blouse, and black jeans-, and left for the pub.

Once inside the "Soul Crusaders", her friends' favorite meeting place, the black haired fukutaicho found herself face to face with her basic nightmare. Some of her friends were already there, yes, but so was her infamous captain, surrounded by three bimbos she suspected hadn't even graduated from the academy, Ukitake taichou, and a very tipsy Matsumoto Rangiku. Finding no way to ignore such a crowd, Ise greeted them coolly, and tried to participate in their conversation, despite the quantity of alcohol she could smell in the air.

For a moment, Shunsui just stared at her without paying attention to his concubines, but sooner than later he was back into his game…

Kyoraku: "Come on, Nanao-chan! Don't leave yet. I promise I'll show up to work early tomorrow."

Ise: "There's no need for you to promise me anything, sir."

Kyoraku: "Of course I do! I have barely seen you this last week, Nanao-chan."

Ise: "Sir, I meant that I'm not leaving yet. I'm going to the bar to get a drink, which is what I came for after all. Excuse me."

Matsumoto: "Wow! That back there was awesome, Nanao-chan. I'm so proud of you! What are you getting, by the way?"

Ise: "Ouch! Matsumoto, please stop suffocating me. I want to order my sake shot right now."

Matsumoto: "Ooooh… are you going to drink seriously tonight, my friend?"

Ise: "No, just a couple of shots, that's all. After that, I'm out of here."

Matsumoto: "Mmm, and how long are you planning to stay?"

Ise: "Around an hour, perhaps."

Matsumoto: "Damn! I would like so much to stay and drink with you-"

Ise: "And why won't you? You are always trying to convince me of coming here."

Matsumoto: "Well… it is because your idiot lover there keeps saying that my boss will come tonight. Can you believe it? MY taichou?"

Ise: "Oh, I see… what? He's coming HERE?"

Matsumoto: "Exactly! Or, at least, that's what Kyoraku is saying. So far, however, nothing."

Ise: "And why would he come?"

Matsumoto: "I'm not sure, but I don't think it would be good to stay considering he's still pissed off at me."

Ise: "Is he?"

Matsumoto: "Yeah. Keeps me far away from him and office most of the day. I'm working my ass off, really!"

Ukitake: "Sorry to interrupt, ladies, but would you care to rejoin us? I hope Shunsui's behavior hasn't made you uncomfortable. I'm sure Toushirou will be arriving soon." Ise: "Is Hitsugaya taichou really coming, captain?"

An almost imperceptible tone of hope came through Nanao's words, only noted by her old time friend, who frowned at her. The leader of the thirteenth division, on the other hand, simply smiled.

Ukitake: "Well, let's say Kyoraku and I made it impossible for him to reject our invitation, apart from the fact that he seemed very tense, so I guess he is coming. After all, he glared at us, but didn't say no."

Kyoraku: "Hey! Nanao-chan, Rangiku-chan, thank you for coming back to us. Did Juushirou tell you about my plan to corrupt young Toushirou tonight?"

Ayasegawa: "Oh, yeah. I heard he finally grew up from some a couple of excited girls the other day. But Matsumoto said he was still acting like his old self, right?"

Matsumoto: "Very much so."

Kyoraku: "Oh, but that doesn't matter at all, Yumichika. You see, all that is needed is a little bit of female attention, and he won't get it unless he gets out of his cave every now and then."

Ayasegawa: "True. So you're betting he'll catch women's attention tonight?"

Kyoraku: "Well, I'm not an authority in male beauty assessment, but perhaps you can give us a professional opinion at the end of the night."

Ise: "Oh, please. Just cut the crap with this nonsense. Hitsugaya taichou doesn't need any _assessment_, and is very far from turning into a pig like... _others_."

Ayasegawa: "You mean you have assessed him already, Ise-san?", asked Yumichika wickedly, causing Nanao to flush at the insinuation –although it wasn't entirely incorrect-, and the captain in the pink haori to look at her intensely, his smile faltering vaguely. Noticing his reaction though, and driven by the liqueur in her veins, Nanao decided to get even. So, as she stood up to get herself another drink, she breathed in and said:

Ise: "Well, as a matter of fact, I do happen to think that Hitsugaya taichou _is_ drop dead gorgeous. But he's also kind, hard-working, smart, and much more of a man than _most_ in this stupid pub, so I doubt he'll be playing your childish games. Oh! And by the way, if he does come, please ask him to meet me at the bar, because I need to talk with him in private, okay?"

Satisfied at the dumbfounded expressions on her audience, Nanao turned on her heels, only to get unexpectedly lost in a pair of startled teal eyes.

So much for her drunkenness…


	21. Chapter 21 The rollercoaster countdown

Chapter 21.-

The rollercoaster countdown

The night had seemed so promising when she had arrived a little earlier to demand Kim-chan's latest sake-based creation. She simply loved the hot, delicate liquid and its extraordinary effects in her. Like an explosion of life flowing through her body; a body she proudly knew most men, including many of her friends, desired. But the night had to go downhill for the fault of one of those rare exceptions. Yes, the heated argument between her best friend and Seireitei's top womanizer had all of them guiltily entertained… until Ayasegawa Yumichika opened his mouth to take it to a new level.

She had to admit she hadn't seen it coming, though. As a matter of fact, she remembered herself laughing at the egocentric officer's insinuation, and barely noticing the blush on Nanao's pale cheeks, when something else caught her attention. A slightly cold, familiar reiatsu suddenly reached to the place where they were seated and, for an instant, she felt the corners of her mouth tug upwards in a smile, recognizing her taichou's straightforward way of keeping uninvited people at a safe distance from himself. Indeed, she could almost picture his small frame surrounded by a crowd of drunken shinigami in her mind. However, when she did looked him up, the captain known as the "boy genius" no longer looked like a boy, his frame was far from small, and several heads had turned to stare openly at him. Her smile hadn't faltered by the time their eyes met and, for that brief moment, he returned it awkwardly, before heading towards their group of friends. He had been standing merely a few meters behind Nanao…

What happened next, was still a blur in her head, courtesy of the several, exotic drinks she had from that point on. She was pretty sure she hadn't drunk that much alcohol in decades, but she couldn't really blame herself for it, could she? After all, she was desperate. No matter how many shots kept coming to her hands, her sobriety didn't seem to leave her. Like one of those annoying alarm clocks that are nearly impossible to turn off, her head stayed painfully awake throughout the night. As such, she remained sober enough not to miss a series of unprecedented events:

1. Hitsugaya fighting back a blush to thank Nanao for her flattering remarks and, actually, managing to compliment her in return;

2. Her best friend's assault of the bar not long afterwards;

3. Kyoraku's incessant attempts to convince her mortified taichou into taking advantage of a couple of waitresses who were giving him hungry looks;

4. the ice captain glaring at her –in other words, blaming her- for Nanao's inebriated state and;

5. finally, him telling Kyoraku off before joining the black-haired fukutaicho at the bar.

Indeed, to everyone's surprise, both left the bar together after talking about Kami knows what for hours.

So, what had _really_ gone wrong in the end? Judging merely from the number of embarrassing situations that had occurred that night, she would have normally graded it as a complete success. Sure, she hadn't gotten drunk, but she had been the last to stop calling the shots. She had even lived up to her bad reputation, earning one more scowl from her captain and; most importantly, her uptight comrade in arms had finally gotten back at Shunsui for being a jerk. Still, the memory of the previous night's events made her feel strangely uncomfortable, and she didn't have a clue as to why.

Stretching to get rid of the awkward feeling, Matsumoto Rangiku stepped into her kitchen to grab something fresh to drink. The clock that was hanging on the wall next to her SWA's calendar told her it was way past 11:00 a.m. already, making her curse loudly. Out of habit, the redheaded shunpooed as fast as a lightning bolt to her bedroom, and was in the middle of changing her clothes, when she spotted an old photograph lying over her bedside table. It was a picture Shuuhei had taken long ago of herself flanked by Nanao and her taichou. She remembered she had decided to leave it as permanent part of her decoration, because her two companions had been caught, not only smiling, but even looking at each other and making fun of her apparent insanity. It was a scene most people in Seireitei would certainly qualify as completely out of character for the two normally-reserved officers, but made total sense to her and the very few who really knew them well.

Uninvited, an image of Nanao and her taichou leaving the bar together flashed before her eyes again, making her stomach flip. Looking at the clock one more time, Matsumoto finished putting on her uniform, stepped out of her quarters, and headed to the eighth division.

XXXXX

"Hitsugaya taichou. May I?"

"Yes, sir. Please."

"I came to confirm the positive report I received from our support team in the human world. You do appear to be doing better now."

"Indeed, sir. I am almost recovered, and in a very good condition."

"Almost?"

"Yes, sir. I believe you were told I would need three more weeks of long-distance treatment before I can use my full reiatsu without any risks?"

"Well, that means you're basically recovered from my perspective. I trust I'll be able to count with you for the remaining tasks I have designed to select my future replacement, then?"

"Whenever you wish, sir."

"I see though, that your fukutaicho is not in the office?"

"Matsumoto is doing some errands on my behalf, sir."

"Errands? Doesn't your third seat take care of such work?"

"No, sir."

"Very well. Just as a reminder, however, your request regarding Matsumoto Rangiku's career it still under review. I hope I get to see her doing some actual work here next time I come, Toushiro; that is, if I don't make my decision first."

"I understand, sir."

"I know you do, captain; but it is also your responsibility that your subordinate does it as well. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other visits in order."

"Sure."

"Good day."

"Good day."

XXXXX

If Ise Nanao thought her terrible hangover was more than enough punishment for her explosion the night before, she had been painfully wrong. Not only did her head hurt like hell, but she had also had to wake up early to finish some important paperwork she had completely forgotten about, her boss had disappointed her once more by failing to show up to work that morning, and Unohana taichou had asked her to prepare a statistics' chart on their sales for their SWA meeting that afternoon. The worse part though, was that it was barely midday and all she could think about was how good it would be if she could just return home to sleep and forget about the drastic changes in her life. She almost wished for Matsumoto to come and convince her to skip work and… _oh, for sweet Kami!_ There she was!

"Matsumoto!"

"Nanao-chan! I've come to-"

"To talk me into leaving the office early? Great! Let's go!"

"Ye-what?"

"I said I agree."

"So you really want to skip work, Nanao-chan?"

"Well, it's more than that, actually. I need to get out of this division."

"I see. Let's go, then?"

"Hell yes!"

(… a few minutes later)

"So, what do you think, Matsumoto?"

"I'm sorry, what?

"Haha. I'm glad to confirm that I'm not the only one with the head in the clouds today. I asked what was your opinion, Rangiku."

"Oh! Haha. I guess I'm a bit distracted these days. But, what is it that you want my opinion about?"

"Yesterday's events, of course. You were coming to discuss that, weren't you?"

"Well, yeah. I wanted to check on you. Honestly, I was almost sure you weren't going to work today."

"I didn't want to, but had to; the story of my life."

"Post drinking depression?"

"Not really. I was already down by the time I arrived to the club. Thankfully, Hitsugaya taichou saved me from myself. You are so lucky, Matsumoto."

"Yes…, I heard you last night."

"Oh, dear kami, I know! I feel so embarrassed right now, Matsumoto. I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Haha, what are you sorry for? He might still act like a grumpy kid, but it's not like I were his grandma or anything."

"Really?"

"Really. Why the surprised face, now? You don't believe me?"

"No, it's just that… never mind."

"What?"

"I just thought it would be awkward for you, that's all."

"Haha, don't be silly, Nanao-chan. You just paid him a couple of compliments to make Kyouraku jealous; it's not like anything else happened between you two, right?"

"Well…, something did happened; but not in THAT way, Matsumoto!"

"O-okay…. What happened, then?"

"Well, do you remember the last thing I said to you about my interest in taking the captain's exam?"

"Mmm, yes. You said you had reached your limit last week, so you weren't sure about registering for it anymore."

"That's true, I can't make any more progress on my own."

"Hold on, is that what you two talked about all night?"

"Not ALL night, no; but-"

"Haha, I can't believe it! You spent most of your drunkest night discussing exam's tips with my taichou? To think that the guys were all whispering like old ladies about how cozy you both looked together at the bar! This is incredible."

"For sweet kami, Matsumoto; please let me finish."

"Hahaha, so-sorry, Nanao-chan. I just can't help laughing at the thought that the guys, and even I, had been considering you could have really meant what you said about my taichou! Haha, so fu-funny! I knew you wouldn't look at a kid like him."

"Matsumoto…"

"Yes?"

"Hitsugaya taichou has agreed to train me for the captain's exam."

"What?"

"What you heard. Starting tomorrow, I'll be training under his supervision. He'll help me between working hours."

"Wait, wait. He'll be your mentor?"

"Yes."

"That is… very good for you, I guess."

"Thank you, Matsumoto. Are you really alright with it?"

"Absolutely! Oh, I'm starving! Any bright ideas for lunch?"

"Eeh? But-"

"Come on, Nanao-chan! You need to feed me for having rescued you from work."

"Okay, okay. Can we go to my place for a while, then? I´ll need some extra sleep afterwards, and I'm sure I have lots of leftovers there that you can mix at your heart's content."

"Yay! What are we waiting for, then? Let's go!"

"Hey, wait for me! Silly woman; how does she think she's going to get in without me?"

XXXXX

There was really no need for her to panic. She was a grown up woman, had already accomplished a lot in her still very short professional career as a seated shinigami –the _short_ part basically thanks to her overprotective older brother, of course-, and this was not the first time she came back to Seireitei after a long stay at the human world. As such, why was she so alarmingly tense? The answer was easy. And loud. And had orange hair.

Sure when it came to guts and natural talent, Kurosaki Ichigo, their approved shinigami support agent in the human world, was one of the most loyal and formidable partners they could count with. However, it was the matter of him being simply incapable of staying out of the enemies' radar that got her like this, even when she should be having fun. Tonight, for example, she decided to give herself a little break and, despite her better judgment, left her post to attend the SWA meeting of the month, which would include interesting updates on their kinky calendar project.

_Breathe, Rukia, breathe. The idiot, son of a… shinigami, won't screw up everything you've worked for these past few years in a single night, so be cool. Reeeeally, cool; just like your zanpakutou, okay? After all, you can always play dirty and get back at him later; even if that means asking Kon for help. That's right, that half-human jerk is totally in your hands, muahaha!_

"Kuchiki-san? Kuchiki-san? Are you okay?"

"Haha, wha-what? Oh! Isane! Were you talking to me?"

"Yes, I was; but you seemed to be daydreaming…?

"Kind of, haha. Sorry if I scared you."

"No, not at all! I actually do it all the time, you know? My sister keeps telling me to quit the habit."

"Kiyone, you mean? Mmm, she might be right. Daydreaming can be dangerous."

"I know. But anyways, have you just arrived, Kuchiki-san?"

"To be honest, yes. I wanted to check if the calendar project was still on, and to assist my boss with a couple of tedious reports. By the way, you can call me Rukia, Isane-chan. Kuchiki-san sounds as boring as my brother."

"Oh! Okay. So, Rukia-san, when are you going back to the human world? Is Kurosaki-san alone down there?"

"Well, I'll be here for a couple of days, tops. And yes, I left the crazy strawberry in charge of Karakura town, but not before asking his Quincy friend to stick around in case he gets into trouble, as usual."

"Good thinking."

"Yeah. That guy is like a gigantic magnet that only attracts chaos. I can't even begin to describe what it is like to be responsible for him!" *dramatic pose with the back of her hand against her forehead as a sign of despair*

"What? You've finally gotten tired of reading too much doujinshi during your fake classes?"

"Hey-Oh! Hi there, Yachiru! I thought you were only making fun of your squad's male colleagues these days. What have you been doing to them exactly?"

"Ooooh! If I told you, Rukia-chan…! Don't misunderstand me, 'cause I know you'll be like a sister to me in the near future and all, but I can't risk giving away my secret strategies just yet."

"Rukia-san, Kusajishi-san, I think the meeting is about to begin. Let's seat closer to the board's table", half-whispered the fourth division fukutaicho vehemently.

The VIP members of the association, which were namely the seated female shinigami of Seireitei's thirteen squads, immediately gathered around the main committee representatives and made silence. During the introduction of the session, the thoughts of a certain white-haired healer stated to deviate from the meeting itself…

_Why me? Just when I thought I was finally getting over Shuuhei, picking up what was left of my already poor self-esteem, I had to sit precisely __**here**__. Why, for sweet kami? Why did I have to come and sit, from all the places I could chose, right in front of Rangiku-san? She's simply perfect from head to toe! Perfect skin, gorgeous hair, hourglass figure… And the worse thing is that I like her very much. Although, not as much as Shuuhei does, apparently. And he's such a good kisser-no! I mean, such a good man… Damn! Why is everybody looking at me, now? Great kami, please tell me I haven't been talking in the middle of my daydream? _

"So, Isane-san, do you think you can help Yachiru-san carry out her plan on how to increase our sales during the remaining of this week? We only have 5 more days to get to the amount set by the Soutaicho, so desperate times…"

"Wha-eehh, sure! I'll… do my best, Unohana taichou", said the healer lieutenant with a slightly quivering voice. Around her, her friends started to whistle excitedly. She tried hard to look confident but, a few seconds later curiosity got the best of her. Turning to reach for her younger sister, who was sitting in the row right behind her, she whispered:

"So, ehem, what did I just promise to do exactly?"

"Haha, I KNEW you were lost, hahaha. You just accepted to go Yachiru-san on a secret journey that basically involves stalking the Gotei 13 and taking pictures of them in secret. Good luck!"

"Oh-wait, stalking? Hey, don't go!"

"What is it, Isane-chan? Are you worried? Relax, I know just how to sneak into all division without getting caught."

"Do you, Yachiru-san?", asked the tall shinigami, now trembling slightly.

"Sure. For example, did you know there is a secret tunnel that leads you right inside the sixth's showers? Oooh, we'll have so much fun! See ya tomorrow!"

"… I swear… I'm never, EVER, daydreaming again."

END OF THE CHAPTER

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Author's Note:

**Hello there, everyone! I took a little break this time, but I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did while writing it. For the record, I already have the complete story drafted –so I'm not thinking of ever leaving it unfinished-, however, every little detail I change or add ends up giving me a lot of work in the editing phase; gomen! **

**Also, for those who were a bit confused with the way I had been presenting the dialogue parts, you may have noticed that I've chosen a clearer format for this chapter. If you disagree, please let me know; otherwise, I'll keep this format for the rest of this fic. Cheers! ;) **


	22. Chapter 22 New beginnings and sour

Chapter 22.-

New beginnings and sour greetings

Why do major changes in life happen all together at once? First my patience running out on me, then the whole calendar project seeing the light after years of planning, and now… her training for the captains' test. It was simply too much to take in, but there was no turning back. She promised Hitsugaya taichou she'd be in his office at 7am sharp; so she'd have to go, even after spending most of the night awake.

As customary, Nanao looked at her reflection in her bathroom's mirror before leaving her quarters. She couldn't help but freeze for a couple of minutes to gather her courage. She barely recognized herself in the simple training uniform she was wearing, but he had given her instructions and she would follow them no matter what.

So, without further ado, Ise Nanao headed to her first training session with the respected ice dragon master.

XXXXXXX

"Are we there already?", asked a nervous Isane for what felt like the hundredth time to the pink-haired menace next to her. She couldn't quite decide what was more irritating about the bold fukutaicho: her complete lack of wariness, or the fact that was –as everyone in Seireitei already knew- directionally challenged. Still, parting ways at that point was not an option anymore.

"Oh, quit whining, Isane-chaaan. No one's here at this hour; it's too damn early for a Sunday."

"But we are in the middle of the sixth's main corridor! Someone is bound to appear!", hissed the tall healer in response.

"Mmm, I think… no, we're not there yet…"

"Yachiru-san, please listen to me!"

"Got it! It's this way! Come!"

"Wh-what?! Hey! Was that a secret passage-?"

"Ssssh! There he is… look!"

And indeed, there he was. Isane had no clue as to how exactly they had gotten there, but the half-naked man meditating right on the other side of the patio they had entered was no other than Kuchiki Byakuya.

"This is it, then."

"It?"

"Wake up, Isane-chan. I know my man is the finest male specimen around, but we came here for something; so it's time."

"But… wait; are we going to take pictures of him too?"

"Sure. Were you really not listening to Unohana taichou yesterday? Haha, you're so cute. Of course we're here to take pictures of every officer we find, so starting with the most tempting one in Seireitei is definitely what we need."

"O-okay. Here it is."

"Then what are you waiting for?! You better hurry, 'cause the rest of the division is about to finish the morning training session and that means we're going to the showers!"

"God…"

"Haha, relax, girl. You're with me."

"Yeah… I know…"

XXXXXXX

"Matsumoto? Is that you?"

"Eeh? Oh, hi taichou."

"Are you alright, Matsumoto? It's Sunday, you know."

"I know, I know. I just… wanted to wish Nanao luck before her training."

"Oh, right. Well, she should be here any moment now."

"Yes, she told me."

Matsumoto tried not to sound too reproachful at her last reply, but couldn't help it. After all, he was supposed to have informed her of that arrangement. She was his fukutaicho, wasn't she?

"I see. Matsumoto, do you have any problem with me training Nanao-"

"No, not all! Why would I?"

"Because you deserved to learn about this from me."

"It's no big deal… really."

"Hello?"

"Nanao-chan!", greeted Rangiku suddenly, interrupting her captain's apparent desire to continue with their conversation. She didn't feel like making a fuss in front of her friend.

"Are you alright, Matsumoto? It's Sunday, you know."

"Hahaha, it seems that you two are totally synchronized even before starting your training. That's… so cool! Well, I'll leave you guys here now that I've done what I came for. After all, it is Sunday still and I need some quality time with myself. See ya!" And like a lightning strike, Matsumoto was shunpooing back to her quarters, a stream of unwelcomed thoughts flowing into her mind.

XXXXXXX

Monday (the day after) – 11am.

"Wh-what, who…who is this?"

"Matsumoto, are you intoxicated?"

"Tsss-taichou, is that you?"

"Yes, it's me."

"*hic!* How sweet! Are you calling me to let me know that your training is over?"

"Matsumoto, that was yesterday. Today is a Monday. A working day."

"Oooh…"

"Right. Well, I want to know if I can count on you this afternoon, given that I won't be in the division."

"But… Where are you go-*hic!*- going?"

"I've received another task from the Soutaichou. By the way, you should know that he came by the office a few minutes ago. He asked about you, again."

"Fuck!"

"I'm glad you seem to have finally awoken, Matsumoto."

"I-I'll be there."

"I hope so. I might not be back for a couple of days."

"I understand. I'm… I'm sorry."

"Goodbye, Matsumoto."

END OF THE CHAPTER

**Author's Note:**

**Hi, everyone! Sorry for disappearing for so long. I'll try not to do it again. I know this chapter is a bit short, but please review. Love you all! ;) **


	23. Chapter 23 Meetings

**Yes, believe or not, here is another chapter already! **

**Please, enjoy & don't forget to review! **

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Chapter 23.-

Meetings…

"Haha, it seems like the SWA is doing a hell of a campaign this year, nee Toshirou?", asked a relaxed Shunsui stretched over his flowered carpet while perusing the latest edition of their newspaper.

"If you're talking about their silly collections of pictures, it does seem that way."

"The soutaichou; however, didn't look as vexed because of that as in other occasions. Mind you, he might not stay as calm after this particular collection."

"…Why?"

"Mmm… have you seen Byakuya lately?"

"Yes, a couple of days ago. What does it have to do-"

"Have you seen him TODAY?"

"No, but-"

"Well then, hehe, let's say this edition is pretty much centered on him."

"What?!"

"Yep. Look!"

"Wait… But these were taken by someone INSIDE his own quarters! That must be what's been keeping Matsumoto strangely busy, then."

"Strangely busy?", asked the eight division captain with a smirk.

"Yes. She's been spending most of her days out of the office."

"And that's unusual?"

"Quit the sarcasm, Kyoraku. You know very well that it's actually due to your frequent sake parties that she usually escapes more often than not from her duties."

"Hehe, I thought it was paperwork she was running from."

"…very funny, Shunsui."

"Okay, okay. So, back on track, you think she's been busy with these assignments?"

"It would make sense. Especially since you just told me a few minutes ago that you haven't seen much of her either lately."

"True."

"…"  
"Hey, so what will you do now? Don't tell me you'll scream at her the way you did when she filled your cabinets with pictures of naked women? Hahaha."

"No!"

"Woo-hoo! Someone's blushing…!"

"Argh! You and Matsumoto are really… I'll never know how Nanao-san puts up with you."

"...Mmm, my Nanao-chan…"

"Oh, now what?"

"She's gonna leave me soon… and YOU're helping her!"

"It was HER idea, you moron! And don't give me that fake, sad puppy look."

"You're so mean! Just like my Nanao-chan!", exclaimed the captain with the pink-haori in a theatrical voice, shaking the white-haired genius' left arm with very little force.

"Right. Guess this is my queue. Get off me, Shunsui. I gotta get back to work."

"Work? Yuck!"

"Exactly."

"You know, Toushirou; you should relax a bit more now."

"Now?"

"Yes, now. You know what I mean. This past weeks have been full of changes for you, and-"

"I see", interrupted Hitsugaya with a note of resentfulness. "Well, I guess that NOW I should just sit back and relax and drink sake all day, eh?"

"I didn't mean it that way, Toushirou"

"It's fine. I got it, but I still have to go, especially if my lieutenant cannot be trusted with any actual work these days. See y- Ah!"

But as the ice dragon wielder turned around though, he collided against an unexpected box of candies, courtesy of Ukitake taichou, who had just entered his old friend's office to say hi.

"Oh! Sorry, Shiro-chan! I thought I had heard you voice! I just left a bag of delicious toffees in your division."

"I don't like- argh, whatever. Who received them for me?"

"Matsumoto-san, of course!"

"Matsumoto?!"

"Sure! She was there taking a little nap when I arrived."

"Excuse me. I have to go back to my office RIGHT AWAY. See you at the captains' meeting tonight", said Hitsugaya quickly before shunpooing as fast as he could.

"Damn… I wouldn't like to be in Matsumoto's shoes right now."

"I see. Is that what you've been talking about?"

"Yes and no. He first came to ask me if I suspected something from the attack in the outskirts of Seireitei the other day."

"Mmm, he noticed it too."

"Yeah… it's not a good sign. You know what happened the last time the three of us sensed something wrong around here… Anyway, we should remain vigilant, just in case."

"And what about him being angry when I arrived, then?"

"Oh, well. You know. He won't admit that his whole situation has changed after his physical self… evolved, so to speak."

"That is… a sensitive issue indeed, Shunsui. He has finally reached a certain personal freedom, but the timing –as usual- is not on his side."

"You're referring to the soutaichou's replacement tests, aren't you?"

"We both know he's a natural leader, to the point that barely no one among the Gotei 13 would actually mind following his instructions."

"Yeah… but the old man's always been awfully strict with him. He's kinda fucked up."

"So, he's got two worries to carry over his shoulders right now."

"Three, actually."

"Three?"

"Yeah, the third one is-"

Suddenly, as if in queue, a potent scream came from outside the division, and the name of a certain redheaded fukutaicho bounced between the walls of all the neighboring buildings.

"Right," added the long-haired leader in a calm voice, "Matsumoto-san."

XXXXXXXXX

_For sweet kami's sake, he finally left! Everyone in Seiretei must already think she's gotten into trouble again, but she was almost certain it wasn't so this time…, right? Why was he so pissed off with her? Wasn't it enough for him that she had kept out of the way during his paperwork reviewing and his special training sessions with Nanao? Let's face it: SHE should be the one getting angry at him for offering to give the highest level of training to a shinigami who wasn't even a member of their own division… Of course, Nanao was her friend and it was a good thing for her, but she was close to achieving bankai too, or not? And HE knew it, didn't he? _

_Whatever…, it didn't matter now that he was thankfully out of the damn office. The good part was that whenever this happened, her friends would always be willing to invite her a drink or two to overcome the argument she'd had with her annoying, job-fanatic, hysterical, not-so-cute-anymore captain! _

_Yeah… that was unsettling as well; the sudden way he had changed… She didn't like been around him now; and she didn't like thinking too much about it, honestly. She'd definitely go to the pub after work._

Unexpectedly, the phone on her captain´s desk rang.

Shit! It better not be more work…

-This is the tenth, Hello?

-Matsumoto?

-Kiyone-san?

-Yes!

-Oh, thank kami! I thought it was work!

-No, no… it's related to the SWA.

-Perfect. What is it?

-Well, we need you to come to our meeting room NOW!

-Now?!

-Yes! I'm here with Unohana taichou. She just received the news!

-News?! Wait…

-Yes! Yes! Yes! It's exactly what you're thinking, Matsumoto. I can't help telling you right now, the hell with the formal announcement. We did it!

-We… we…?

-We reached the target and got soutaichou's approval!

-We did it?! Oh, my sweet, sweet goddess of sake!

-Hahaha, yes! Now bring your ass here, Matsumoto!

-O-okay! I'll be there in a minute!

-Ok, see you!

XXXXXXXXX

Unohana taichou had a pleased expression on her face while talking with her team of senior members of the SWA. Indeed, it had been a great idea to re-join them at the beginning of that year, as she could see great changes happening as a result of her job as president. She knew most of her male comrades would not be able to understand why she did it exactly, but she was tired of seeing her subordinates so lonely and trapped by their own duties. A woman couldn't live behind a uniform. Men could –and only up to a point, mind you-, but there was no reason why they should as well. No. Enough was enough, and the soutaichou´s interest in choosing a replacement has proved to be quite useful for their plans. To note though, that she wasn't being selfish. She was more than sure that the male officers of Seireitei would eventually be benefitted from her actions, too. Eventually…

-"Order, please!"

-"Oh, come on, Nanao-chan! Kanpai!", exclaimed an already tipsy Yachiru taking the purple-eyed fukutaicho by the shoulder with slightly too much force due to her state. Of course, the approx. ten women around her cheered and toasted for their success with animosity.

-"You know, girls, I didn't really think we'd pull it off", admitted a crimson-faced Isane with a small smile.

-"Well, your work has been amazing, sis!", said Kiyone enthusiastically, drawing the applause of her colleagues in agreement and making the tall shinigami blush even harder.

-"Yeah, it's been quite a long way, isn't it?", added a thoughtful Hinamori among the general laughter.

-"Haha, to remember that you had been half against this, ain't it true Hinamori-san?"

-"Wha-what do you mean, Soifon-san?"

-"Well, I'm just saying it's a bit ironic that you were against our former boy genius posing naked for this project. Now I'm guessing he'll be one of our favorite victims!"

The black-haired officer's smile faltered a bit at the statement, but didn't leave her sweet face. For a couple of seconds however, she exchanged looks with her childhood friend's lieutenant to find some reassurance, finding an uncharacteristic bitter smile in return.

-"Oh, please. I can almost hear him yelling at me again", said Matsumoto in queue.

-"Oooh! He does look dressed to kill in more than one sense with his training uniform on, doesn't he, Nanao-chan?", asked Yachiru winking, and making the composed fukutaicho change the subject immediately after noticing the expression on her friend's face.

-"By the way, Unohana taichou, could you tell us how it this going to be? When are the male captains going to receive the… news?"

-"Very good question, Ise-san. It will be tonight. The soutaichou does not want to wait any longer to give the news so that we can schedule the photo-shoots. And that my girls, is the reason why Soifon-san and I will need to get going now. Today's Gotei 13 meeting promises to be a bit… intense."

-"To say the least", added the 2nd squad leader with a satisfied smile on her face.

And, to the cheers of the group, the two women made their way to the main building to join their male counterparts in what was definitely going to be a rough session.

-"Matsumoto?"

-"Yes, Nanao-chan?"

-"I heard Hitsugaya taichou's scream earlier. Can I invite you a drink before the big explosion reaches us?"

-"Wow! You're inviting me a drink?"

-"Yeah… I might need one too, you know. Opposite to your captain's predictable reaction to the news, I'm already picturing mine celebrating for the chance of showing off!"

-"Mmm, you're right. We both need a couple of strong drinks. Let's go, then."

END OF THE CHAPTER

XXXXXXXXX

**Author's Note:**

**Again, please review. I want to know what you thought of this chapter and what you're expecting. **

**By the way, I've got another Hitsumatsu project coming soon as well! Cheers! ;) **


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